Li Yue fell hard for Hou You Jing. They were from the same province, shared a love for badminton and western movies, and—as if by fate—met while working second shift at a microchip processor company in Shenzhen. Li Yue couldn’t stand to be apart from Hou You Jing, and she didn’t notice that her constant calls and weekend plans were beginning to smother him. He slowly pulled away—finally telling her that he was ending their relationship. Li Yue was devastated. In desperation, she pleaded, “But I love you!”
But was it truly love? Jonathan Edwards explained that we truly love another person only if we love them first in God. Any love that doesn’t begin with God is actually a form of selfishness. We love ourselves rather than others, our family rather than another family, or our city or country rather than another town or nation. Our circle of love may widen to include everyone on planet Earth, yet we’ll still prefer the people on our planet to the possible inhabitants of others. Edwards explained that “true virtue consists in love to Being [his term for God] in general” and only afterward “to any one particular being.”
This is partially Jesus’ point when He commands us to love Him more than our closest family and friends (Matthew 10:37). He isn’t merely warning against idolatry, but He’s also telling us how to fully enjoy our close relationships. When we love others more than God, we inevitably ask more from them than what they can deliver. Our neediness will eventually suffocate them and our relationship.
Jesus said that whatever we cling to we will lose, but “if you give up your life for Me, you will find it” (Matthew 10:39). As the saying goes, “If you love someone, set them free”—in God.
More:
Read Philippians 3:7-8 to see Paul’s comparison between knowing Jesus Christ and knowing anything else.
Next:
How can you tell if you’re putting another person, hobby, or thing in the place reserved for God alone? How might you properly enjoy those things as God’s gift to you?
mike wittmer on February 14, 2011 at 8:24 am
Chileshe:
I winced as I read your descriptions, and they reminded me of the cruelty that humans are capable of doing to each other. I would hate to have any of those things happen to me,and yet I think I could bear them if I had died with Christ (Gal. 2:20). You are right–as bad as they are, the alternative is unthinkable.
eppistle on February 14, 2011 at 8:38 am
If we love God the most, we can actually love another person more than if we loved that person the most. As First John 5:2 states: “This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands.”
mike wittmer on February 14, 2011 at 8:52 am
eppistle:
I love your provocative,counter-intuitive statement. It’s absolutely true, but it seems that it shouldn’t be. I think it’d be fun to try to figure out why it is exactly that we can love some people more by loving Someone Else first.
tom felten on February 14, 2011 at 9:48 am
good discussion! Mike and eppistle, my thoughts went to 1 John 4:8. If we are to truly love someone else well, we must first know and experience perfect love. That love, found in God, transforms us and the love that we show to others.
winn collier on February 14, 2011 at 10:36 am
Thank you, Mike, the idea of Jesus potent words actually transforming our love for others is powerful.
Chileshe, it is also powerful to know that God’s love can transform even these brutal realities you describe.
mike wittmer on February 14, 2011 at 1:51 pm
Tom:
I think your thought is more gospel centered than mine. I was thinking that we can’t love people unless we first love God, but you’re absolutely right that what we need first and foremost is to be loved by God. So the order is this: God loves us, we love God, and then we love others in him. I like that.
Power of God on February 14, 2011 at 9:21 pm
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God bless all of you every day every hour, every minutes every second
Thank you from
Quebec Canada
AManofGod on February 14, 2011 at 11:04 pm
“If you love someone, set them free – In God”
Those words ring so true and are so beautiful! I have come to learn this lesson the hard way. A love that is not founded in God’s love cannot last. A love that is honest, open and Godly is what we should seek. Often we seek what we THINK is good for us or what is physically desirable rather than what God would want for us. These types of relationships can’t last and NEVER will.
Let’s seek what God wants for us. If we are “in love” that is not based on God’s love then we aren’t in love at all. I pray that a true Godly love is what we all are seeking….and that we all find that as well.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
AManofGod
Boi on February 24, 2011 at 6:03 am
In loving people one can learn that we need to “let go and let God” so that we grow more in our relationship with God even if it means we do that apart from each other… Learning to love people 1Corinthians13 way… God’s way…
Daddy God bless
Boi
ebeguirras on March 9, 2011 at 9:02 pm
hi everyone. Nice discussion and comments.
Thanks. I was refreshed and reminded. XD
Godbless everyone.
johnny_b_good40 on February 14, 2011 at 5:19 am
well put.