While journeying down the Yangtze River last year, a Chinese ferry crew became concerned when a passenger burst out of his cabin with his hands covering his ears screaming, “I can’t stand it any longer!” Crewmembers followed the distraught passenger to the ferry’s railing, wondering if he was suffering from an ear injury. As they talked with him, the man’s wife rushed up and began to nag him loudly. The man covered his ears again, cried out, “I need a break!” and then jumped over the railing. The fast-moving Yangtze is dangerous and claims many lives each year. Thankfully, the man was later rescued, having battled the raging 2-kilometer-wide river. “I felt I was dying,” he reportedly told police, “but even that’s better than my wife’s nagging!”

According to the book of Proverbs, a wife is a gift from God (Proverbs 18:22), and the “wife of noble character” (Proverbs 31:10 NIV) is to be praised by all (Proverbs 31:28). But Proverbs also laments a nagging, quarrelsome wife. She’s like the constant dripping of a leaky tap (Proverbs 19:13). It’s better to live in a corner of the attic than to live with her (Proverbs 21:9). Run to the desert to find some relief (Proverbs 21:19). Our Chinese friend would surely agree!

Are women more prone to the sin of quarrelsome nagging than men? I’ll leave you to debate that one! Needless to say, the more important issue is what we do with such a sin. “Do everything without complaining and arguing,” the apostle Paul reminds us (Philippians 2:14). Our quarrels can be driven by pride (Proverbs 13:10), greed, and selfishness (James 4:1-3)—things which are to be “put to death” (Colossians 3:5) and replaced with humility, kindness, and patience (v.12).

The quarrelsome person is hard to endure (Proverbs 26:21). Everyone loses in a home fraught with endless complaints. Choose, instead, to lift up and encourage those you love.