My pastor sat down in my church office and told me about a parishioner he had encountered years ago at another church. The woman, known for her criticism, felt that he did nothing right, and she shared those sentiments with others. His sermons weren’t the kind of preaching she liked. At best, she said, they were “mediocre.” She even asked him why he didn’t preach like some of the ministers on TV. When he met to talk with her about her criticisms, she didn’t back down. But even with all of the venom he received from the woman, my pastor could say to me, “There were many wonderful things she did for the church. We’re all mixed bags, Marlena, all mixed bags. Just remember that.”
I took his words to heart, because I know I’m a mixed bag too. While I may not often struggle with constantly and publicly criticizing others, there are certainly times when I grumble in my heart against people (see Philippians 2:14). As Galatians 5:17 says, “The Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other.”
I’m called to love my neighbor as myself (Galatians 5:14), but I want to love my neighbor when it’s easy and convenient. The real test of my love comes when it’s difficult and inconvenient.
Which reminds me: When I’m tempted to point out the sins of others (most often family members) to take specks out of their eyes (Matthew 7:3-5), I need to remember that I too am a mixed bag. I too struggle even if it’s not with the same sins. The realization that I’m much more a sinner than a saint is humbling.
Praise God that He helps me deal with my faulty, human ways (Galatians 5:22)—producing a mixed bag of “fruit” that can honor Him!
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: Esther 3:1-15
More:
Read Psalm 15. Think about how God sees both our hidden sins and the good deeds done in secret.
Next:
Are there any blind spots in your life? Places of tension? How might you address those with God’s help and the help of others so you can walk in the Spirit?
Gary Shultz on May 4, 2016 at 5:42 am
I think you are absolutely right. We all bring baggage that we have in our mixed bag. We learn, hear describe, encounter, observe, work out, things different. And of course the list could be bigger. Some old habits die hard and possibly gracious new ones have not been well applied. Back to the wisdom of your pastor; life and knowledge has shown him a deep truth and he has also applied the greater response. To love the church; love fellow believers in spite of the conditions we see and perceive. It is difficult; however, loving them is a command of Christ, strengthening the church and showing others a love beyond regular practice. What a great reminder to be less critical of others, I know I need to be continually reminded of that and the love God shows to me. Thanks Marlena
Marlena Graves on May 4, 2016 at 8:22 am
Thank you. I was struck by how he could see the good in her despite her major criticism of him! That was impressive to me , as I noted, and took the Spirit of God. I don’t know that I could have said that in the moment. Maybe years later!
godlove on May 4, 2016 at 6:58 am
It’s so easy to forget that we are all sinners saved by grace. We are often quick to point out flaws in others, disregarding our own frailties. The realisation that we are all mixed bags is truly a humbling thought, which can help us better obey Jesus’ teaching to love our neighbours as we love ourselves. I like your last line, may God bring out good “fruits” of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control from our mixed bags. Thanks Marlena.
Marlena Graves on May 4, 2016 at 8:21 am
I notice that I struggle with things others might not and vice versa. It’s hard to see in ourselves, isn’t it?
gagirllive on May 4, 2016 at 7:15 am
“We’re all mixed bags.” Marlena, my reply would have probably been, “nuts or fruit?” Definitely nuts in my case. 🙂 Well, how well we receive criticism says a lot about us keeping in step with the Spirit, doesn’t it? I love your pastor’s gracious response and especially his compliment that the woman had done many wonderful things for the church. That helps me remember that our flaws are not the total sum of who we are, only a part. While she obviously had a critical spirit, she also displayed other fruit
that was a blessing to the church. I also think that, to a degree, even her criticism was a blessing (though in disguise). “Difficult people” are often sent to us, and although they may hurt us, they help us, too. They are God’s refining agents. They help us grow up in Christ. They help us learn to walk by the Spirit. When I’m faced with criticism, I ask myself if there is any truth to what is being said. Usually, I find that there is at least a fraction of truth that God wants to discuss with me. Even if it’s not what was directly criticized, God uses it to bring something to my attention that needs to be addressed. That’s the great thing about mixed bags, I suppose. God has a way of using all of it—even the “bad fruit”—for good. I always enjoy the transparency in your articles, Marlena. Thank you for sharing like you do. Blessings upon your day and all who visit here!
Marlena Graves on May 4, 2016 at 8:20 am
You do have insight there for sure!
jim spillane on May 4, 2016 at 12:08 pm
gagirllive – you are a joy to this forum, and I certainly take delight and interest in your comments. I definitely see myself in your “nuts” statement. Probably more nuts than good fruit, in my case! In reply to your comment of “how well we receive criticism says a lot about us keeping in step with the Spirit” goes straight to the point of personal pride. To me, the greater our pride, the more negative our response is to criticism. It’s along the lines of “how dare you attack me!” And, immediately, up goes the defense mechanism. In my past, I’ve never been very good with criticism, or complements for that matter. Too much pride. But now, through the work of the Holy Spirit, I consider myself “under construction.” And to everyone I encounter, thanx for your patience.
gagirllive on May 4, 2016 at 1:03 pm
Amen, Jim! We are all “under construction” until He comes for us! Love your honest heart, Jim.
Tom Felten on May 4, 2016 at 8:09 am
I like what Martin Luther said, “God can draw a straight line with a crooked stick.”
Marlena Graves on May 4, 2016 at 8:19 am
That’s a great line by Luther! It’s the first time I’ve heard it. Thank you, Tom!
gagirllive on May 4, 2016 at 8:24 am
Tom, you have said succinctly in 15 words what takes me over a 100 to say. 🙂 Oh well, I am a girl, you know!!
Tom Felten on May 4, 2016 at 10:04 am
Haha! Keep sharing those words gagirllive—you bless the whole ODJ community.
samgaskill on May 4, 2016 at 3:51 pm
chuckle….chuckle, me too gagirl!! I’m showing my husband this one; he’ll enjoy your sense of humor : )
samgaskill on May 4, 2016 at 12:09 pm
Lord, thank you for the blessed insight offered today. Always a teaching moment, a growing moment as gagirl and others expressed. We can be open to see our own imperfections as the Holy Spirit reveals all our specks and planks!! When I encounter people whose opinions of others lean towards criticism I have realized a couple things. These folks usually don’t understand the scope of Gods unconditional love for them. They are not walking in the freedom God offers His “growing” children. We are learning under Gods watchful care, but all are still growing! All of us fall short yet we are each loved and treasured by a Father who extends love we don’t have to earn. Foreign concept to those outside the family of God and even to some within. The woundedness we experience at the hands of men and women who know only conditional love lingers in us. God in His faithfulness, continually wraps us in His perfect love that cannot fail or bring harm. This journey of receiving this amazing gift of love takes time. So I try and see the critical spirit as a soul still hurting, growing and sadly in need of a true reflection of theirselves through their Fathers heart. We can help heal the wounds of a critical heart by extending grace as we answer back with gentle noncondeming speech. Help us to see the pain in others Lord who do not yet see the indescribable love you have for them/us even in their/our inadequacies! Help us see they cannot yet give what they have not yet fully understood and received. Blessings brothers and sisters.
gagirllive on May 4, 2016 at 1:46 pm
Amen, samgaskill. You make a great point about showing empathy towards those who criticize. Since we are all in “recovery” from brokenness of some kind and degree, we need to be extensions of God’s grace which we so freely enjoy. Help us, Lord, to seek first to understand.
Marlena Graves on May 4, 2016 at 10:08 pm
That is a great reminder, “to see the critical spirit as a soul still hurting.” I agree with that. It’s easier for me to swallow when their criticisms are aimed at another. But when criticisms are aimed at me…it takes a little bit. Bless you.