Reasons? He has many. As he passes several churches during his drive to the park for his Sunday run, he enjoys his solitude. In fact, he reflects on how he can connect with God just as easily—if not more so—on his own. But deep layers of pain, a multitude of rehearsed excuses, and complicated explanations mask a simple reality: Church has not been a safe place for him.
Some people, when offended, “sharpen their tongues like swords and aim their bitter words like arrows” (Psalm 64:3). But just as dangerous are those who attempt to remedy festering wounds with relational distance (Proverbs 18:19). Reaching those disconnected from the church requires an awareness of at least two exit doors: buried conflict and unmet expectations.
Unity with other believers in Jesus doesn’t mean conformity, and leaving conflict unaddressed only guarantees friction. Likewise, requiring agreement on nonessentials of the faith is nothing more than self-centered thinking, especially for a kingdom made of many tribes and many nations (Micah 4:2).
Equally as destructive is the mindset that says to the church, “You are here for me.” A temptation for those both inside and outside the church walls, this view can lead to cliques and consumer-like engagement. Instead, we’re called to “not neglect our meeting together . . . but encourage one another” (Hebrews 10:25).
God came close to us that we might connect with Him and to those He holds dear: His bride, the church (Hebrews 10:23-24). Ultimately, we can’t blame others if we choose distance. May we participate in God’s “life-giving way” as we follow the leading of the Holy Spirit—drawing close to Him and to other believers in Jesus (Hebrews 10:20,22,25).
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: Mark 7:1-37
More:
Read 1 Corinthians 3:4-17 and consider what this passage teaches us about critical mindsets the enemy uses to separate the body of Christ.
Next:
What expectations do you have of fellow church members when it comes to meeting your needs? How can leaving conflict unaddressed weaken the foundation of your relationships with other believers?
david 1949 on July 20, 2016 at 3:39 am
todays reading Psalm27 verse 1 THE LORD IS MY LIGHT AND SALVATION. After reading this and having gone through a very difficult time these words came to me I believe from god you must make up your own mind.
You will face trouble and trials as Jesus Christ my son did. He even knew what was going to happen, he faced it may be not with joy, for who knowing what was about to happen would not try to escape from such darkness.
When he lost his life for me and you, he gained eternal life with me free from all pain and suffering. The days may be dark but there is the light my light at the end of the tunnel and salvation awaits all those who keep focused on it. KEEP LOOKING INTO THAT LIGHT MY SON.
While the grammar and punctuation may not be perfect I believe he uses language in such a way that is personal to you. Please read and let me know your reaction. David Bairnsfather.
hsnpoor on July 20, 2016 at 11:26 am
Today’s reading Ps. 27? Am I missing something?
ng on July 21, 2016 at 7:37 am
Hi David
Psalm 27 was the reading for Our Daily Bread.
Gary Shultz on July 20, 2016 at 7:06 am
David, I don’t know if this is open for anyone; however, me thinks you posted at the wrong place. This is a somewhat cool thing in relation to the subject here at ODJ. Sometimes we must seek to understand others, we may not get there, but to be gentle and open to others. Sometimes peoples actions and comments seem very misplaced, but we don’t know where they are coming from, we often just recoil. In today’s world I am very much with what I think Regina is saying, we need each other we need to be a body to live as Christ intended. It is not a “what have you done for me lately” organization, it’s and organization Christ wishes to breathe life into and have that spread to others. Jesus also said that our love for one another will be a testimony to the world. It also requires that we check critical attitudes, working with others always takes patience and should bring us to a more mature place. Welcome to ODJ David, thanks Regina
hsnpoor on July 20, 2016 at 11:58 am
Ahhh, wish I had looked at your comment, Gary, before responding to David’s. I get up early, but I’m definitely not a morning person. Regina’s devotion today is so timely and true! It’s something that has been pulling at me recently, on a number of levels. Earlier this year, I was struggling with my church membership because of some “practices” that weren’t being practiced there that I thought were not optional (altar calls) and a growing unease that messages were becoming less Jesus focused and more about the mechanics of impacting the communities in which we live. I shared my concerns with my Pastor and there was quite a give & take, back & forth, and long and short of it is, I’m still there. Still not seeing the altar calls I’d like to see, but the messages have taken a decidedly Jesus focused turn. It’s been a concern also because of some comments made in the ODB forum recently. I love what you’ve said about the “what have you done for me lately” issue, as well. Although, I wouldn’t specifically call my church one that encourages that kind of thinking, it is definitely a “seeker sensitive” church and I think that “sensitivity” can easily breed that kind of attitude on the part of seekers who want to be persuaded, but are not-yet actually believers and we need to have an infrastructure in place to make sure these people are identified and ministered to expediently. Bottom-line, the church is not so much an organization as it is a living, breathing organism by which Jesus is introduced to the world from various & varied platforms. It’s so important in the life of a believer, yet so many believers are increasingly seeing it as optional to their faith. I’m so full of words lately….
gagirllive on July 20, 2016 at 7:26 am
Hi, Regina. You know, I am meeting more and more professing Christians who’ve dropped out of the church scene. And like you’ve stated here, they are under the deception that they can connect with God in a meaningful and healthy way without connecting with His Body. I do try to be sensitive to them regarding the reason for their disconnect, especially if it involves “deep” hurt, conflict, or unmet expectations. I emphasize “deep” though because what I often find are excuses that are pretty shallow. Some people use the slightest offense as a cover to keep themselves from committing and submitting to the life of a disciple of Christ. For people like that, I have asked these questions: “Would you be okay with your hand or any part of your body being cut off and separated from the rest of you? Have you considered what would happen to that member AND the rest of your body because of the detachment?” No one is able to hang on to their excuses after those questions are answered honestly. I remind them that they NEED and ARE NEEDED in the Body of Christ. On a personal note, I’ve also had to remind myself of that truth from time to time. Hurts, conflicts, and just a general feeling of dissatisfaction within the church have sometimes tempted me to retreat. Asking myself soul-searching questions about my own attitude and contribution to making things better as well as laying it all out before Jesus leads me to a quick turn around. I remind myself that we are His Bride and imagine the hurt He feels when I am negative toward Her (which includes me). He loves His Bride, and there are times I have just flat-out prayed “Lord, help me love your Bride, Your Church the way You do.” That’s a tall order. We’re talking faithfully, sacrificially, unconditionally, unselfishly, affectionately, and so much more. We can’t get around the fact that Christ has made us a forever family, and we need to stay together, love each other, and be about our Father’s business of inviting others to join the family. Thank you, Regina, for this much needed exhortation today. Grace and peace to all. (Sorry I went extra long today. I’m really trying to watch that!)
hsnpoor on July 20, 2016 at 12:24 pm
Wow! I’d say we’re pretty much on the same page (surprise, surprise) and probably have some similar church experiences. I know you won’t mind if I appropriate your missing part of the body questions to try to help someone see the import of their decision to separate from the church because of “whatever”. When you think about it, that is what animals do when they’re injured or hurt; i.e., slink off somewhere to nurse their wounds alone. God created us higher than animals and to be in community, especially as believers. We should never take our hurts and slink off to the corner, shutting others out and ourselves in a cage of our own making.
gagirllive on July 20, 2016 at 12:29 pm
I will only say “Amen” since I have gone crazy with too many posts here today. Zip! 🙂
hsnpoor on July 20, 2016 at 3:26 pm
I respect whatever you want to do, but, personally I love it when you “go crazy” because you always have something quite sane, instructive and on-point to say…..
Tom Felten on July 20, 2016 at 8:15 am
Regina, the reality is that the members of the Body of Christ—all those who believe in Him and have received salvation—are sinners saved by grace. It’s so helpful for me to keep this in mind when I struggle with the Church or with challenges within our local fellowship of believers. We can feel it might be best to run away or escape into isolation, but this is actually spiritually devastating for both us and others. For we need to exercise the spiritual gifts that we’ve been given, and as we do the Body of Christ grows in strength, beauty, and effectiveness. We sharpen and encourage one another. How are we using our spiritual gifts today to bless other believers in Jesus and—ultimately—all people?
ecclesiastes on July 20, 2016 at 8:16 am
In a way the Sunday runner in this piece is right. He will find God in the fields, flowers, birds and other people he meets on his run. But Hebrews 10:25 hits the spot. A friend put it to me this way: ” A spark will not last for long, it needs to be renewed in the fire” In the same way we need the fellowship of other Christians for our faith to grow and flourish. That said, in discussing the purpose of the Letter to the Hebrews William Neill’s commentary reads: “We may be thankful to him, ( the author of the Letter), for putting a question mark against our attachment to the deep rooted traditions of our own particular brand of churchmanship. He would ask us whether we,like the small group of Jewish Christians in Rome, are not more concerned to discuss the peripheral nicieties of faith and order, rather than grapple with the vast problem of a Christless world.”. I think there is much truth in those words. Are we welcoming enough to those who are taking their first tentative steps into the fellowship of our church or do we frighten them away? Do we reach out to them, welcome them, help them to follow the service if they need it, or do we get on with chatting to our friends whom we have not seen for a week or two? Oh and before we go we must have a word with that nice young preacher. Are our services relevant to them? And those who have drifted away why have they done so? Has anyone bothered to find out? Have you? Why not?
gagirllive on July 20, 2016 at 8:41 am
I like your comments, ecclesiastes. We really do need to care for those who have become disillusioned with the Church. However, people will find a plethora of excuses—some valid and some not—to stay disconnected. The bottom line is what place does Christ hold in our hearts? If He is truly exalted in our lives, we have no excuses to disobey His design and purposes. We belong to Him and we belong to one another. We need to gently and lovingly encourage the runaways back into the fold and point them to keep their eyes on our Great Shepherd, not other sheep.
ecclesiastes on July 20, 2016 at 10:30 am
The question I think is two fold. Firstly we do not know why people do not attend anymore simply because no one has asked them. In fact we probably don’t realize that they are no longer there because we never noticed them in the first place. Nobody made a point of saying “Hello. Are you OK? Come and sit with me.” We need to be welcoming but also to keep in touch with our fellows.
The second question is this. If your parish has around say 10,000 or even 5000 inhabitants are you happy that your church attracts one hundred of them to your Sunday services? Yes, I know some will attend other Christian denomination churches but what are you/we doing about the other 4900? But then perhaps it is someone else’s problem and not ours – it often is.
gagirllive on July 20, 2016 at 10:54 am
Again, you’ve made some good points here, and I’m sure they find their reality in far too many fellowships…but not all. We cannot indict all fellowships with not being attentive enough to the flock or being slack in reaching the lost. Even in our dysfunction and weakness, Christ is using His people by the power of the Holy Ghost to build His church. The dropouts that I personally talk to have given me excuses that just don’t hold up. Oftentimes I discern that they are not a part of a fellowship because they just don’t want to be held accountable or brought under conviction about the self-life they want to live and still call themselves disciples of Christ. It’s amazing to me how people will readily join themselves to a number of organizations that offer no real fellowship to them yet they remain committed, and at the same time they reach for any excuse to not join themselves to a fellowship of believers. Yes, we hold the responsibility of caring for, encouraging, and nurturing our fellow sheep, but each individual is also responsible to stay close to the Shepherd, and thus, within the fold. There are two sides to this coin, don’t you think, my friend?
gagirllive on July 20, 2016 at 11:25 am
And another thing…:) I belong to a pretty large church and, like most large churches, we have small groups. It just irks me to hear people say they don’t feel connected when all they do is come on Sunday morning and make no effort to get plugged in with a small group or ministry. Everyone goes through several classes before they are able to join our church. They are given every available opportunity to see where and how they fit into the fellowship. So when I hear their complaints I don’t understand. Of course, they feel disconnected! These are the same people who drop out and grumble that no one spoke to them last Sunday. It’s all about them…what they can get instead of what they can give to the Body. In a church that size, I don’t know who is a visitor or not, so I try to love on all the people around me, but I’m sure I overlook someone. Point is, we need to be sensitive and take note of those who meed an extra tug, but people also need to make the effort to engage before they say the church didn’t reach out to them. This really is not a rant, but I am tired of the excuses that people make. Jesus hung, bled, and died on a cross for us and we have the gall to make lame excuses for not committing to a church?
sandy229 on July 20, 2016 at 12:29 pm
All this is true, and some people think it’s all about them. I haven’t been able to go to church since I was in the hospital, but when I was going, I went to the small group studies, and I really enjoyed greeting the people every week. Now all these people are praying for me and sending me cards and a lot of well wishes. One of the Pastors tells me that everyone is always asking about me. It’s so good to hear, but nothing can take the place of being with the body of Christ on Sunday morning’s and hearing from the Praise and Worship team. I miss the Pastor’s messages. I miss all the hugggs from everyone. When I greeted people, it made it easier to get to know everyone, and I could usually tell if someone new was there and I could make sure they felt welcome. Of course everyone in our church is so friendly, they are always making everyone feel welcome. We have a pretty small church which makes this a lot easier to see when someone new is there, and especially during the summer, they only have 1 service instead of 2. I would say there are about 200 people, but we are still growing!
hsnpoor on July 20, 2016 at 1:11 pm
Preach, GF! I’m with you on this on all points. Ecclesiastes, I also hear your heart and understand what you’re saying. But, in response, mine is that God sees all and knows all and I personally depend on Him to prick the spirits of the right people to connect with and minister to those floundering in our midst. Just like in a corporate environment, when you put the wrong people in positions they’re not qualified for, you got a mess on your hands. The problem may be a corporate problem, but the ministry is personal. Accordingly, sometimes we have a tendency to go instead of waiting to be called…..if you get my drift. It seems simple, but where people are involved, it NEVER is as simple as it may seem.
alexaoj on July 20, 2016 at 10:20 am
Sis. Regina, thanks. for reminding me that ths Christian life is a marathon and not a sprint. Joining other believers in worship and praises and embracing God’s promises that one day we will all stand before Him. We might as well get along as best we can in the empowerment of the Eternal Spirit that lives in all of us as believers. Jesus is our perfect example of strength under all He face for us. Paul said in Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ…..” How quickly we seem to forgot the examples and precious promises in the word when we encounter difficulties in this race, especially in the Body of Christ. Help us Lord, with godly patience, love and tolerance for each other in the church, so that the unbelieving world will see you.
youssef1777 on July 20, 2016 at 10:54 am
TRUST IN GOD AND HAVE FAITH IN HIM NO MATTER WE FACE HE WILL HELP AND GIVE US PEACE , COMFORT AND VICTORY IN OUR LIFE . GOD BLESS ALL .AMEN
crossman61 on July 20, 2016 at 11:45 am
This Is a very important topic this morning . I must confess I am guilty of Church hopping . I do believe we as Christians need fellowship to help us in times of trouble and to help us grow . I have a few friends that are like the runner on Sunday mornings . I can understand where they are coming from . Church or Religion ,Preacher , Pastor , Priest , Reverend , or Minister will not save us. Only Jesus Christ !! I am careful where I am putting my trust into . If we put too much trust in man , or anything made by human hands , It can and will fail . I know this because I am one .Yeah the truth does hurt !! I ask those friends what would this world be like if there were no Churches or Religions . I believe we would be much worse off !! Would we go into a bar room to hear Gods Word ? I tried that once , and thought I was going to be physically attacked . Just by mentioning my Faith . So I stand with most on this forum we do need Churches . I know we cant find the perfect Church . But we should keep striving to be the change that we want to see . Thank You Regina
gagirllive on July 20, 2016 at 12:06 pm
I appreciate your honesty here, crossman61…and I will pray that you find a place to “land”. There is a great book by Joshua Harris called, Stop Dating the Church (and Fall in Love with the Family of God). I highly recommend it. To address some of what you’ve said, there’s not a thing wrong in seeking out times of solitude and refreshment. Jesus did. We do often feel His presence as we connect with His beautiful creation, but the truth is we are born again into a family where we are to find relationship, accountability, and usefulness in the Kingdom. We are His hands and feet and every other part that makes up a body. We function together. It’s not optional. The Church is God’s idea and He commands us to live out His purposes through the Body. Hope you find a local fellowship where you can do that, friend.
hsnpoor on July 20, 2016 at 1:22 pm
Gary too, if I could add my 2-cents, I don’t think it’s a matter of putting too much or too little trust in man or manmade things, but putting ANY trust in man without an expectation of failure is foolhardy, in my opinion, for exactly the reason you stated…because I know for a fact that I am not trustworthy. Given the right set of circumstances, I will fail the test. The problem is that too many of us trust the chairs we’re sitting on more than the ever faithful, trustworthy God who created us! Accordingly, if I ever were to find the PERFECT CHURCH, it would lose it’s perfection the moment I crossed the threshold. I don’t really worry about that too much because I know that I know that I know I know that there is no such thing as a perfect church on this side of glory….
godlove on July 20, 2016 at 12:29 pm
Regina, I think in order to fully relish our belonging to the Body of Christ we ought to be really more understanding with one another. It’s all about tolerance and mutual acceptance, and respecting our differences. I try hard not to have lofty expectations of fellow brothers and sisters in the church, after all we each have our short-comings, so why focus on the speck in the other’s eye and ignore the log in mine. The church may not be perfect but that is to be expected as it is made up of poor sinners and we’re all in need of His saving Grace. It’s really important that we encourage one another and have special concern for those who are struggling with the temptation to slide away. Thanks Regina, very thought-provoking post.
hsnpoor on July 20, 2016 at 1:28 pm
Beautiful, incisive and timely devotion, Regina! Thank you for your insights and especially the very on-point scriptural references (the Micah scripture, in particular, spoke to my heart). Many blessings to you!
crossman61 on July 20, 2016 at 1:44 pm
I’m sorry I kind of left out something in my post , I meant that I am guilty of Church hopping in the past . I have been attending the same Church for over 5 years now . It is a small Church with about 100 members . I used to attend a Church with about 1000 members , and sung in the Choir . That is something I never thought I would do. I still drop in to visit there once in a while . Its about a 40 minute drive , compared to the 10 minute drive I have now . Thank you for the comments they are insightful !!
hsnpoor on July 20, 2016 at 3:33 pm
I think that omission from your 1st post was Holy Spirit designed because there probably is or will be someone who reads today’s comments who really needed to hear what GG had to say in reply to your 1st post. That was great information shared….