My mother, so dignified and proper for her entire life, now lay in a hospice bed—held captive by debilitating age. Quivering from mini-strokes and struggling for breath, her deathly condition defied the gorgeous spring day that danced tantalizingly on the other side of the windowpane.
I had already played out this scenario numerous times in my mind. Yet all the emotional preparation in the world cannot sufficiently brace us for the stark reality of “goodbye.” Death is such an indignity, I thought. Concerned that my very presence was trampling on Mom’s acute sense of privacy, I diverted my gaze to the bird-feeding station outside the window. The feeder symbolized a simultaneous freedom and dependence that resonated with my spirit.
At that moment, a bird flitted in to help itself to some seed. Instantly, a familiar phrase popped into my mind: “Not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it” (Matthew 10:29). Our Lord said this as He gave marching orders to His disciples for a mission throughout Judea, but the principle He gave regarding the sparrows is universal. “You are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows,” He said (Matthew 10:31).
Back in the hospice room, my mom stirred. “Muti’s dead,” she announced, flashing back to the Old World parlance of her childhood to speak of her long-departed mother. “Yes,” my wife agreed. Uncertain, Mom continued. “And Joyce and Jim?” she questioned of her sister and brother. “Yes, they’re gone too,” said my wife. “But we’ll be with them soon!”
“It’s hard to wait,” Mom said quietly.
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: John 5:1-47
More:
Genesis 1:27 tells us God created human beings in His image. How might this bring dignity to death?
Next:
Some versions of God’s Word render Psalm 116:15 this way: “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.” What does God reveal in this verse? How can you view death through His eyes?
debs58 on June 26, 2011 at 7:14 am
Tim…I believe I knew your Mother and Father here in St. Helen. My husband and I had some wonderful conversations with them which led us to attending their church in West Branch. I think of them often and am glad to hear their work is being continued. I lost my beloved brother just two short months ago. He also was always very dignified and spent his last year in a nursing home totally bedridden and not able to move after a brain stem hemorrhage. The hardest thing I’ve ever done was watching him go through that. He kept his faith through it all and was a wonderful example of a Christian. He certainly helped bring me closer to God. Thank you for your posting today.
tim gustafson on June 26, 2011 at 1:46 pm
Yes, you did know my parents!
I’m so sorry to hear of your brother’s passing. This side of eternity, we suffer so often. But I’m learning that this only brings me closer to God, and longing more for the better things to come.
cooldagul on June 26, 2011 at 9:02 pm
this post for the day makes me sad 🙁 i am imagining things to come and honestly,it’s scary.
tim gustafson on June 26, 2011 at 9:51 pm
Yes, it is very sad when I think about how my mom faded. But when I think about the grace God provided for us as we went through that, I see a deep, abiding joy throughout this situation. The scary, sad times should turn us to God, because really, we have nowhere else to go. Blessings.