What is a believer in Jesus’ responsibility in working toward reconciliation with another person? What has been your experience in doing so?
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pjeanne on September 10, 2012 at 11:01 am
I have an older sister who doesn’t want anything to do with me. It stems back many, many years ago. After my parents’ divorce, my mother lived with this sister. Mom did all the household things, plus raised my sister’s children, while my sister worked. It was a good arrangement for both of them. My father was mostly to blame for the divorce, but he and mother remained close until he died. I developed a close relationship with my dad after he had quit drinking. I loved my mom with all my heart. Anyway, my sister always tried to stir things up between my mom and me and was always putting my down for one thing or another. She’s always been full of anger and bitterness. She messed up her own life when she was in her teens and always blamed dad for it. She has always said that he should have stopped her. Well, both my parents tried, but to no avail. Even though I have forgiven her for every thing, (she doesn’t think she needs forgiveness for anything), she doesn’t want any sort of reconciliation. (I’m not the only one that she has acted this way towards. Even her oldest daughter has been through the “fire” with her. ) I’ve sent her cards, even sent a couple of emails to try and reconcile with her, but nothing!! My problem is, when I read about Christ’s directions for reconiciliation with someone who you are on the outs with, I feel a twinge of guilt and feel that I should try again. Does anyone have any suggestions?
tom felten on September 11, 2012 at 10:31 am
pjeanne, you have truly done your best to live out the principles of reconciliation found in Matthew 18:15-18. The hard part about reconciling with someone is the hard heart that she might possess! From what you’ve written, there’s no reason for you to feel guilty. But, as joyce stated above, you can continue to patiently, prayerfully wait for your sister’s heart to change.
pjeanne on September 11, 2012 at 6:22 pm
Thanks, Tom. That is basically what I am doing. I really don’t expect her to change, but I do pray for her and my brother every day. I wish no harm on them, in any way, and I pray that God will soften their hearts before any of us leave this Earth. I know that my sister accepted Christ years ago and I think my brother did , as well. I don’t think he practices his faith, tho. I certainly hope, that we know each other when we get to Heaven, then there won’t be any bitter feelings from anyone. Praise God!!
staci54 on September 11, 2012 at 12:39 pm
I totally agree with tom felten………may God grant you a deep settled peace while praying and hoping for her change of heart!
pjeanne on September 11, 2012 at 6:30 pm
Thank you. 🙂
pjeanne on September 11, 2012 at 6:16 pm
Thank you, Joyce. In all honesty, I don’t know why she’s always felt this way. I was the youngest in a family of five and she always said that I was Dad’s favorite. I suspect that has something to do with it, but, my gosh, I was just a little girl then. (She is 7 years older than I.) I know that when I was a kid, I use to tattle on her when I caught her smoking, but kids do that. I am now 71 years old and she is 78, so you would think that , that, wouldn’t have anything to do with it, wouldn’t you? Of course , when Dad died, he left me more than any of the other kids, because he said that he had helped them out over the years. Well, you can imagine how that went over. She and my oldest brother made my life a living hell. My other brother and other sister understood and were always supportive of me. (and loved me!) If it wasn’t for the fact that Jesus said that before we left our sacrifice for him, that we were to go and reconcile with out brother, or sister, I would just live my life and let her be. My brother, too. She can’t really hurt me any more, as I moved away from my home town 20 years ago and don’t have to worry about it any more. However, I just want to do what Jesus wants me to do. That’s my dilemma.