Something about my 4-year-old daughter’s outfit looked odd. Taking a closer look, I noticed that her pockets were packed with stones. While our family had been roaming an outdoor area, she had been picking up pebbles and saving them. I had to empty her pockets; it was making it hard for her to walk!
We sometimes save up past offenses until it becomes hard for us to move forward in life. Unkind comments and social slights can haunt us for years. Fortunately, we can unload these emotional weights when we forgive “from [the] heart” (Matthew 18:35).
Peter asked Jesus, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me?” (Matthew 18:21). Peter knew he might need to forgive the same person multiple times, so he suggested what seemed like an appropriate number—seven. Jesus said, “No, not seven times . . . seventy times seven!” (Matthew 18:22). This kind of frequent forgiveness makes it hard for resentment to fester.
Although some small issues can be settled in the quietness of our own hearts (Proverbs 19:11), more significant offenses require an honest conversation with the person at fault. If the guilty party listens and confesses the wrong and we freely forgive, the relationship can be salvaged (Matthew 18:15). Genuine restoration is more than just an exchange of words.
We may feel justified in holding on to our hurt. We may feel that forgiveness means we’re saying it’s okay for someone to mistreat us. And although there may be times when withholding forgiveness is the loving thing to do, those times should be the exception. Jesus doesn’t want us to endure the weight of grudges and past hurt. He wants us to enjoy the love that thrives when we forgive others (Proverbs 17:9).
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: Jeremiah 38:1-13
More:
Read Luke 7:47 to learn about the relationship between love for others and forgiveness from God. Look up Psalm 32:1-2 to see the positive effect that forgiveness has on one’s soul.
Next:
How might a Christian respond to an insincere apology? When might it be appropriate not to forgive? What does God’s forgiveness look like?
Gary Shultz on May 26, 2015 at 5:59 am
Good story, aren’t kids great. We do need to forgive; however, I often see that no one wants to challenge bad behavior. Becoming light and salt in love and correction, is mostly a lost art. I am thankful for the release of forgiveness and we must often do that. My mind goes straight to Joesph who lived a life of forgiveness, it was life for him. Thank you.
mala08 on May 26, 2015 at 7:04 am
I just want to take this time to give all the glory and praise to our lord and savouir for guiding me here today, I decided to take this reading on my own , as i was reading it threw it had described what i was going threw and what i had been doing in the past/present, I ask myself have i really asked for forgiveness toward those i had lost along the way? whether its friendship or family ? i believe that the lord is trying to tell me something. as it says in matthew 18:21 “Then peter came to jesus and asked lord, how many times shall i forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? up to seven times? VS22, Jesus answered ï tell you not seven times but seventy seven times.. We have to ask for forgiveness from the HEART. matthew 18:35 This is how my heavenly father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart. These verses have a huge impact on what i need to be doing . as long its from the heart. then you will be set free from the grudges and burdens.
Tom Felten on May 26, 2015 at 9:13 am
Jen, I’m reminded that true forgiveness can lead to reconciliation. As we go to someone we’ve offended (or someone who has offended us), may we seek for both confession of the wrong and genuine forgiveness to be extended. And may God be glorified in it!
Marlena Graves on May 26, 2015 at 11:11 am
What a great, great, visual lesson on forgiveness! Your daughter’s stones weighing her down and our hoarding of offenses. We continually need to be reminded that holding on to unforgiveness hurts us and weighs us down.
Roxanne Robbins on May 26, 2015 at 11:55 am
What a timely post for me as I recognize the weight I carry by choosing to dwell on past slights rather than to forgive. Thank you for this exhortation which I will take to heart.
powelljennice0508 on May 26, 2015 at 12:44 pm
My mom is currently holding on to a forgiveness. Something was done to a close relative of hers 9 years ago and although it didn’t happen to her directly, she harbors alot of anger in her heart. All the other parties(except one, who passed away) have either forgiven or forgave except her. I have tried to explain to her the damage she is doing to herself when everyone else is over it. I guess I’m just going to have to continue praying that God will reveal to her what her unforgiving spirit is doing to her relationship and the relationship she has with this person.
jennifer benson schuldt on May 27, 2015 at 8:11 am
My heart goes out to your mom. I understand how hard it can be when someone you love is treated unfairly. Right now, I am struggling with this myself. When I read your post, I prayed for your mom’s heart to be softened by the power of the Holy Spirit. I prayed that God would help her to see what life could be like if she would let go of the offense. There is so much freedom that comes with forgiveness. Thank you for sharing today.
Winn Collier on May 29, 2015 at 3:45 pm
Our boys did this exact same thing (storing up rocks). I sometimes do this exact same thing (storing up wrongs).
Martin on May 26, 2017 at 6:14 am
Thanks Jennifer for this wonderful article. I came across a sentence where you said ‘there may be times when withholding forgiveness is the loving thing to do…” Please what instances might be appropriate for the above statement to apply.
Thanks and God bless