How do you reach out to family members who are antagonistic towards you and your beliefs?
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jessie1 on April 21, 2014 at 11:52 am
That is a very difficult thing to do. I have a brother- in- law who is an atheist. When he and my sister would join our family for a meal, he would actually giggle like a fool during the prayer. It was a small yet annoying type of behavior. But in a way it was sort of a passive-aggressive way of being antagonistic towards those of us who were believers. No one ever approached him about it, because we felt that people who display that sort of behavior will not change. I know from experience that as a rule, a person’s beliefs do not change, especially when it comes to religion. In order for change to come about, something life altering needs to happen. You can talk until you’re blue in the face and it will get you nowhere. That does not mean to hide your faith “under a bushel”. Being antagonistic the way he was showed his immaturity and a real lack of respect and character. I feel the best you can do is to avail yourself of the tools Christianity affords you and ask God to forgive his behavior. And to ask God to perhaps give the offender a little more insight into the fact that respecting someone’s beliefs is the socially correct and morally proper thing to do.
God Bless, Jessie
Tom Felten on April 23, 2014 at 10:51 am
Love your approach, Jessie. It’s truly Christlike. You’re forgiving the behavior, but you’re also continuing to pray for and winsomely share your faith with him.
tgustafs on April 21, 2014 at 2:24 pm
Jessie, we are dealing with the same thing in our family, but thankfully without the blatant disrespect. Still, it is difficult to know how to approach such a situation. We want to be careful to avoid being pontifical.
Peter had something to say about always being ready to “give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you” (1 Peter 3:15). That implies that we do not need to be aggressive in talking about our faith (although when the time is right we should do so), but we need to live in a way that shows those who are observing us that we have real hope! That makes us different, and they will want to know why.
Tom Felten on April 23, 2014 at 10:53 am
I feel your pain, tgustafs. It’s can be hard to walk that fine line of presenting God’s love and truth winsomely and becoming preachy. Praying for both you and Jessie today!
jill0828 on April 22, 2014 at 5:21 pm
I married about 25 years ago to an agnostic/atheist. I am Catholic and at the time, I still felt my decision to marry was the right one. He agreed that we would raise our children as Catholics, and he followed through on his word. But now as a more mature adult, with a closer relationship to God, I wish I had someone with whom to share that close relationship with God. We went through some difficult family times with one of our children, and my ability to survive that struggle was to pray. When there is no one to share that deep faith with, it is very lonely. I feel like I can rely on God and speak to him and turn to him when I struggle, but now I feel like my children, who are in their late teens, are beginning to see their father’s lack of faith and are questioning their own faith. I am very sad to think that when I die and hopefully, go to heaven, that the people I have loved will not join me because of their total lack of faith and unwillingness to believe. You are right that there is no convincing or talking someone into it. In fact, my husband shuts me down if I try. The decisions we make when we are younger are not, at least in this case, the decision I would make today. I wonder if anyone can comment on how to continue happily in this marriage, yet feeling very alone. There are other relationship issues as well as I have definitely taken a low priority to work.
Tom Felten on April 23, 2014 at 11:02 am
jill0828, I’m sorry you are experiencing these challenging times in your marriage. Please know that you don’t walk alone in your faith . . . there are thousands of people around the world who are experiencing the same challenges associated with an unbelieving spouse. And, praise God, we know that He is with you every moment of every day! (Hebrews 13:5). Just a few other thoughts, do you have a close friend—a woman—who is a strong believer in Jesus? You two could encourage each other in your faith. Or is there a woman at church that might be able to share a similar type of fellowship with you? I hope this helps! Praying for you.
jeremy on April 25, 2014 at 8:40 am
My Dad was an unsaved man who had NOTHING to do with fundamental Christianity. The morning after I trusted Jesus as Savior at age 19, I shared my newfound faith with my Dad. He said, “don’t ever share that with me again.” Later after I married, my wife and I would travel to Florida to visit my Dad, who was still quite antagonistic to the gospel. Even though I was now a pastor, he cared nothing for the love of Christ. Before we made another trip to visit him, my wife wisely observed, “you cannot be his pastor, but you can be his son.” When I became his son once again, believe it or not, he opened up to the gospel – at his initiation! He came to Christ the week before he died at age 91.
Now years later, the process is beginning again as we visit my unsaved brothers. I am determined to be their brother – and now they are even asking me to “ask the blessing” before meals. A start. This is working for us – perhaps won’t work for everybody. But God is faithful and has promised to honor His Word.