I received an email from a close friend with the subject line “I’m too old for this!” His email told of his recent ordeal riding a roller coaster with his 12-year-old son. He said that the ride lasted only a minute, but it was miserable. He didn’t get physically sick, but he also didn’t want to eat for the rest of the day.
After reflecting on his harrowing experience, he said his new motto is: “Friends don’t let friends (over 40 years old) ride roller coasters.”
My friend’s new motto reminded me of the old familiar proverb that many over the age of 40 likely first read from the pages of the King James Version of the Bible: “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:6). In other words, stinging words from a friend can be trusted.
True friends will tell us something that’s difficult for us to hear because they’re concerned that we’re about to hurt ourselves or others. In speaking the truth, they “wound” us, not to cruelly hurt but to help.
Wounding words are spoken to sound a warning. They’re given in the hopes that it will keep us from a more tragic outcome. I for one have personally benefitted from a friend sharing such words with my father when I was a young boy. He said to my dad, “Kenny, you’ve already missed out on the lives of your two oldest boys. Don’t make the same mistake with your two youngest sons.” Thankfully, my dad wasn’t offended by his friend. He took the wounding words to heart and became thoroughly involved in his sons’ lives.
It’s never easy to receive such words (or to say them). But true friends “speak the truth in love” because they care (Ephesians 4:15). May we follow God’s lead by speaking hard words that lead to life!
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: Luke 2:21-39
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Read Proverbs 28:23 to see what people truly appreciate.
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How might God be leading you to “wound” a friend in order to help? What does it mean to “speak the truth in love”?
Gary Shultz on June 11, 2016 at 3:58 am
Hi Jeff, “speaking the truth in love” is always a good thing. We often talk about getting someones attention with a 2X4. And I think you understand and would agree that a friend will also know how to deliver the wound with more point, than pain. It is a wonderful thing to get different perspectives and to allow the benefit of another life to be transferred to us. It is also a gift from God; He sends word our way sometimes by someone close. It is, after all, a little what is done here at ODJ. The whole resolve to the matter is, if there is love and concern delivered with the sting to allow better growth. Bring the wood -better the friend- begin the process of growth and blessing. Thanks Jeff, you probably have a chunk of wood just my size……. Fish’n good?
gagirllive on June 11, 2016 at 10:25 am
Hi, Jeff. This is a subject that needs much thought. I know to do this God’s way requires a lot of prayer and wisdom. Jesus is the only One who knew how to perfectly balance truth and grace. It seems that I often lean to one side or the other, but on the occasions that I get it right, something beautiful happens. I also know that the heart has to be right to be the recipient of loving correction. I pray often that I will receive graciously the wounds of a friend. It takes humility to give as well as receive the truth about ourselves. Thanks for bringing this insight to us today, Jeff. A blessed weekend to you and all the ODJ family!
daughterdeb on June 11, 2016 at 2:53 pm
Thank you Jeff for this message today. After slipping the letter I’ve been needing to send into the envelope this helps alleviate the guilt the enemy is piling on me. Suffice it to say one person I love is continuing to cripple/enable someone else I love to the point my heart is broken. It truly is to the detriment of the latter. A few weeks ago a quote appeared in Our Daily Bread (John Chrysostom; on enjoying praise) that describes the “giver” in this situation. I printed the entire devotion yet felt guilty about sending. However when I consider all the Lord has accomplished in me through His sometimes harsh yet, oh so to my benefit rebukes, I will have it in the mail Monday. A life may depend on it. Thank you for this reminder. God bless you.
Marlena Graves on June 11, 2016 at 9:38 pm
I too needed this. I had to be firm with a friend. This friend didn’t receive it well at this time, but I am praying God will work it out. I couldn’t stand by and say nothing. I would have been guilty of wrongdoing. It’s no fun though when it’s not well received.
daughterdeb on June 12, 2016 at 12:43 am
Once again God’s timing amazes me. Before heading to bed I glanced at the front page of my weekly Community paper. It tells of the success of a car show honoring Steve McQueen/benefiting Boys Republic. Praise God for those who have the ability to stand strong when it is needed. What a difference it makes in so many lives. I will pray for you and your friend.