Q: Marrying a divorced man. Is it a sin? —Lucy
A: God intended marriage to be a lifelong union between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24; Malachi 2:14-16; Mark 10:6-9). The marriage bond is to be broken only by death (Romans 7:2; 1 Corinthians 3:9).
Because of “the hardness of man’s heart,” however, Moses allowed divorce and remarriage (Deuteronomy 24:1-4; Matthew 19:8). Such tolerance of divorce does not negate the fact that God “hates divorce” (Malachi 2:16).
Jesus was once asked about the grounds for divorce (Matthew 19:3-9). In His reply, Jesus reiterated God’s ideal for a lifelong marriage (Matthew 19:4-8). Jesus also spoke about the grounds for divorce: “I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful” (Matthew 19:9; Also Matthew 5:32). If one partner in the marriage is guilty of sexual immorality, then God permits divorce for the aggrieved party. Divorce, although permitted, is not the required or ideal solution in such a situation. For reconciliation (if possible), not divorce, must always be the desire of the Christian (1 Corinthians 7:11). If a person divorces on grounds other than marital unfaithfulness and remarries, then he commits sin (adultery).
In 1 Corinthians 7:15, the Apostle Paul wrote of a second situation where God permitted divorce—the willful desertion of a Christian by a non-Christian partner.
Divorce is caused by sin. Divorce is not God’s ideal. But not all divorces are wrong as the Bible allows for divorce (and the right to remarry) on 2 grounds—sexual immorality (Matthew 19:9) and willful desertion of a believer by an unbeliever (1 Corinthians 7:15).
To marry a divorced person is not wrong in these restricted situations: First, when the divorce was based on biblical grounds as stated above (Matthew 19:9; 1 Corinthians 7:15). Second, when the former spouse has died or remarried, reconciliation becomes clearly impossible, and then remarriage is biblically legitimate in all cases. And third, the prospective marriage partner must also be a believer: “but he must belong to the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:39 NIV).
To read more about what the Bible teaches about divorce and re-marriage, please click HERE. —K.T. Sim
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luke1618 on October 2, 2012 at 9:55 pm
Is Marrying a Divorced Man Adultery…?
…So if you got married to a divorced man before you got saved should you divorce him once you realize that being married to a divorced man is a sin and God only honors the first marriage?
Yes, your sexual relationship with this man is considered adultery. You are not really married to him according to God.
…And since God never honors a marriage with a divorced man can you still get married to another man who has never been married since you screwed up the first time?
Yes
…So, according to God you can only marry once unless your spouse dies, so therefore your first wife, who you became one flesh with, is your wife for life and if you divorce her you cannot remarry unless you remarry her. She is still your wife in God’s eyes and the civil divorce did not end your marriage.
Yes
…Thank you, I will listen to Jesus.
There are so few who preach the truth.
“Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” –Jesus Christ
heythereallstar on March 22, 2016 at 11:01 am
Hey Luke1618,
I noticed that you needed some help on your reply, so you can thank me later for this. : )
You wrote:
“…So if you got married to a divorced man before you got saved should you divorce him once you realize that being married to a divorced man is a sin and God only honors the first marriage?”
*My reply is actually a reply from Jesus. Please see Matthew 5:32. Why did the man get a divorce? If it was because of the ex-wife’s sexual immorality and he was a Christian, Jesus says in Matthew 5:32, “But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” So the divorced man could remarry because he was not committing adultery. Clearly you’re not reading your Bible if you missed this point. Let’s say he wasn’t a Christian and his wife wasn’t sexual immoral. He divorces her, marries a woman (like in your example), and she later becomes a follower of Jesus. You ask the question of whether she should divorce her husband. Have you heard of forgiveness and grace? Clearly you’re not reading your Bible because it speaks of both of these things. She didn’t know the teachings of Jesus until after she had married the man. Should she ask Jesus for forgiveness or sin against Jesus by divorcing her husband? C’mon. I know you want to blame people and twist the conversation so it fits your perverse understanding of grace, but really?!?!?! Should she divorce her husband? You’re ridiculous.
You also wrote “…And since God never honors a marriage with a divorced man can you still get married to another man who has never been married since you screwed up the first time?”
*My reply is Matthew 5:32. Oh look! It’s Jesus’ words again! Please review this again because you’re putting words into God’s mouth saying that he never honors a marriage with a divorced man.
You also wrote “…So, according to God you can only marry once unless your spouse dies, so therefore your first wife, who you became one flesh with, is your wife for life and if you divorce her you cannot remarry unless you remarry her. She is still your wife in God’s eyes and the civil divorce did not end your marriage.”
*My reply is Matthew 5:32. Oh look! It’s Jesus’ words again! Please review this again because it’s clear that you haven’t read this article or the Bible.
You wrote “…Thank you, I will listen to Jesus.
There are so few who preach the truth.”
*My reply: Have you checked out Revelation 21:8? You say that you listen to Jesus but you’re lying to the whole world with your post. You claim to listen to Jesus but you’re not telling the truth because you have no concept of grace or forgiveness and you don’t even listen to Matthew 5:32. : )
velsy on October 29, 2016 at 7:20 pm
heythereallstar , you sound really smart, i hope you dont mind if i ask you a question. If 2 unbelievers get married and get divorsed, and later she starts to follow God and meets another man who is a believer, is she still responsible for her first marrige and not able to marry again? Her first marriage was in a courthouse and there was no promise given to God.
seekeroftruth on March 23, 2014 at 12:30 pm
So what about the man who is already divorced (not because he wanted it) and the wife leaves, gets pregnant by another man, then wants her husband back? The man, although divorced, considers that adultery and is not willing to re-marry the woman. Besides, by that time, he is in another relationship and considering marriage to that woman – for whom it is a first time marriage. They end up being married for 35+ years. This is a true story. It is my story.
namilicious on April 27, 2017 at 3:21 am
I am about to marry a divorced man. He was divorced because his wife cheated on him. He tried to save his first marriage but the ex wife didn’t want to save it anymore. Is it a sin to marry him?