Q: Is God concerned and involved in our choice of marriage? —Olabisi
A: Yes, God is concerned about who we choose to marry. The Bible clearly states that God wants us to marry someone of the opposite sex who shares our same faith (Matthew 19:4-6; 1 Corinthians 6:14-16). He desires for us to pick a mate whose primary allegiance is to Christ and His Kingdom. He longs for us to marry a person of good character. And He wouldn’t want us to marry someone who would cause us to compromise our character (1 Corinthians 15:33).
Within these parameters defined in God’s Word, however, God also allows for individuality and the liberty for us to take into consideration personal preferences and interests (hair color, personality type, etc.). Even though He gives us a great deal of latitude as to the spouse we may choose, He still wants to be included in the decision making process. He wants us to ask for His guidance and confirmation as we go about making such a monumental decision. —Jeff Olson
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mike wittmer on May 25, 2012 at 11:15 am
This is wise advice, Jeff. Too often Christians think there is only one right person for them to marry and don’t realize that God gives them freedom to choose between many possible spouses. At the same time, there are guidelines, so we’re not allowed to just marry anyone. And like anything else in life, some people will make better spouses than others, and we all want the best.
tom felten on May 25, 2012 at 3:13 pm
And, Mike, I would add that God wants the best for us—that’s why He gives us both parameters and freedom within them!
soundsofsunday on October 25, 2012 at 2:55 pm
Hi There,
I really enjoyed reading this Q/A and appreciate the Biblical foundation of the responses. I too believe that God gives us great freedom in our lives, including in who we choose to marry.
However, I have a slightly different take. I believe that God has a detailed and specific plan for our lives, and that plan includes if/who we are to marry. Much like God let Adam/Eve choose to eat/not eat the fruit in the Garden, God lets us choose the direction that our lives will take.
Taking a slightly deeper look into the Adam/Eve story, the Bible tells us that Jesus, the Lamb of God, was slain before Adam/Eve made their choice. Was Jesus literally slain? No. But God already had the plan for salvation, long before redemption was needed. Why? Because God, in His omniscience, knew what Adam/Eve would choose.
Bottom line for me is this: why would God not know which spouse we will choose, since it is such an important part of our lives? Truly, He does care and He does know our spouse’s name, even before we choose.
That said, I think God’s omniscience doesn’t trump our free will to choose. So as we align ourselves with His will for us (our choice), He brings us in line with what He desires for us.
Just some thoughts. What do you all think?
Blessings!!!!
tom felten on October 26, 2012 at 9:35 am
Thanks for sharing, soundsofsunday. One thing we can know for sure is that God is omniscient. He is also all-wise. So when we’re striving to know whether or not we should consider marriage to someone we’ve been dating, it’s essential that we bring it to Him in prayer! Second, seeking the wise counsel from mature Christians we know is also a great and very biblical idea.