The familiar darkness of clinical depression rolled over Leigh as she sat on the edge of the bed holding a revolver—tormenting voices urging her to pull the trigger. As a Christian wife and mom, she knew this picture was all wrong, but the consuming illness had clouded her mind. Apart from her husband and doctor, no one knew of the daily struggle she faced. Leigh slowly put the gun down, walked out the room, and chose to begin reaching out and sharing her story with others.
Following Elijah’s stunning victory over the prophets of Baal, Queen Jezebel threatened to kill him (1 Kings 19:1-2). Consumed by fear and disheartened at her words, he fled alone into the wilderness where he sat under a tree and begged the Lord to take his life. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life” (1 Kings 19:3-4). Elijah fell asleep, but an angel of God woke him, telling him to eat and drink. He did so, and then began walking for 40 days and nights to Mount Sinai (1 Kings 19:5-9). God met with Elijah and told him to return through the wilderness, where He would anoint the future leaders (1 Kings 19:15-16). The prophet had become depressed in his desperation and felt alone in his convictions, but God showed him that there were 7,000 others who had also remained faithful to Him (1 Kings 19:18).
When you’re at your wit’s end, spend time with God and have the courage to tell Him and others how you truly feel. Although Leigh continues to wrestle with dark thoughts, she has found comfort in other moms who also battle with depression. Together, they pray, hold each other accountable, and regularly remind themselves of God’s presence and promises. God doesn’t leave us alone.
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: 1 Samuel 10:1-27
More:
Read Deuteronomy 31:6 and consider what it reveals about God and His presence.
Next:
Do you feel isolated and alone? Have the courage to be vulnerable with God and with godly people you trust. Know that you are not alone.
twerp1 on March 24, 2016 at 5:17 am
You have to be very careful who you share you struggles of depression with. There is a condemning view in the church that if you struggle with depression you have sin in your life. I know, I had my best friend turn against me in the church when I share my struggle with depression to her. So, yes, you do need to talk with someone and have a support person in your life that you can pray with, but know who they are. Otherwise you’ll end up feeling even worse than before.
gagirllive on March 24, 2016 at 9:21 am
You are so right. Discernment is needed. I have had that hurtful experience. God has used it to teach me what NOT to do or say to someone suffering with depression. Our words need to be seasoned with much grace.
gagirllive on March 24, 2016 at 9:47 am
twerp1…I wanted to add that I’m really sorry that you had that hurtful experience with your friend. I know that was like pouring salt on a wound. I’m sure she didn’t know any better, and I hope you’ve been able to forgive her for the injury. Be blessed!
mh53 on March 24, 2016 at 12:28 pm
Twerp1. I’m sorry you have struggled with this. I really hope that your church doesn’t have a condemning view, and it was just your friend’s (not a true friend) opinion.
Two scriptures come to mind. John 9:2. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”. And then John 8. “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you, either.”
My daughter suffers from depression also. If I ever heard my church gave an opinion that I think you are stating, then that would be the last day I spent in that church!!
samgaskill on March 24, 2016 at 3:32 pm
Dear twerp. Thank you for sharing your experience. I am reminded of what Jesus said about coming not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.
Sadly there are some in the church who don’t recognize their own personal need for Jesus as Savior and Redeemer. I’m thinking that this friend who hurt you is sadly in need of much prayer for their own prideful response to your pain. Perhaps this person is alone in her condemnation and needs forgiveness. If the church as a whole has adopted this view, it would appear they are not in touch with the reality that all are in need of forgiveness and while we are called to judge between what is good and what is evil to make choices pleasing to God, we are never called to judge a man. That is for Christ alone. You brought up a very good point and something not uncommon in the church today. May God use your comments in this forum to bring an awareness of this issue to all of us; that we not only be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, but snail paced in our judgement of others. Lord bless you and renew your mind each day with fresh revelations of His goodness, His mercy and grace upon you : )
bperez on March 24, 2016 at 8:13 am
i have suffered with depression before and it is not a good place to be. i lost my dad, my business, my home, my mom. i remember a friend came over one night and said look at the birds, God takes care of them, you are more important than birds and God loves you. By the Grace of God, He pulled me out. He gave me strength and sustained me. Material things loss it’s grip. My biggest take away from all of it is my deeper personal relationship with our Lord. I gave it all to Him! He is in charge! Thank you Lord. Proverbs3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge and He will direct your paths. God bless!
samgaskill on March 24, 2016 at 3:42 pm
Sounds like you are gaining much through much loss. Treasures we cannot fathom here on earth. I feel sad for the difficulty you faced in dealing with great sadness yourself. I am happy that God is walking with you in and through these times. Your growing personal relationship with God is truly the greatest friendship, the deepest intimacy you will ever experience. And to have this connection with a God who is all powerful, loves beyond our comprehensive and treats us with perfect wisdom, mercy and grace each and everyday. What every child hopes for; to be valued and treasured, and cared for. Blessings friend on your journey. May you be filled with hope for each new day and may the peace of God be your constant companion; that you be utterly amazed by His willingness to be with you in all things. Amen.
Tom Felten on March 24, 2016 at 8:29 am
Depression can be such a difficult, sneaky thing. Some of us have battled it for a season, some of us will wrestle with it for out whole lives. I rest in the fact that God knows each one of us and understands how we’re wired. May He use our times of depression to grow us and equip us to serve and lift others up (2 Corinthians 1:4).
gagirllive on March 24, 2016 at 9:12 am
Ruth, you’ve touched on a very sticky subject. As others have commented, it can be a hard thing to navigate even among Christians. I’m so grateful that scripture is replete with individuals who suffered with depression. It is common to man for sure. There are various reasons for it…sometimes it is unconfessed sin as in the case of David. Sometimes it is extended discouragement over difficult circumstances as in Elijah’s case. Sometimes it is simply a medical reason or something unknown. It’s not up to us to judge the reason for it…just offer support and encouragement. As I read the passage referenced in your post, I was reminded that the best thing for me is knowing the presence of God. Just as the LORD took Elijah to that mountain and revealed Himself in that gentle whisper, I could hear Him whisper over my own heart, “Be still and know that I am God.” (Ps.46:10) He has always been my glory and the lifter of my head when I’ve been at my lowest. Many times He has pulled me from the pit of destruction. How I praise Him for that! Thank you, Ruth, for reminding us that we are not alone. God is here.
godlove on March 24, 2016 at 9:59 am
Thanks for this Ruth. I have my own dark thoughts which I wrestle with on an almost daily basis, not to the point of depression though I have come close a few times. Thanks to GOD Almighty I haven’t crossed the red line. I am thankful to Him for talking to me through this devotional today and for letting me know that He doesn’t leave me alone. Through all my struggles I know I can surrender everything to Him and in His time, He will free me from my struggles. Although I have failed countless times, I refuse to give up or to be discouraged, for as the LORD said to Joshua in Joshua 1:9 “Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
gagirllive on March 24, 2016 at 11:10 am
Amen, godlove. He is with us. One thing I try to do in the dark times is ask myself the question, “How can I identify with Christ through this?” When I relate my experience to what He endured (though anything I suffer will never equal His), I enter into real fellowship with Him. (Phil.3:10) When I feel abandoned and alone, I remember Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane. When I feel betrayed, I remember Jesus and how He must have felt when Judah betrayed Him. When I am treated with disdain, I remember Jesus and the Pharisees. You get the point. This draws me to Him in greater intimacy and I’m strengthened by knowing that He understands my weaknesses. (Hebrews 4:15) He’s been there…for us.
gagirllive on March 24, 2016 at 11:11 am
Judas, not Judah 🙂
godlove on March 24, 2016 at 11:38 am
Thanks gagirllive, this is very helpful. I do get the point and I will try to do that as well. I have the words of Hebrews 4:15 bookmarked in my mind. He certainly has been there for us. Thanks again and GOD Bless you; have a happy and blessed Easter.
gagirllive on March 24, 2016 at 12:49 pm
A blessed Easter to you, godlove. Please pray for “misss” below!
misss on March 24, 2016 at 11:32 am
promise I feel like ending my life right now
gagirllive on March 24, 2016 at 11:41 am
Oh, misss! I am praying for you right now. I don’t know what desperate circumstances have you feeling this way, but know that you are NOT alone! You are so loved…so precious to the Lord Jesus Christ. Please reach out to someone today. There is hope for you! Please don’t give up!
misss on March 24, 2016 at 12:08 pm
Thank you my angel. death seems more appealing than life right now. Thank you for praying for me. I’m slipping into darkness.
gagirllive on March 24, 2016 at 12:28 pm
I know you believe that, but that is a LIE from the enemy. Jesus came to give us LIFE…abundant and free. The enemy comes to KILL, STEAL, and DESTROY. Jesus came to deliver us from DARKNESS and bring us into His glorious LIGHT. Please don’t get into agreement with the enemy. Cry out to Jesus. He is reaching for you.
misss on March 24, 2016 at 1:20 pm
ok. I will. just so you know, you saved a strangers life today. If you didn’t find me and say those soothing words to me, I was going to drink all of my RX and go to sleep forever. Your words stopped that.
samgaskill on March 24, 2016 at 3:53 pm
Dearest misss, I am so thankful for this forum today. Because your honest cry for life is real and it is not falling upon deaf ears. I promise to pray for you not just for today. Just like an earthly father gives tenderness, holds closely and tightly when one of his children is sad or in despair; so does our Heavenly Father. It is His nature to love, to provide healing for a troubled heart. Even when we don’t personally experience a loving childhood, I think in our hearts we crave even what we have not received or do not understand. Perfect love, unconditional love. Oh, dear one may you experience not only a momentary relief from your despair, but a life-changing, life-long experience that will bring you lasting peace, allow you to serve God in the area of encouragement; of a life that reveals steadfast hope and trust in a living God. You remain in God’s heart always and also our hearts here in this forum today. Be quick dear Father to bring about Your perfect will in this seeking heart. AMEN!
misss on March 24, 2016 at 4:52 pm
Thank you very much. I was in complete despair this morning which led me here. I wasn’t even expecting anything when I said it, but I really meant it. I wanted to die this morning. I can’t stop crying when I read all the love and prayers that have been sent to me. I’m so thankful that I heard kind, comforting words because I really was ready to go today.
samgaskill on March 24, 2016 at 5:02 pm
I must tell you that I cried too when I “heard” your heartfelt cry. I’m always amazed and humbled when God connects His children this way. Truly you captured my heart which can only comes from our Fathers heart. He loves you so much! Please keep in touch on the forum. I will look for you and continue to pray. I’m glad you are here for your children, for your brothers and sisters in Christ. You’ve moved hearts today and I believe with all my heart that God is with you and will use your life here to bless others, and bless His heart too. It’s just the way God is. Rest well tonight and awaken with fresh hope tomorrow. Lord bless your dear children with His love too! He will pour it out through you!!
misss on March 24, 2016 at 5:46 pm
I have never met you, and I will never forget you. I cant put into words what you have done for me today. I began to question my faith amongst other things today, and I got my answer through your message. God bless your life for saving mine.
gagirllive on March 24, 2016 at 1:46 pm
ALL praise to the matchless name of Jesus, misss!!! You are responding to His love for you today. It was Him calling to you…giving you hope. Hold fast to that…and the days ahead, should you feel that darkness moving in on you again, remember that JESUS SAVES…for now and always. Celebrate Him this Easter weekend. Remember that because HE LIVES, we can face all of our tomorrows! My heart rejoices over you today, misss!!! Praise God!
misss on March 24, 2016 at 2:59 pm
Oh wow. Thank you. I felt so worthless this morning. I cant stop crying, but I didn’t give up like I wanted to. Thank you.
gagirllive on March 24, 2016 at 3:03 pm
You are worth the precious blood of Jesus! If you ever doubt that, look to the cross. It’s God’s greatest declaration of love for us. You have to believe that truth! Praying for you.
misss on March 24, 2016 at 3:05 pm
I have three kids. because of you, they get to have their mom another day.
gagirllive on March 24, 2016 at 6:56 pm
You have to end this day knowing how precious you are and that God has great purpose for your life. Look at how Jesus has reached out to you! You have so much to live for! Go forward knowing that He is your daily strength and hope no matter what you’re facing. I pray that you have a community of believers around you for support. You don’t have to go it alone, dear one. Reach out. God bless you!
“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble”. (Psalm 46:1)