controlled or controlling?
At the start of this year, a friend of mine made a statement that set the tone for the rest of my year. Nicola remains convinced that “control” is at the root of many of our internal struggles—with self-control being the most challenging to master. We get angry or lose heart when we can’t control people or circumstances. We lack discipline and lose control over our own thoughts, words, or actions, and spiral into a self-destructive cycle—hurting ourselves and others.
a time to . . .
When grocery store owner William Straw died unexpectedly in 1932, the family of this man from Worksop, England, was devastated. In their grief, they chose to leave William’s red brick house precisely the way it was the day he died. Over the years, Straw’s two sons lived there, keeping the house in immaculate condition—leaving their father’s coats and hats by the front door, his soap in the bathtub, and unopened cans of sardines and beans in the pantry. In 1991, the last surviving son died, leaving the house to the National Trust. The Trust now allows visitors to view William Straw’s house as an example of English life from 80 years ago.
the need to know
Why? Our 10-year-old son is especially adept at asking this question with great frequency. Because his questions have moved from innocent curiosity to occasional open challenge, my husband and I have chosen not to overlook the habit. Paying close attention, I realized Micah was asking questions not to gain understanding but in order to gain information so he could negotiate his way out of whatever we had asked him to do.
my greatest enemy
A Christian leader was once asked: “Who is your greatest enemy?” He replied, “Every morning I see him in the mirror.” Perhaps that’s the real reason why some of us are facing challenges in our marriage, school, work, or church. The person who’s giving us a hard time isn’t our spouse, our boss, or someone else. We are our own worst enemy.
waiting in worship
I’ve never been exceptionally good at waiting. While I’ve learned that waiting can only be productive if I have set the desires of my heart on the things of God, lately He’s been working on my attitude in the waiting.
not fair?
Today was a bit surreal as I sat with a friend in the doctor’s office, awaiting the results of her biopsy. You can talk about family plans, discuss the weather, and ask how the day went. But when it’s all said and done, all you really want to know is the truth.
tempted to control
I’ve never stood in high places or wielded authority over the masses, but in my little corner of the world I’ve felt its pull. Whether I’m trying to keep my heart from pain, make my husband agree with me, or prevent my children from experiencing hardship, the root is the same—control. We all face (and at times succumb to) the…
living without religion
An advertisement recently went up near my hometown that read: “You don’t need God to hope, to care, to love, to live.” The advertisement was part of a national advertising campaign by a group that calls itself Living Without Religion. While I don’t support the group’s specific agenda, I’m all for living with less religion.
At its core, Christianity is…
till death
Part of the joy of being a pastor is walking alongside of couples as they step into marriage. Few experiences touch the soul more than the wonder and joy (and fear) of embracing life with another person.
At the center of the wedding ceremony is the moment when each person turns to the other and states a vow— a promise…
relinquish control
When I originally met the little Ugandan boy who eventually became my son, my goal was simply to keep him alive. After he overcame malnutrition and recovered from a long list of diseases, however, my dreams for his life quickly became bigger.
For example, the first time my son—as a mere 5-year-old—petted a horse, I immediately visualized him becoming the…
bogged down
My computer has become a test of my patience. Beyond sluggish, it takes at least 10 minutes to boot up due to it being infected with viruses and malware. Being an impatient, impulsive button-pusher, I have to walk away after I turn it on. Otherwise, I’m tempted to hurry the process by striking a key too soon. Trying to keep…
keeping up appearances
A young woman was living the high life in Beijing. She resided in a private villa, danced her weekends away, and had her own chauffeur. But she lost it all when new comrades rose to power and threw her father out of his government office. The young woman, however, was not exactly humbled. When friends offered to pay her rent…
the pilot seat
An F16 fighter jet is an amazing aircraft with incredible capabilities. But there’s one thing that a jet pilot requires above all else: The F16 must respond to his control.
God has much to say in Deuteronomy about why He must be at the controls of our life. The book is the story of Israel’s renewed covenant with God—one that…
inside information
Tiptoeing mischievously toward me, my son leaned down and placed something near the base of the chair where I was sitting and then scampered away. Looking down, I smiled at his childlike belief in my supposed ignorance. There on the floor was the homing unit to his spy gear listening device. Though he would hear little more than the turning…
unseen
I never thought of myself as having control issues—until I got married. Somehow blending two lives into one exposes how much we want things our way. From the way I like the covers tucked (or not tucked) at night to how we made decisions, I wanted things done in a way that made me feel comfortable. Exposing my need for…
