A True Friend
A few months after his son’s tragic death, my friend told me that people who had been close were now avoiding him and his family. He said it was as if people no longer wanted to be around them. I asked him why he thought the poor comforters were acting this way. His answer troubled me, for I knew it was the hard truth: “When people don’t feel they can fix a situation, they try to pretend it’s not there. They feel embarrassed.”
turning to friends
Redwood trees can grow to incredible heights—some reaching more than 375 feet! Yet most redwoods have a shallow root system that typically burrows less than 10 feet into the ground.
a friend
When my younger sister was 4 years old, a global dictator (who we’ll call Frank) was constantly in the nightly news and the contents of his angry speeches splattered across newspaper headlines. He was violent—spewing hatred and fear. My sister obviously had little political understanding, but she picked up on our national anxiety and understood that most people believed this dictator to be a dangerous, bad man. One day, my dad (who had taught us that God’s desire was for us to love absolutely everyone), quizzed my sister. “What do you think of Frank?” my dad asked. Perplexed, my sister carefully considered her reply. Finally, she answered. “I love him, but I wouldn’t play with him.”
a gentle Father
During a difficult season of life when I questioned God’s kindness and care, many believers in Jesus came alongside me. They allowed me to be real with my struggles, but refused to let me dwell on them. They pointed me to Scripture, prayed for me, and helped meet my needs. Their compassion helped me experience Christ’s gentle love (Deuteronomy 32:2). Rather than judge me for my weak faith, my confidants proved that “a friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need” (Proverbs 17:17).
words with friends
Created in 2009, Words with Friends has become one of the most popular online games in the Apple store. It’s a multiplayer word game in which players take turns working with words in a way that resembles a crossword puzzle or Scrabble board. One of the fun features of the game is that it allows opponents to exchange messages with one another. The game isn’t only enjoyable and competitive, it also creates a platform to build friendships.
saying goodbye
Today I told my friend Jen goodbye. Having met her a year ago, I liked her from the first time I interviewed her for a teaching position in our department. I soon realized we were twins born 8 years apart—she too keeps bananas in her freezer forever and has a sensitive heart. Witty, bright, strong—and unafraid to cry—Jen embraces life with passion. I’ll miss her dearly as she begins a new life with her husband in a different city and state. As unexpectedly as our paths crossed, they now divide.
you choose Q: how do you deal with betrayal?
Q: I've been severely betrayed by someone who I thought was a true friend. Every time I see her at church I am reminded of how she hurt me and it angers me. I want to leave my current church now and move to another one. If has been almost a year since this happened and it has been the…
no filter
Recently, someone close to me was made anxious and sad by the words of a friend. The individual shared some difficult past experiences in an awkward attempt at “helping” my loved one gain insight into a hardship she was facing. But, unfortunately, the friend lacked a filter! More was shared than should have been shared, and it caused my family member to experience fear and distress.
thank you, friends
Albert Lee, former international director of RBC Ministries—the parent ministry of ODJ—was instrumental in helping the organization to establish offices in 32 locations and to distribute resources to more than 150 countries. On his 60th birthday, he penned these words, “As I reflect on the past 60 years of my life, my story could be summarized with these two words: greatly helped.”
September 3, 2013
What does it take to truly be a good friend?
July 15, 2013
Why is it wise for us to seek people of high character in our closest relationships?
rabble babble
Many years ago, I was counseling at a Christian camp when the program staff began to struggle. Why? Some of the counselors didn’t appreciate the way the director was leading, so they started to complain. As the complaints spread, more people joined in. By the end of the week, the staff had become polarized and the whole camp had been affected by the tempestuous situation.
lousy comforters
I’m often tongue-tied when I attend a funeral or visit someone in the hospital. As soon as I open my mouth, it concerns me that I’m sounding like one of Job’s friends. They were better comforters when they kept their mouths shut rather than when they opened them (Job 2:11-13). Their advice and consolation to Job sounded like the exact words I might have spoken. They argued forcefully and their arguments seemed so pious, leading Philip Yancey to comment: “If today we had only Job 3–37, we would judge the three friends as the true heroes of the book.” But God was angry with them (Job 42:7).
