Last year, a woman named Joan opened a letter from a local law firm and immediately burst into tears as she read its contents. The letter stated that her divorce from husband John “had been completed.” She was in disbelief—the couple from Sheffield, England, had been happily married for 36 years!
It was later discovered that the law firm had used the wrong letter template in composing the paper bombshell Joan and John received. Although the message mix-up initially caused them to be shocked and saddened, they’re still married and happy today.
Jesus’ words in Matthew 19:6, “Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together,” make plain the reality that some people have unhappy marriages. Instead of embracing divorce, however, Jesus calls troubled couples not to destroy what they have become—one.
What does this mean? In Genesis 2:24, which the Lord references in Matthew 19:5, God said of married people, “The two are united into one.” As one writer puts it, married people “shall be considered as one body, having no separate or independent rights. . . . Their union [shall result in children], exactly resembling themselves as they do each other.”
Their child reflects their oneness! The attributes possessed from parents cannot be separated—a child is one body and a living metaphor of the sacred unity of marriage in God’s view (Ephesians 5:31).
The key to living in a happy marriage is to love one’s spouse sacrificially: “A man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it” (vv.28-29).
For a couple to stay together and not split apart requires both husband and wife to truly see that they are one.
More:
This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! (Genesis 2:23).
Next:
What does oneness in marriage look like from God’s perspective? What does it require from each spouse?
ngkt2581 on May 31, 2009 at 9:44 pm
Thanks, Tom, for the sharing.
For my wife and I who were just married this February 28, it’s a good and timely reminder that we can no longer live the way we like as separate individuals, though sometimes it’s needful to have personal space and time (with our spouse’s understanding and consent, of course) to reflect and to be refreshed.
Please visit our blog as we share with you and others our journey of love:
http://loveschronicle.blogspot.com/2009/03/honeymoon-photos-part-1.html
henden on July 30, 2009 at 11:38 pm
Wow , just what i was looking for ! I was in a realitionship for 15 years and left due to extreme abusive towards myself and my children .A good friend introduced me to my now husband and have been married for the first time may i add , When I married him I was not Christian , times got tough and i felt scared and wanted to run , I didnt want to go through what I did once .Something drew me to a Christian bookstore and talking to the lady I took a card for Christian Counselling .I did not want to give up .So we attended and everything went well …she showed me taht God loves us and Jesus died for our sins , our counselling ended up being bible study , and now we are Christians and loving life . When things get tough and seem hopeless I remember that we are one and know that God will get us thorugh . The best thing is that our children see God working in us and I truly believe that If they didnt see it , they woudl not have learned .Im very thankful for Jesus dying for my sins and reminding me every day that two is one !
simplejoy on August 30, 2009 at 11:34 pm
I am undergoing a divorce right now. My husband who is a christian has suddenly turned into a stranger for the past three years of our 8 year marriage. He became verbally and physically abusive to me. He openly cheated on me not only once but repeatedly with different women. I became so stressed that fainting became a daliy routine. Three months ago, i was rushed to the emergency room and on the way to the hospital, my husband was wishing me dead. He left our home and took our business leaving me with no source of income for me and my son.
This is the second time he had left me and now he had filed a divorce. He told me that I am a Proverbs 31 woman but its not enough as he doesnt love me anymore and has chosen wrong when he married me.
I am so confused, hurt and devastated. I have questioned God, got mad and cried myself to sleep plenty of times. I have done wrong things in reaction to hurt,made wrong decisions, as well as said hurting words just to retaliate. It has made things worse, so much so, that i feel that there is no way my marriage would be redeemed.
When i got married, my first criteria is for the man to be a christian yet it seems that it doesnt ensure success in a relationship. The Word says that God doesnt like divorce and i dont want it either. Inspite of my hurt i cant seem to hate my husband and i still hope for a miracle to happen. I still want my marriage to be restored and my husband to become a Godly man.
I read the book offered in RBC, ” When Faith and Decision Collide”, and it gave me peace in the midst of my tumultuous life. i still dont know what the future holds. I still dont know if my marriage would be redeemed. I am still hoping for a miracle. But having a direction is a great help. Knowing that my direction lies not at the end of the expectations but in the journey that i choose to take gives me peace. That in following the overt will of God in my life, He will take care of the unknown in my life as well.
I am choosing to follow His Words and leave the consequences Him.
newbeliever1 on August 31, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Thank you for all of your comments. I am in a tiny version of something similar. I was raised a catholic, but I never new what it was to be christian until very recently. I am trying very hard, but finding the peace and trust to get me through this….like that which you all are discussing has been incredibly difficult for me. I am encouraged, however, by your words. Thank you!
simplejoy on September 2, 2009 at 6:30 am
God is greaat and worthy to be praised!.
God makes a way when there seems to be no way. I have recently experienced this. My husband and I talked through the night yesterday on the phone. We talked about our problems, our divorce, the miscommunictions and the spiritual growth we are having separately. We even shared a laugh or two along the way. I never thought we would be able to talk without getting on each others nerves after all the things had been done.
I hope and pray that God will continue to work in our relationship. We are still talking of divorce but i hang on to the hope that God will hear the desire of my heart.
tom felten on September 2, 2009 at 9:14 am
simplejoy, I’m so glad you had a good conversation with your husband the other night. I will pray that God will continue to heal your marriage. When you wrote that you are both experiencing “spiritual growth,” it made me smile. I truly believe—and have experienced—that as we draw closer to God, we are able to love and draw closer to others in a far deeper way. Keep praying for that desire of your heart!
simplejoy on September 3, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Thank you Tom. Its roller coaster ride for me right now. One day its good and the next day, its nerve racking. I am in need of prayer for strength and guidance.
Im claiming God’s Words…. He will give the desire of my heart as i work on obeying Him everyday of my life.
Praises to Him always.
Mike on October 20, 2009 at 7:44 pm
I will also start praying for you simplejoy… I’m inspired by your strong faith in God’s caring hands… I too have been guided and have been directed by God in ways that initially I could have grabbed the opportunity to leave my wife or in some instances job related opportunities and I really couldn’t decide yet if I should “grab and go” or “stay and let go”. But lifting it up to HIM makes it easier for me to accept things that are intended for me and things that are not YET for me. As I have learned through the years… Great things will come your way in God’s own time and not your own time. Continue to pray and lift your burden up to Him and amazingly He will bring you to where you should be. 🙂