The first time I met her, something in our interaction truly bothered me. A day later, I was praying to God and searching my heart to see why I felt so unsettled around my new acquaintance. After all, it had been a pretty typical social gathering, and I usually enjoy getting to know people. Still sorting it out today, I’ve asked the Holy Spirit to show me whether I was truly sensing something negative and real or if I was simply caught up in the comparison game once again.
When it comes to dealing with jealousy, we sometimes try to bury our feelings or “pretty them up” with some spiritual-sounding words. But when we truly touch base with the truth, jealousy is just plain ugly.
James even goes so far as to say, “Jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. . . . There you will find disorder and evil of every kind” (James 3:15-16). Did you notice it says jealousy is demonic? Although this word may appear strong, when it comes to the trap of comparing ourselves to others, we know that this practice originated with the father of lies.
Have you experienced a selfish desire for something belonging to another person? Have you felt that strong emotional response as you’ve been sizing up others? Whether we diminish ourselves or someone else because we fail to measure up, the result is destructive (James 3:9-10).
Pushing our feelings down inside doesn’t make the green-eyed monster go away. When our words—spoken or not—begin to show a change from fresh to bitter water (James 3:11-12), we need to reveal the darkness in our hearts to God and experience the healing power of His Word. Only He can help us overcome jealousy.
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: Mark 12:28-37
More:
Read 1 Corinthians 3:1-9 to see how jealousy can affect our spiritual growth and our relationships within the church.
Next:
What are some signs that you’re feeling jealous? How can God and His Word help you deal with the jealousy you’ve been experiencing?
2kidsonly2arms on September 5, 2011 at 7:06 am
The tongue is a very hard thing to control for me. But I wonder if jelousy is also when we compare ourselves to others, by judging them? Anyone have an answer?
Is that jelousy when we are judging someone?
regina franklin on September 6, 2011 at 9:38 pm
Dear 2kidsonly2arms,
I think jealousy can lead us into judgment. We are called to discern things according to the Word (1 Corinthians 5) but at the point at which we are using our own standard or set ourselves up as judge, we are walking in sin (Romans 14). I think there are times we are tempted to judge others because it is a way of “leveling” the playing field to make ourselves feel stronger or more adequate because we are jealous of anothers talents.
bethanyF on September 5, 2011 at 11:22 am
So interesting how God trys to teach us something. I was reading in my Bible reading today in first Samuel how the women of Israel began to sing that Saul had a thousand and David had ten thousand. At this point this is where Saul became suspicious of David. I pondered what God was trying to teach me through this lesson and it struck me that Saul became jealous of David. It is so fitting that Our Daily Journey by Regina today is about Jealousy. I become jealous of other people that don’t have to work and just have it easy. I now am beginning to see that God is who I should be working for and know that my work pleases Him.
alli on September 5, 2011 at 12:11 pm
whats interesting is that Saul blew his chance and that was the source of envy i think, he saw someone making good on God’s promises that he forfeited. I mean usually our jealousy is more about us, not doing the work and then seeing someone who GOD blesses and getting all mad. b/c why would GOD show it to you anyway if he wasnt trying to make a point. i get mad b/c really GOD shows me the truth of it and always somewhere i am the one at fault. so its no use getting mad at other ppl who are working the word esp when we dont know what they did to be where they are. easy to say hard to do, there has to be a heart change and learning to accept what GOD has given us as enough.
regina franklin on September 6, 2011 at 10:08 pm
Dear alli and bethanyF,
Good points that jealousy finds an open door when we spend more time looking to the right or the left (to those beside us) rather than to the Lord.
Scripture also talks about those who prosper (temporarily and not eternally) who aren’t being obedient to the Lord–David himself admits to almost stumbling when he compared himself to those who were not living according to the precepts of the Word. However, he came to the conclusion that God knows their end as well as his ( Psalms 73) and that God would be faithful to fulfill His Word.
The bottom line–there will always be those who seem to have fewer issues in life but there will also be those who seem beset by trials. Just as Jesus told Peter, we are not to compare our lives with other people’s stories but we are to live our own knowing that it is His goodness and grace that will sustain us..
alli on September 5, 2011 at 12:03 pm
i deal with this on the regular b/c of the way i look, and sicknesses, or the fact that God is putting me through some stuff that i see others not having to deal with.. its just jealousy/envy. God has been dealing with me..they did what they r supposed to, and i have NEVER really fit in anyway. I just tried, so i get jealous of others, ability and being normal, but i deal with it all the time and i wish it would go away, i see Him using others gifts and instead of celebrating i start to get all mad, i just want to be rid of it, im tired of comparing my life with others no its not perfect, but i mean jealousy never solves the problem or get God ‘on my side’ so to speak..
fazlyanahmodi on September 5, 2011 at 7:51 pm
jealousy in positive way can build up our strength and faith..;)
bless us Lord…amen
regina franklin on September 6, 2011 at 10:12 pm
Dear eduardo and fazlyanahmodi,
Perhaps we could put it this way–the temptation to be jealous will come. Choosing to trust the Lord rather than to compare ourselves to others builds our faith and trust in Him. In this way we learn to focus on the goodness of who He is rather than on what we do or do not have and we learn to trust His heart of love that would not withhold any good thing.
daisymarygoldr on September 21, 2011 at 6:27 pm
Good post and discussion, Regina and all! Having pangs of jealousy is not a sin by itself; choosing to be consumed by it is a sin. We can try real hard to cover it with an outer gloss of graciousness, but some day the hidden resentment boils over to burst out like molten lava.
The root of bitterness springs up when we see someone else is blessed by God and we do not get what we think, we deserve. And when envious thoughts are allowed to fester and grow—it will lead to anger and depression. Sometimes we even justify our right to be angry with God.
Anger is equivalent to murder and it is then we are in danger of making wrong judgment against the person we envy. We judge to resent someone who is blessed by God and seems to have it all together. What we don’t see is the whole picture. We never know the awful experiences the other person is going through.
Cain is a painful example that jealousy—can destroy relationships even among brothers within the family of God. And what sorrow awaits those who follow in the footsteps of Cain (Jude verse 11). To overcome jealousy, we need to compare ourselves with those who are less privileged than us. If we would look at the have-nots around us, then we will thank God for the countless blessings that we already have in Jesus Christ.
GChoo on September 22, 2011 at 10:18 am
Dear Regina, thanks for the reminder, and all who shared.
All kinds of sinful desires exist because we live in a fallen way. Yes, how we react to jealousy will tell us if we are walking in God’s way or the way of the world which may always seem logical. May we pray for God’s love and wisdom to discern and keep close to God’s Word. Amen.