Q: I have not been regularly attending church since I was little because of certain issues. I eventually find myself not ready to mingle into more closely with the others. I feel like I’m avoiding cell group and feeling more comfortable to attend Sunday service(whenever I do not have classes). I’m just feeling that Jesus must be really upset disappointed with my attitude and mentality. —Cass
Cass, there is no question regular fellowship with other Christians is important. We are not able to survive in this life isolating ourselves from one another. God has designed us to connect and share life so that we may encourage one another to go on even when we feel like we can’t go a step further (Hebrews 10:24-25). It’s in the process of encouraging one another in the midst of the tough times that we “carry each other’s burdens” and fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2).
With that said, let me also say that I don’t believe Jesus is “upset” with you. And I know for certain that He doesn’t condemn you. The Jesus I read of in the Bible and have come to personally know likely feels sad for you, that you don’t feel comfortable experiencing fellowship with other Christians. Jesus accepts you where you are, but He doesn’t want you to stay there. He wants you to be honest about why you don’t feel comfortable.
From the little you shared, it sounds like you are the kind of independent person who may get a lot of things done, but who has been conditioned to believe that you don’t really need people to be close to you. This is not true, but it may likely be why you keep your distance. It’s probably why you don’t feel like getting to know others at church and bolt for the door once the service is over. Talking to people feels too scary and vulnerable.
The truth is, however, that the thing that scares you the most is where, humanly speaking, you will find your greatest joy and comfort in this life. I pray that you will push through your fears and join a cell (small) group at church. That may be a great place to take the risk and share your reservations about letting people into your life and the story that’s behind it. Opening and becoming vulnerable with others may be one of the most courageous things you will ever do. —Jeff Olson
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GChoo on April 5, 2012 at 9:26 am
I used to think and felt the same in my younger days. I must say i was quite critical about other christians and probably felt abit self righteous. I thought i would be better off reading the bible on my own instead of joining cell group and just attending Sunday worship now and then woud be good enough.
Over the years, i have realised it wasn’t enough. Along the way i made many mistakes knowingly or unknowingly because i had interpreted the scriptures according to my worldly moral standards and was not regularly devoted to my time with God.
I must say, being in a fellowship and involvement in the church ministry doesn’t mean we will avoid conflict. Even though we are christians, we are all human and fallen. Only when we want to obey God’s teaching and learn to live peacefully and wisely with one another that we can overcome conflicts when it arise within the church or outwith. It is never easy but we have God to guide and see us through our difficulties when we bring them up to Him. Through cell group, we study God’s Word and share what God has done in our lives, be encouraged and to encourage, pray for others and be prayed for. Our God is a God of relationship and that is what He wants to see us doing. Mind you, i am still learning and working at it. We are all vunerable but we have a GREAT AND MIGHTY GOD TO LOVE AND PROTECT US. You know what? God has never forsaken me even though i had strayed away from Him in the past. KNOW THAT HE IS GRACIOUS AND MERCIFUL. HALLELUJAH!
tom felten on April 5, 2012 at 2:12 pm
Thanks so much for sharing, CHoo. Your testimony is inspiring! It’s so true that we may find less conflict in isolation, but we’ll never find joy and spiritual transformation. We need one another in the Body of Christ!
vkovervold on April 6, 2012 at 9:15 am
Does not attending church jeopardize my salvation?
Dave on April 8, 2012 at 7:26 pm
Only you can jeopardize your salvation by walking away from the principles established in God’s word. Not attending church tends to make it harder to stay the course when the difficult times come and the reality is that they come to all of us. The bible tells us not to forsake the fellowship with the brethen which means that whether at church or at another place, you need to fellowship with believers. The principle of two or more is based on God’s scripture: where two or more are gathered there am I in the midst of them; it is critical that we learn that there is greater strength when two or more of us come together in one accord to pray and seek God’s direction. I’ve learned that this principle applies to all aspects of life, when two or more are gathered there is more wisdom and more opportunity for success. Whether at church or in a home bible group, there is value in that fellowship. Seek a place, preferably a church, to fellowship with others of like mind and pursue God’s plan for you life. God Bless! Dave Hernandez