One of the most heart-wrenching scenes in the movie Braveheart occurs when William Wallace realizes his countryman, Robert the Bruce, has betrayed him by secretly aligning with the English at the Battle of Falkirk. Wallace, who has expended great effort fighting for Scotland’s freedom, is so overcome by grief that he physically collapses on the battlefield—even with English soldiers bearing down on his position.
Few things cut as deep as betrayal. Listen to David describe the treachery he once experienced at the hands of a close companion:
“It is not an enemy who taunts me—I could bear that. It is not my foes who so arrogantly insult me—I could have hidden from them. Instead, it is you—my equal, my companion and close friend. What good fellowship we once enjoyed as we walked together to the house of God” (Psalm 55:12-14).
Working through a major violation of trust is difficult. Forgiveness doesn’t mean we immediately forget what happened and trust the person who betrayed us. That person may not yet be worthy of any deep level of trust.
Even though it may be premature to trust, Christians are still called to care about the welfare of those who betray us. We’re called not to lose sight of the fact that the person still matters. They have legitimate temporary and eternal needs—even if they haven’t admitted the harm they’ve done to us. Caring will help us refrain from totally rejecting them—making it impossible for the individual to ever again regain our trust.
Caring about another person doesn’t mean we have to be gullible. It’s still our duty to exercise common sense and to consider carefully what the person says and does. We’re to use godly discernment in the way we handle betrayal—not wishful thinking.
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: Proverbs 5:1-23
More:
Caring, without immediately trusting those who betray us, is in the spirit of being “shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves” (Matthew 10:16).
Next:
How are you responding to someone who has betrayed you? What is required for true forgiveness to be requested and accepted?
tracey5tgbtg on May 20, 2012 at 10:26 am
It is true that we are hurt the most by those we are closest to. It goes both ways, however. When I read Psalm 55:12-14, I am struck that I have on occasion let down someone who was close to me and trusted me to have their back. I didn’t do what I should have done. I didn’t say what I could’ve said.
For instance, my husband is going to start working nights and I’m not at all happy about it. I feel hurt that he is going to be living on a different schedule than me and we won’t see each other much. I feel betrayed by his choice and powerless to change it.
Yet he is very hurt by my reaction. In his mind, I am betraying him by not being loving and supportive of what he feels he must do to provide for our family.
Our ultimate trust must be in God. Yes, we trust people to a point in this life, but even a parent, child, sibling or spouse can and will hurt us at times. And at some point, we will cause pain to someone who loves us.
Jesus loves us so much that He laid down his life to make a way for us to have eternal life, but He did not entrust Himself to men. John 2:24-25
awilson on May 22, 2012 at 8:20 pm
Tracy i understand your reluctance with the change in your husbands schedule. As someone who struggles with change in his own life i believe a lot of it has to do with fear of the unknown. We dont know what to expect or howwe will adapt. Pray for an open mind and patience.
winn collier on May 22, 2012 at 7:29 pm
you’re distinction between forgiveness and trust is very helpful. thanks.