compatibility in Christ
Get married. Make babies.” That’s the annual clarion call from the Singapore government due to a declining population challenge. As a single woman living in this small country, I know the message is targeted at me.
marriage changes you
When we’re in love, we easily overlook the flaws in the person we hope to marry. This is good when the flaw is small, but it’s bad when the flaw is more serious—such as a habit of rudely interrupting people or of not going to church. You might put up with a future spouse’s shortcoming because you think that once you’re married you’ll change the one you love. Don’t count on it. Irritations often become worse after we’re married, for our spouse is no longer trying to impress us. They’ve already won our heart.
the three Cs
I recently heard a speaker who had engaged in an immoral lifestyle in his younger years, but later received Jesus as his Savior. He now oversees a thriving ministry. In his talk, he described “three Cs” that should comprise intimate relationships.
sexual freedom
Nearly half of the children born in my country are born to unwed mothers. One million more are aborted each year. Teenagers can purchase over-the-counter “morning after” pills. Our Supreme Court has ruled that men may marry men and women may marry women, and anyone who says otherwise is injuring them. Few people think they should wait for marriage to have sex, and many who do marry still end up divorcing their spouse.
heart decisions
A young woman wrote: “I’ve fallen in love with an unbeliever, but I know it’s wrong. What should I do?” One of our authors posted her question and his answer on the ODJ website.
mr. right
In an online forum, one woman wrote: “I’m single, over 30, and under pressure from parents, friends, and just about everyone around me to get married. Haven’t met the right guy, but still praying to. I’m really looking for ways to cope with this and would really appreciate sound advice.”
you choose Q: how can I slow down a romantic relationship without triggering negative emotions?
Q: How can I effectively prevent triggering fear and insecurity of losing a fairly new relationship with man who wants to rush things? I am encouraging "waiting on God's timing," but am not able to effectively communicate it without triggering negative emotions. —J
A: Great question. It has a lot of complex parts to unpack—something we can’t do completely in this…
you choose Q: what advice would you give to a single person who's feeling lonely at church?
Q: What advice would you give a person who is the only single person in her entire church and is feeling left out and lonely? —Lisa
A: A single person is popularly defined as “one who is above 30 and unmarried.” I would prefer to see a single as “any person who is not in a marital relationship.” This would include…
idols of affection
In the final scene of the movie, the leading man—eyes brimming with tears—summarized his life to his girlfriend: no friends, no job, and a shady past. He had no family ties, no apparent faith in God. He really had only one thing—the love of his favorite girl, and he vowed lifelong devotion to her. To make her happy, he had refrained from violence, remained monogamous, and had stopped using certain unsavory words. Everything he did and planned to do revolved around the beautiful starlet he’d fallen for.
July 15, 2013
Why is it wise for us to seek people of high character in our closest relationships?
true love
When I stopped by a nearby restaurant to pick up some food, a guy and a girl standing in the parking lot caught my attention. Their arms linked together, the guy craftily reached to place his hand between her legs. My heart sank, and I began to pray that they know the beauty of glorifying God with their bodies (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5).
you choose Q: I've fallen in love with an unbeliever . . . what should I do?
Q: I've fallen in love with an unbeliever, but I know it's wrong. What should I do? —Keliya
A: Keliya, your heart is obviously torn in two over this relationship. On one hand, you're strongly drawn to a young man. This is understandable, for—as a human being—he bears the image of our Creator God. Apparently, your boyfriend also possesses some qualities that…
sacred flames
In November 2011, Mike and Nancy Rogers were married as the lodge in which they were supposed to be wed burned to the ground behind them. The blaze destroyed the beautiful building—including a kitchen, conference center, pool, and guesthouses—as the wedding party retreated to another building for the ceremony. The wedding gifts and flowers were destroyed, but Nancy said, “We lost all that stuff, but that’s not important to us. We got the most important things.”
you choose Q: what about being married to a nonbeliever?
Q: I would like to get more information on being married to a nonbeliever. —Mary
A: If you are asking if it is permissible for a Christian to marry a nonbeliever, then the answer is no. The Bible makes it clear that our marriage partner must be a believer in Jesus (2 Corinthians 6:14-16), one who “loves the Lord” (1 Corinthians…
