My 4-year-old son and I were watching television when we saw a commercial for skin cream. A woman’s face appeared and then the camera zoomed in, revealing a rather serious set of crow’s feet. But it didn’t stop there. Computer animation gave us a peek beneath the surface of her skin—into her very pores. Finally, they showed the wrinkle cream doing its thing. My son looked over at me and said, “Mom, you should get some of that.” After considering his comment, I consulted the mirror and thought, “He’s right.”
Sometimes God uses people close to us to point out our flaws, even though “honest words can be painful” (Job 6:25). David had to endure an uncomfortable confrontation when the prophet Nathan said, “You have murdered Uriah the Hittite with the sword of the Ammonites and stolen his wife” (2 Samuel 12:9). David’s consequences for the sin? A rebellious household (2 Samuel 12:11), public disgrace (2 Samuel 12:12), and personal loss (2 Samuel 12:14). During the gut-wrenching discussion, David didn’t say much. In fact, Nathan spoke more than seven times the number of words that David did. David listened more than he talked, and he never defended his actions or became angry with Nathan for speaking painful—but honest—words. In the end, the king admitted, “I have sinned against the Lord” (2 Samuel 12:13).
The Bible says that “wounds from a sincere friend are better than kisses from an enemy” (Proverbs 27:6). If God has placed someone in your life who is willing to challenge you about your spiritual shortcomings, take a lesson from David. Listen carefully—without getting mad—to God’s messenger, and admit your mistake. Then, like David, you can ask God to remove the stain of your guilt, and joyfully sing of His forgiveness (Psalm 51:9,14).
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: John 13:1-20
More:
Read Psalm 141:5 for a sound perspective on receiving correction.
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When was the last time someone pointed out some painful truth to you? How did you respond? Why is it sometimes most difficult to confront people close to us about their spiritual shortcomings?
mike wittmer on September 12, 2011 at 8:06 am
This is dead on. We should always be thankful for friends who love us enough to courageously tell us what we don’t want to hear, but need to. Thank God for faithful friends!
alli on September 12, 2011 at 9:57 am
that is all.
jennifer benson schuldt on September 12, 2011 at 3:36 pm
Here is a story (not mine) that shows how important it is to listen to our friends when they confront us–they can see things we don’t see.
Rev. Francis E. Clarke, founder of Christian Endeavor, told of a young man, out in the woods with his camera, who stopped at the entrance of a cavern on a rocky hillside, and impulsively thought: “Let [me] see what kind of a photograph I can get out of that cave.”
Steadying the camera just a little way from the mouth, he gave the sensitive plate a long time exposure into the darkness of the interior. Then he went on his way.
When later he developed the plates, [he was astonished] as the exposure of the cave revealed in the center of the opening—but concealed from his eyes by the darkness within—a huge lynx crouched and ready to spring. Danger, disfigurement, perhaps death, had confronted him; yet he had been quite unaware of the peril.
(Taken from: Tan, Paul Lee: Encyclopedia of 7700 Illustrations)
daisymarygoldr on September 22, 2011 at 2:30 pm
It is very painful to both speak and hear the truth. A real friend will be honest with me even if it hurts to hear the truth. It is better to have friends who truly care for me and stab me in the front. Those who don’t point out my flaws but laugh at me behind my back are not friends—but foes who want to see me trip and fall.
We need courage to be candid in friendship—at the cost of being misunderstood as rude and tactless. It is most difficult to confront people close to us about their shortcomings—because we don’t want to lose their friendship. But people who really love us are willing to risk losing the relationship in order to restore our relationship with God.
Thanks Jennifer, for the reminder to listen carefully without getting mad, when challenged about our spiritual shortcomings!
jennifer benson schuldt on September 22, 2011 at 3:35 pm
I think one of the keys to confrontation is speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). This is a phrase that gets tossed around quite a bit in Christian circles. And yet, it can be very, hard to be loving while spooning out some painful truth. My son was sick this week, and as I was giving him medicine, he closed his eyes, braced himself for the bad taste and wrinkled his nose. This phrase came to mind “A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.” I’m not saying we should candy coat God’s truth when we speak to others about sin issues. However, it’s in everyone’s best interest for us deliver the medicine with grace, kindness, and love.
jennifer benson schuldt on September 22, 2011 at 3:26 pm
Eduardo,
Thank you for bringing up an important point related to confrontation. You said, we often see other people’s mistakes, but we fail to notice that we have fallen to the same weakness or sin. Your comment brought to mind this scripture:
“Why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye
when you have a log in your own? How can you
think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you
get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t
see past the log in your own eye? First get rid of
the log in your own eye; then you will see well
enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s
eye” (Mt. 7:3-5).
Keeping this passage in mind can help us to have the humble spirit that makes our message “hearable” when we bring up a sin issue with those close to us.