Over the last several weeks I’ve been dying—dying to me. My wife left her part-time teaching job at the community college to teach full-time at one of the local high schools. I was excited for her new opportunity and didn’t mind making some sacrifices for her success. But I hadn’t realized that sometimes she would have to leave early, stay late, and burn the midnight oil to write lesson plans and record grades. Her new schedule means I have to wake up the kids earlier, make breakfast, fix and pack lunches, drive them to and from school, and flex my schedule in cases of emergency.
I wonder if this is what Paul had in mind when he penned Ephesians 5:25. He commands husbands to model their behavior on the way Christ loved the church and demonstrated His love by dying on the cross. Such divine love goes far beyond sexual love or even love for friends. That kind of love leads to personal sacrifice for the one who is loved.
Christ sacrificed Himself for the church so that she could become pure and holy (vv.25-26). Husbands are to love their wives and treat them with the same care that they would their own bodies (v.28). Christ feeds and cares for His church because we are members of His body, and a husband is to show the same care for his wife (v.29).
The role of the husband in marriage can be fully understood in light of what Christ did and does for His bride, the church. We shouldn’t look to culture to understand our relationship and role in marriage, but to Christ’s example.
This example may mean that we have to die to our selfish ambition, our plans, and our schedules in order to demonstrate sacrificial love and care for our spouses. Join me in “dying to me”!
More:
You husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together (1 Peter 3:7).
Next:
If you’re married, in what practical way will you sacrifice for your spouse to demonstrate your love for him or her? How can you express your thankfulness to Jesus for making you part of His bride (the church)?
Noe Prins on September 3, 2009 at 2:51 am
The devotional was good. Especially seince you only hear the side of wives submitting to husbands…
It would’ve been good to start the passage reading from Vs 21
Noe Prins on September 3, 2009 at 2:53 am
Sorry, i meant, usually since you only hear the side of wives submitting to husbands…
phillip on September 3, 2009 at 5:59 am
I think that’s exactly what Paul had in mind when he wrote Eph. 5:25. Compared to living with my wife for the past 46 years and daily giving up my own preferences and desires for her, I think actually dying for her would be relatively easy. Think about what Christ did for His bride, the church. First, He left his home in glory and laid aside His Godly prerogatives. He was born as a helpless human infant and grew up in obedience to His earthly parents who were in fact His creation. He learned and plied a trade. After He entered His public ministry, He was pestered, poked, prodded and “pressed about on every side continually.” He had to escape to have any time to Himself and still they followed. At the end, He was betrayed and abandoned by those He had invested His life in. He was abused, tortured and finally killed by those He forgave. He did all this for the church, His bride. Of all this, I think the physical death was the least of the sacrifice. But, His becoming sin for us so that we might become His righteousness is an aspect of His death that we cannot comprehend and for which there is no counterpart in the husband-wife relationship.
Also, I agree with Noe Prins – teaching on marriage from Eph. 5 should begin at vs. 21 – “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” The woman is to submit to her husband in her role as his wife, and the man is to submit to his wife in his role as husband.
mastarks on September 3, 2009 at 6:07 am
This devotional is on point for me and something I needed to hear as a husband who forgets the sacrifices that my wife makes for me daily. I greatly appreciate this.
chickamonga2002 on September 3, 2009 at 1:54 pm
I can’t get over a line in Phillip’s comment! For all the humility Christ showed, I never saw this one coming! The line I am refering to is: “He was born as a helpless human infant and grew up in obediance to His earthly parents who were in fact His creation”!!! WOW! What a concept!!! I am divorced and have no children, but I have a hand in influencing newly married couples with children! Thank you, Marvin, for your devotional, and thank you Phillip for this added and much needed insight!!!
learning2serv on September 7, 2009 at 9:16 am
[Wistfully wondering while reading…] I wonder what new life my twists are about to take? (I thought about correcting that, but it made since to me and may make since to you as well)
My wife is recovering from a double lung transplant and will be getting out of the hospital soon, getting stronger everyday. For the past few years, I’ve had to increase in the amount of chores I’ve had to do, her illness having advanced to the place where I had to feed her in bed.
It reminds me the thought, “Be careful of what you say, you may have to eat those words.” Years ago, while my wife was healthy, I remember going home with a friend after work and as soon as he got home, he touched up the dishes in the sink and cleaned up the kitchen. I remember thinking, “Don’t think I’ll be doing that…”
Years and many dishes and clean (attempted – LOL) floors later, I look back and realize that he loved his wife and family, doing what came natural and necessary because of the true man and real husband that he was.
Slowly it transitioned from something done “grudgingly and of necessity” to “a simple necessity”. On some days I even realized it was my “reasonable service”. Love does that. It transforms necessary things to special things and then they become merely reasonable once they’ve become a part of us.
I suppose we want to do things the right way because of who we are. We learn how to do things the right way because of who we are becoming.
May the life of Christ keep growing in us all so that we may all keep “dying to me”.
kenkias on September 24, 2009 at 9:51 am
Over the past two years i have been learning what it means to truly die to yourself. it has been a struggle to say the least, but well worth it. God in his infinite wisdom has taught me that being humble in its self takes nothing away from you as a person, but makes you stronger and more useful to him. Thru the pain, the tears and all the sleepless nights i know now that without God i can do nothing, am nothing and will be nothing. From hurdle to hurdle my Lord has held me, protected me, warned me, shielded me, comforted me and planted my feet on solid ground. he is bringing me to a place that is unfamiliar to me, and out of my comfort zone. Satan is pulling on me, but my God is patient with me, cause he knows that i will bring myself to obey his voice. i can’t say that i want to go where he is taking me, cause it means that i loose control, but i know he is the one constant that i can depend on. As Jesus says for this reason i was born and brother Paul says i must press on for the prize. I want to encourage you all to keep your hand in God’s hand and let go, jump and leap when he blows the whistle. Let go of all weights, strongholds and believe that our King eternal will do all that we ask, think and need.
God Bless each and every one of you.