In an interview on a popular website, an author was asked about her divorce and remarriage. The divorce had devastated her and her ex-husband, she said. She had believed marriage was a lifelong commitment and still did, and she had sought pastoral guidance as to whether remarriage to her new husband was right. I finished the article and scrolled down to the comments section.
Stones were hurled at the author from every direction. “The Bible says divorce is a sin,” people said. “Remarriage makes her an adulterer.” “She clearly hasn’t repented.” One zealous individual scanned the web for everything he could find on the author, and he belittled her life and work.
“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged,” Jesus said. “For you will be treated as you treat others” (Matthew 7:1-2). Jesus wasn’t saying we shouldn’t discern right and wrong or speak out when necessary. He was teaching against a critical, graceless spirit that claims the right to condemn. Such a right isn’t ours.
God is the only perfect judge of a person. We don’t know all the facts and can’t read people’s minds, so we can’t judge someone’s actions or motives from one article. Even if we could, we should never condemn them, because we too are sinners and could be tempted by the same sin (Matthew 7:3-4). The purpose of biblical correction isn’t condemnation but guidance back to the right path (Galatians 6:1).
Yes, we are to correct other believers in Jesus. But first, we need to check our own lives (Matthew 7:5). Also, we should know the person well and have that person’s permission to speak to him or her in truth and love—gently seeking that person’s restoration in Jesus. That will reflect God’s loving heart.
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: Genesis 9:1-17
More:
Read James 4:11-12 and consider what it means to “criticize and judge” another person wrongfully.
Next:
When are you tempted to be critical of someone? How can you discern right and wrong without becoming judgmental?
Angie E. on January 7, 2016 at 1:29 am
Well when I divorced too, a well meaning Christian told me never to remarry.i knew better as I was sure about the fact that when I feel confident to handle a new relationship I would be open to opportunities to meet other Christian men, and I did! But none came along with the intention of making another commitment. So happy with my current status =single and free! But always open to an adventure with the right person. I’ve been there ..in those dark places but survived…judgement, rejection,cornered,forgotten..you name it ..its not easy to be a woman and divorced!
Sheridan Voysey on January 8, 2016 at 4:54 am
I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve been through, Angie. Rejected, forgotten… wow. May God take all that and turn it into grace-infused love and empathy for others.
gagirllive on January 7, 2016 at 8:15 am
Approach every person with grace. We don’t know the whole story or the motives behind it. We are not God, but fellow sojourners. As someone succinctly stated, we are “one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread”. Who among us can cast the first stone? Let’s be like Jesus …speak with grace and truth.
Sheridan Voysey on January 8, 2016 at 4:56 am
So true. We must earn the right to correct someone, and even then that harder word must be graceful and for their benefit.
Tom Felten on January 7, 2016 at 8:37 am
Sheridan, thanks for tackling this dicey topic. God calls us to speak the truth in love. May the Spirit give us discernment to know when to speak and what to say and not say!
Angie E. on January 7, 2016 at 9:08 am
Yes!Amen!
Winn Collier on January 7, 2016 at 4:23 pm
truth in love. the old phrase, so rarely heeded.
Winn Collier on January 7, 2016 at 4:22 pm
Comment sections can truly be the worst.
Winn Collier on January 7, 2016 at 4:24 pm
Yes, I get the irony.
Sheridan Voysey on January 8, 2016 at 4:56 am
Beautiful irony :).
eliseuocunha on January 7, 2016 at 5:46 pm
I think I understood what Jesus wanted to say when he spoke about the judgement. We, God’s sons, are not judges. Only God can judge and, even so, He put His son in charge of this function (John 5.22), so that Jesus is the responsible to judge people. It is not our attribution, but his. The role that we may play in the life of our brothers-in-Christ, when it’s evident that they are committing a sin (in the light of the bible), is to admonish them lovingly and graciously, as the brothers that, indeed, we are, showing them the mistake and offering help to them to solve the problem. Do not to judge doesn’t mean to be negligent with our weak brothers. Instead, that we should help them of another way, not as judges, but as brothers.
Sheridan Voysey on January 8, 2016 at 4:59 am
It ultimately depends on what we mean by ‘judge’. We are to judge right from wrong. It is OK to judge the morality of a matter. But we cannot condemn someone, which is what Jesus is talking about here.