Q: I’m married to a divorced man. He and his ex wife divorced because she did not beleive that there is a hell. They basically were not of the same accord spiritually. I’m just finding out I may be living in adultery. What do I do now? If I divorce him I’m sinning, and if I stay am I in adultery? —Amelia
A: It’s obvious that you feel confused and caught in a bind. I can’t fully resolve this dilemma for you, but I’m fairly certain that the solution to your situation is not to divorce your current husband.
You may be wondering if you’re living in adultery with your husband because you’ve heard that divorce is only justifiable in cases of adultery or desertion by an unbeliever. There are many Christians who hold to this teaching, but not all believers agree with this position.
Jesus made it clear to a group of men—who were trying to trip Him up over the divorce issue—that God’s ideal is for marriage to last a lifetime (Matthew 19:4-6). And while divorce is often wrong and should be considered only a last resort, Jesus went on to explain that God recognized that divorce can be necessary because the hearts of people can become calloused and hard (Matthew 19:8). I believe that there are other expressions of hardheartedness besides adultery and desertion that can also be grounds for divorce.
As you continue to wrestle through this issue, you may find it helpful to note what Jesus said to the Samaritan woman who had been married to five different men. He didn’t in any way characterize her past marriages as adulterous. Instead, he referred to them as her “husbands,” recognizing each of her marriages as a legitimate union (John 4:16-18).
This online booklet contains some additional insights that should prove helpful for you: Divorce and Remarriage: What Does the Bible Teach? —Jeff Olson
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kewi on March 18, 2014 at 9:06 am
Amelia, you said you just found out that you might be sinning.
As we go through the Christian walk, our eyes are opened to things we have done in the past. We cannot do anything about the past except ask for forgiveness, but we should strive not to sin in the future. My wife and I are both divorced and remarried and have a wonderful relationship in our marriage, having God at the center of it.
sammy07 on March 30, 2014 at 7:44 pm
One can be sincerely wrong at times.It’s not okay to divorced and remarried.Especially,in this grace period.Marriage is not a contract that you can break as you wish because it is not working for you.It’s a covenant that’s binding for life as long as the other partner is alive.Roman 7:2-3. We should not forget to note that all of our Lord ministry was done between the law and grace period which i call transition.Jesus dealings with the samaritan woman was not under grace.The law was still active to the point the Lord Himself would sent some to the priest who had benefited from His healing ministry.For better or for worst.There’s no way out until one is dead.Or you would stamped as a covenant breaker.It’s sinful relationship.It doesn’t matters if it is working or not.She has to walk away,infact,she has to run.