Over the past few months my wife and I have been the Master and Mistress of Ceremonies for three weddings. Not only are we considering doing this fulltime (just kidding!), we truly enjoyed helping the couples design marriage ceremonies and receptions that reflect who they are.
God designed marriage in a way that reflects who He is. He said, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18), revealing the perfect intimacy and unity that the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit share as members of the Trinity (Luke 3:22).
God created a wife for Adam and brought her to him (Genesis 2:21-22). The intimacy and unity this first man experienced with his beautiful bride can be seen in the words of the poem he composed on the spot: “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh!” (Genesis 2:23). Their relationship reflected the oneness of the Trinity as they were “united into one” (Genesis 2:24).
The three couples my wife and I were assisting entered their new relationship as husband and wife in unity and with high hopes. What they will eventually encounter, however, are the elements of life that can threaten to come between them. Picture a couple holding hands as they face each other. As good things (like children) and difficult things (financial struggles, sickness, long hours at work) increasingly fill the space between them, the two can be pushed apart until they release their hands.
If that happens, marriage can become a lonely place. So today, if you’re married, reach out to your spouse. Remember that God gave him or her to you, so you would not “be alone” (Genesis 2:18) and so you could be “united” to reflect our triune God (Genesis 2:24).
In the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit we find the perfect example of what it means to truly stay close.
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: Luke 15:11-32
More:
Check out Malachi 2:14-16 to better understand God’s desire for us to stay faithful to Him and, if married, to faithfully love our spouse.
Next:
How does the intimacy and love of the Trinity help you better understand the depth of your relationship with God? If you’re married, what will you do to draw
suetsee on August 15, 2011 at 5:18 am
Hi Tom,
Thank you for your sharing. I have just wedded in March and begin a difficult stage to adapt as someone’s wife. I’m glad you remind me with God’s Word that we should not let unnecessary matters to come between a husband-wife relationship
tom felten on August 15, 2011 at 9:07 am
suetsee, had stuff happens in life. It’s so easy to turn on one another, instead of turning to Jesus together for hope and healing. I pray that you and your husband will continue to grow in your for Him and for each other.
suetsee on August 17, 2011 at 10:21 pm
Thanks Tom for the advise. My husband and me had chosen Psalm 33:20-22 for our wedding theme. Maybe it’s the time to be reminded to put my hope and trust in Jesus in this marriage than in my spouse.
cali4ange on August 15, 2011 at 2:28 pm
I hope you both the best, and hope that with seeking God together will strengthen your relationship with one another. My advice to you, is to keep the communication flowing consistently, do spontaneous things to kindle the relationship continually. I find that when couples tend to do the same ruitine, they tend to get distracted and let it get in the way. Pray together, study the word together, and remember the things that couples argue about tend to be something unresolved, accept one another’s faults and love them for who they are, after all that’s who you fell in love with, then you’ll have less arguements to deal with! And when you do have kids, make the time for one another.
suetsee on August 17, 2011 at 10:29 pm
Thanks for the advise…I agree with you. Communication is very important especially
The fact this marriage is sort of difficult as I had been a single unwed mother in the past 4 years. I had been raped by a an ex-boyfriend and I kept the baby. Now that I’m married, believing in God’s forgiveness and healing, yet there are many things for us to adapt in this new family. Most oftentimes I have let my 5 year old son come in between my husband and me, and between God and me.
I hope with the Lord’s help, He will continue to teach and guide me in this life that He has given me.
kenz0fia on August 15, 2011 at 11:38 am
Hi Tom,
My husband and I separated almost a year now and we have two beautiful children but when i accepted Jesus, i want to win him back because I want him to meet Jesus and feel what He can do to his life. Unfortunately, he has a new partner and expecting a baby this year. I really wanted to keep our marriage after i read your post, what am i going to do?
tom felten on August 15, 2011 at 5:31 pm
kenzOfia, I’m praying for you and I know many others in the ODJ community are also lifting you and your needs up to our heavenly Father. Continue to seek God’s direction, prayerfully finding guidance and hope in Him. I would also encourage you to gain some godly counsel from a mature believer in Jesus—perhaps an older, spiritually mature woman who will help you walk though this difficult valley. Also, here’s a link to a practical online booklet that provides biblical instruction for what to do when a spouse has been unfaithful: http://helpformylife.org/Products/When-A-Spouse-Is-Unfaithful-%28Booklet%29__CB001.aspx
cali4ange on August 15, 2011 at 2:21 pm
Chileshe, I think several people have not find the happiness in their hearts, so still in quest of finding someone who can fill it but have had no luck. I believe if God was in their lives, their priorities wouldn’t be on their career and finances.
And I agree with Tom, to find happiness we must find the happiness with God and fill our heart and mind with seeking Him. Jeremiah 29:11.
dr.lightsey on August 15, 2011 at 2:44 pm
God is aware of our desires to have a husband or wife. As my pastor told me years ago, “seek God and His purpose for your life.” God will supply the need for a spouse and He will make the best choice for you.” I’m always reminded to seek the Giver, not the gift.” God gave me a wife 26 years ago. I’m still estatic about who He gave me. I’m truly enjoyng His choice and daily give thanks to Him, the Giver.
OnMyWayHome on August 15, 2011 at 3:05 pm
Tom you paint a good a ‘Word Picture’ I especially like the ‘Hands’ and the stuff that gets in between. I have found over a period time how much my wife means to me, I wish I knew better back then. She has forgiven me and we are together again and there is much joy.
‘kenz0fia’ I do not understand what you’re going through I just know of the pain I had for three long years, I thought we would never get together again. I will endeavor to remember you in prayer.
daisymarygoldr on August 15, 2011 at 5:13 pm
Good thoughts, Tom Felten and all!
True, marital intimacy is a reflection of the oneness among members of the Godhead; in my experience though, it is far from perfect. The immenseness of intimacy in a relationship depends on absolute transparency—which is possible only with God but not with my spouse. It is not easy to be vulnerable, loving and trusting all at the same time.
The deepest level of togetherness which we have with God transcends the fleeting romantic infatuations we look for in marriage. Many assume that marriage will fill our emptiness—only to discover, it is false. This is the main reason for unfulfilled expectations that leads to disillusionment and divorce. It needs to be clearly understood, we are not lonely because God is also in the picture.
Without God, couples often let go holding each others’ hands if not after the honeymoon, then mostly after the children are added… You see, people can be like porcupines. How do we get close without getting hurt? Marriage therefore is also tripartite; with God at the center and the man and woman at the two base points. The closer each one gets to God, the closer we get to one another.
Yes, God designed marriage so Adam will not be alone. But we must not forget—Adam already had a perfect relationship with God before he became one with Eve. So, whether we are single or married, God alone can fill the void and satisfy us in the most intimate way… And when we live selflessly—seeking to meet the needs of others we will never be alone.
rncinca on August 15, 2011 at 11:01 pm
Hi everyone! I am a new poster and have been married for 33+ years to my husband who was not raised with any formal or informal religious/spiritual background We married very young, have four children, one grandchild, and I believe my husband has benefited from my faith-it may not be the perfect Christian marriage but I continue to try to set the examples I think God wants me to set, both for my children and for my husband. I would like to revisit 1 Corinthians 7:12-14 as I think it may be appropriate for many, not just myself. Thank you for this site and God bless!
tom felten on August 16, 2011 at 8:36 am
Thanks for sharing your story, mcinca. I’m sure you’ve inspired many people in the ODJ community. The instructions from Paul in 1 Corinthians 7 are clear and encouraging. As the verse says, by God’s grace, you have “brought holiness” to your marriage.
mike wittmer on August 17, 2011 at 10:16 am
Our anniversary is Friday, and you’ve persuaded me to do something special to celebrate it. I like your assertion that the Trinity is our model for our marriage relationships. Until our love and commitment approximates the self-giving love of the Father, Son, and Spirit, we should not be satisfied.
bearpair on August 17, 2011 at 1:24 pm
Tom, this devo is exce;;ent, and so firmly rooted in Scripture… too bad you didn’t have room to elaborate :o) Via email, I’m going to send you a wonderful piece by Elisabeth Elliot on praying as Jesus did… very appropo to your comments. Thanks, Tom! Terry & Pat
tom felten on August 15, 2011 at 9:04 am
Chileshe, we can be alone whether we’re wealthy, poor, married, or single. I truly believe that only the love of God can fill the emptiness in our hearts—giving us something to offer to others.