They sit beside each other on a straw mat—he in beige trousers and a white-and-purple shirt, she in a blue-and-yellow dress. “I participated in the killing of the son of this woman,” says Francois, one of thousands of Hutu men that perpetrated crimes against Tutsis during the 1994 Rwandan genocide. “He killed my child,” says Epiphanie, “then he came to ask my pardon.”
A mother sitting by her son’s killer? How can this be? Through reconciliation.
Reconciliation is a common thread in Jesus’ teaching. He blesses the peacemakers (Matthew 5:9), teaches nonretaliation in conflict (Matthew 5:38-42), and calls us to forgive those who’ve wronged us (Matthew 6:12,14-15).
Jesus wants us to pursue reconciliation in all of our relationships. He gives two examples of areas where conflict will naturally arise—in church and in society. If at church we remember we’ve offended someone, we’re to ask that person’s forgiveness before we continue to participate in other activities (Matthew 5:23-24). And if a dispute arises with a neighbor, we’re to seek reconciliation before the neighbor takes the matter to court (Matthew 5:25-26). Jesus’ directive extends to all of our relationships: When we’re the offender, we’re to admit our fault and be reconciled.
Jesus never said reconciliation would be easy. It wasn’t for Him (2 Corinthians 5:19-21). And it hasn’t been for Rwandans, where reconciliation has required time, training, mediation, and prayer. But if Epiphanie and Francois can reconcile, can’t that breathe hope into us?
“Before,” Epiphanie says of Francois, “I treated him like my enemy. But now, I would rather treat him like my own child.”
In Christ, even deep conflict and pain can be transformed by reconciliation.
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: Mark 14:26-52
More:
Read Romans 12:17-18 for practical instruction on how to heal broken relationships.
Next:
How have you seen God reconcile your relationships? Is there anyone with whom you need to reconcile? How will you proceed?
Gary Shultz on September 20, 2015 at 7:23 am
To me there is a lot to reconciliation and it does not always work, in fact I think many times it does not. In accounts like today’s story, incredible loss has been experienced and request was made to forgive the unthinkable. To pardon one of the worst acts to possibly be committed. The direction of that request does not always happen that way either sometimes the offended has worked through the loss and reaches out to the offender. Whatever the case it takes something, some one bigger than what is naturally in the heart and soul of human being to reconcile. Of course most cases where reconciliation is needed, it has been cultivated by much smaller offenses. Pride allows those little weeds to expel the work of forgiveness and reconciliation. Since I’m writing a book I may as well press on. I have seen partial reconciliation where one person lays it all down, but he other person still reserves issues. I think I get into more of these than the “win / win” deals. All in all God has shown us the worlds greatest gift of reconciliation and He has asked us to pass that on, we should really have no other choice. A little long today, but thanks for the opportunity.
Roxanne Robbins on September 20, 2015 at 9:58 pm
Sheridan, Your post caused me to reflect on much — particularly the distinctions between forgiveness and reconciliation. It’d make for any interesting, and likely life-changing, study to see Scripture says about both.
Gary, because reconciliation seems elusive so often, you’re right the win/win deals stand out. I recently experienced a win/win with someone, and am amazed at the weight lifted and the joy experienced. We both know outside of Christ our friendship would never have reached the rich stage it’s in now.
Winn Collier on October 3, 2015 at 4:31 pm
I recently had a hard conversation with a friend – and we needed to be reconciled to each other. We both needed to forgive and re-open our heart to one another. I’m thankful that my friend had the heart of Jesus in all this. He extended much grace to me.