The speaker at our conference asked us to gather in groups of three with people we had never met. He told us to each take one minute to tell the others about ourselves and share the story of one person we wanted God to bless. One man said he wanted God to bless his wife who was battling cancer while she cared for her invalid mother. Another praised God for healing his wife’s cancer but said he was concerned for his adult son who was far from God.
If this had been a typical session, we would have left as we came in—as strangers. But because the speaker asked us to share something personal, we made an immediate and intense connection.
I left the session wondering what other stories are out there. Most people are struggling with something significant while also rejoicing about something else. Everyone needs prayer—either to celebrate God’s goodness or to seek God’s grace. It isn’t wise for us to walk up to strangers and demand that they open up, but we can be aware that each person has unexpressed yearnings. May we learn how to “share [these] burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2).
One way to prepare to share others’ burdens is to humbly put them first, reflecting Jesus’ humility. Rather than trying to impress others with our own stories or witty comments, may we ask questions and then really listen to what they have to say (Philippians 2:3; James 1:19). If they’re hesitant to share, may we remain “patient with everyone,” permitting each to open up at their own pace (1 Thessalonians 5:14-15).
As we actively seek to hear the stories of others, we can grow to truly love and care for them—relying on God to help us imitate His ways.
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: 1 Samuel 9:1-21
More:
Read Job 16:1-22 and consider what you should do and what you should avoid when comforting and listening to someone.
Next:
Who needs you to listen to them? Make time for them today. How does sharing our stories with one another help us advance Jesus’ kingdom?
Gary Shultz on March 23, 2017 at 6:00 am
Hi Mike: You present a good, but sometimes wrenching service we can engage in, that’s listening. We/ I don’t always do as good as I should with listening, yes, I’m a fixer if someone unfolds their story, I ready my first-aid kit. Two days ago I had lunch with a man that recently lost his best friend. Men are funny at times as he tried to unfold his feelings without letting out too much, at one time, as to be overcome with emotion. Actually it was not too hard to listen and just absorb his grief and story. We need to learn more about good listening, and maybe allowing the time to do it. Although Job’s friends were a point of pain and aggravation, they did do something not seen today, man, did they spend time. What would it had been like if I could have stayed and maybe spent the next meal and the evening with that man? We don’t even think that far outside the box. At a time I felt appropriate, I shared the most important thing in my life was a relationship with Christ. So we do what we can, but should we be doing better? Thanks Mike
Mike Wittmer on March 23, 2017 at 9:04 am
Thank you for this story, Gary. I am beginning to realize that friends want me to listen much more than they want me to speak. But I want to speak! 🙂 You were the ears of God to your friend.
hsnpoor on March 24, 2017 at 1:21 am
I know the feeling, Mike, and it’s not a good one when you really think about it.. Good reminder that God gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth.
hsnpoor on March 24, 2017 at 1:17 am
Gary, that was rich. Don’t know about anybody else, but I’m convicted. For sure, we do need to be doing better. Busy, needs to stop being a reasonable and acceptable excuse for ministering to the hurting people God places in the landscape of our lives. What if Jesus felt that way about us?
hsnpoor on March 24, 2017 at 1:22 am
That should be “not” ministering….
corgimom on March 23, 2017 at 6:06 am
Thank you for this devotion, Mike. One of the things I am trying to learn is to be more concerned and empathetic toward others and less self-absorbed. It’s difficult for some of us! But Christ calls us to love others as ourselves. In response to the “MORE” section, several things I have learned — ask many questions, listen to others, avoid making comparisons. It is so annoying to have someone ask you about a situation in your life, for example, “How’s your sister with the illness doing?” Then as soon as you answer they begin to tell you about someone else they know with the same thing, or how they overcame an illness — this diminishes their caring for you and leaves you feeling they are not really interested in YOU. Sometimes when I am inquiring about others the best response is “That must be very difficult for you,” or “I’m so sorry you’re going through that,” followed by a promise to pray about their situation, perhaps praying right then. Father in heaven, let me listen, really listen, to those around me today and in doing so, help to bear their burdens and rejoice in their joys. Amen.
Mike Wittmer on March 23, 2017 at 9:07 am
These are helpful tips for active listening, corgimom. I will try to implement them. Another that I heard was never start a sentence with “At least….” There is no way to end that without minimizing their feelings.
gagirllive on March 23, 2017 at 9:43 am
I can really identify with your opening statements, corgimom. When we carry great pain ourselves, it’s so easy to become self-absorbed. I’m on constant guard against it. We can make our case an idol, if we’re not careful. I’m so thankful that scripture reminds us to look outside ourselves. His word is Truth. When we refresh others, we are often refreshed as well. Thanks for your wise input today. 🙂
Monica Brands on March 23, 2017 at 2:53 pm
Wise reminders, corgimom, thank you so much for sharing. I so agree with you – empathy is so much more powerful than downplaying what someone is going through or thinking we’re being helpful by giving unasked for advice. I think people do that hoping it will comfort, but it ends up feeling like your story and experiences aren’t being honored but explained away.
Gary Shultz on March 23, 2017 at 6:12 am
Corgimom, thanks for sharing some really good stuff.
Tom Felten on March 23, 2017 at 7:43 am
Thanks for this word, Mike. It’s a reminder to me to listen better and love more. I’m so grateful for people I know and read about who do this well . . . truly reflecting the heart of God!
gagirllive on March 23, 2017 at 7:54 am
This is wonderful, Mike. Last night in my small group we were talking about this. We were specifically addressing the last question you asked in the “Next” section about advancing the kingdom. Every week we hold each other accountable about sharing our faith. We were discussing how we can recognize the “open doors” of opportunities that God gives us when we’re talking with people. I shared something that God had shown me—that open doors often come to us when people share needs and concerns—when they share their stories, even in small bits. As we ask the Holy Spirit to help us to be good listeners and sensitive to what others are sharing with us, it becomes an opportunity to advance the kingdom—to share the love and compassion of Christ and offer them the hope that we have found in the gospel. But first we earn the right by being an empathetic listener—showing them that their story matters…to you, and more importantly, to God. For now, His kingdom is within us, and we must take it to the world as we lovingly and compassionately respond to the expressed needs that come to us as people share their stories. Appreciate this wisdom from you, Mike. Such a blessing to the community. Grace and peace today, sojourners.
Mike Wittmer on March 23, 2017 at 9:09 am
Amen, gagirllive. I think you’re right on that we need to earn the right to speak, and we do that by empathetic listening. I wonder if this is an important way the world will know us by our love? It may be difficult to criticize people who are empathetically listening to you.
envirotact on March 23, 2017 at 10:13 am
On our way to our foreclosure trial, we stopped at the post office. She asked how we were – which is obvious. We asked her, “how are you doing”? The place she’s worked for many years is closing and she’ll be out of a job soon. She’s knocked on a few doors, and nothing so far. I’m not sure about her faith specifically, but I do know everyone is hurting some way or another.
crossman61 on March 23, 2017 at 11:06 am
Thank you Mike for this very important word today . And very good comments also !! I really enjoy hearing stories from others , especially a Testimony that gives God The Glory. envirotact I read your request for prayer yesterday and was saddened what you and your husband are going through right now , I prayed for you both yesterday , and am confident somehow , someway you will be able to give God The Glory for this VERY Difficult time you are going through . We do all have a story to tell , some are not so bad as others , and some are Very Much worse than others .
crossman61 on March 23, 2017 at 11:14 am
The older I get the more I have come to understand Communication . The biggest and most important part of Communication is being a good listener . Making sure we keep the interest mainly on the story teller , if we can control our urge to speak , The interest stays on the one telling the story. Being slow to speak , and quick to listen is wise . Its a good way to learn something we might have missed if it becomes more about ourselves. Thanks Mike !!
Mike Wittmer on March 23, 2017 at 12:14 pm
This seems right, crossman61. Another benefit is that if we stop talking long enough to listen to others, we might just learn something. As I have from today’s comments.
kevinj56 on March 23, 2017 at 12:56 pm
Hi Mike; thanks for the reminder to listen as a practical outworking of this passage. Christ’s humility and his servant heartedness are a great challenge to us all. I also agree with the comment about sharing our story – and there’s a good source of stories from around the world on the ministry site which are encouraging and challenging to look at.:
https://ourdailybread.org/story/
Monica Brands on March 23, 2017 at 2:46 pm
Really beautiful devotional, Mike, thanks for sharing. In the intentional living house I’m a part of, each year we share our stories with each other, which is always painfully vulnerable, because it’s nearly impossible to honestly talk about your story without talking about the hard stuff, but the practice always brings us much closer together and to a place of greater understanding and empathy. I have this dream of more and more faith communities learning the power of vulnerability and transparency such as you described so we can truly model what it means to be the family of God.