If you feel as if you’re a walking ham and cheese on rye, there might be good reason. More and more people are becoming part of the “sandwich generation.” They’re feeling the squeeze of caring for children while also supporting parents or parents-in-law. A recent report reveals that one in five working-age people in Asia are now officially “sandwiched.”
Boaz and Ruth provide an ancient example of how to care for ankle-biters and aging parents. After choosing to take the widow Ruth to be his wife (Ruth 4:10), Boaz also accepted the responsibility of caring for her aging, destitute mother-in-law Naomi (Ruth 4:16). God blessed Boaz and Ruth with a child whom they named Obed (Ruth 4:17). In time, the child would grow and become the grandfather of King David (Ruth 4:17).
From this account, we can see two principles that instruct us when we’re feeling the multigeneration squeeze:
• God requires that we lovingly care for both children and parents. Echoing Jesus’ example of making sure His mother was cared for (John 19:25-27), the apostle Paul wrote, “Those who won’t care for their relatives . . . have denied the true faith” (1 Timothy 5:8). In the same passage, he states that we must care for widows who are part of our family (1 Timothy 5:16).
• The young and the old need each other. It’s interesting to note that Naomi the widow ended up caring for and nurturing Obed (Ruth 4:16). What a great picture of a healthy family, with the older teaching and modeling faith to the younger!
Being sandwiched can be tough. But the blessings that come with extending one hand to our children and the other to our aging parents are abundant. Just ask Naomi and Obed.
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: John 13:21-38
More:
Note what pleases God in 1 Timothy 5:3-4. Apply these verses to your family situation today.
Next:
If you’re caring for both kids and parents, what spiritual or material resources have you not tapped into? Why? If you’re not sandwiched, how can you help someone you know who is?
alli on September 13, 2011 at 9:51 am
this is difficult but nice to know its doable. people should have children early if possible, this is as in Ruth’s case a result of unforeseen circumstances(not by GOD however)
tom felten on September 13, 2011 at 10:34 am
alli, I agree that it is difficult, but doable. Truly a balancing act, only God’s wisdom, peace, and provision will help us do what is best for those we love. I love your final thought—that God knows exactly what we’re dealing with and what lies ahead. May He give us the strength we need when we feel sandwiched!
rachelsohts on September 13, 2011 at 11:06 am
Personally I am the “sandwiched” generation – parents, parents-in-law, young children. It’s absolute truth that it is really difficult in addition to managing work responsibility, church ministry and my covenant-relationship with my spouse and GOD.
However, if it not be the promise of God that He is, and will be with us always, there will be no joy, hope and abundant life.
Out of “intense pressure” or fiery trials in life, does the gold within us gets refined by our Potter! Tough times do really show us what we are made of, and who our GOD is! His grace is always sufficient for us. Amen!
tom felten on September 13, 2011 at 1:23 pm
Amen, Rachel! Your perspective is amazing. 🙂
GChoo on September 13, 2011 at 11:50 am
Tom, thank you for the scriptures to reaffirm us of our responsibilities as God’s children.
I am glad to be born in such a culture where we have a responsibilty to not only our children but our parents until the day they are called to rest. I am thankful that we are able to provide, by the grace of God, and continue to count on God to help us to do so.
tom felten on September 13, 2011 at 1:24 pm
I wish all cultures shared the commitment to family members that your culture models!
pearl131060 on September 13, 2011 at 12:59 pm
Hi Tom, sometimes following this is hard when one side has Alzheimer’s and the other autism. what does God want then? do we give up work?
tom felten on September 13, 2011 at 1:31 pm
pearl131060, you truly have a difficult cross to bear. First, please know that I am praying for you today and I know that many other community members will be praying, as well. Second, there are no easy answers to your situation. But I know that God’s grace is sufficient and He will give you the wisdom and discernment to make the right decisions regarding issues like whether or not to continue working outside the home. Third, I pray that you have loving family members (people inside the home as well as relatives), along with close friends, who helping to carry your burdens. Finally, if you are a member of a local church, consider reaching out for help and encouragement from your brothers and sisters in Jesus. May God give you, and those your caregiving for, a blessed day!
bearpair on September 13, 2011 at 3:49 pm
Good words, Tom. It has always amazed me that children, having been raised in a “godly” home, can so easily abort their responsibility to care for their own parents when they are in clear need. Certainly the example of Ruth, Naomi & Boaz sets a high standard, something which should be the norm for any family claiming faith in our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ.
One additional footnote: we need to remember that the local church also has a responbility to care for true widows, something which has become a rare practice.
Thanks Tom!
winn collier on September 13, 2011 at 8:26 pm
Difficult as it is, the sandwiched-ones in their commitment to caring for these are affirming the value of life. Thanks for reminding us of these practical responsibilities we have.
tom felten on September 13, 2011 at 1:25 pm
What a great example, learning2serve! Thanks so much for sharing the joyful chaos of your new condition!