Lately, I’ve found the theme of my life to be: stop looking to the right or the left. As a mother of two, I often hear “It’s not fair.” Time and again I tell my kids to stop focusing on what the other is doing or not doing. When I tell them to trust my heart for them the words come with depth and sincerity. I can see it so clearly—why can’t they? How ironic that my instruction to them is the very lesson the Lord keeps bringing home to me. In the place of being pressed and molded, my first reaction is to say, “Why me?” Especially when I give the Lord my list of all the ways I’ve been obedient to Him as well as my list of who needs His retooling more than I do.
I know the right answer, but getting my flesh to submit doesn’t happen through an assent with my mind. Needless to say, I’m asking Him to change my heart. I realize my struggle is not so much with the events transpiring in my life as much as it is my willingness to trust God with everything. I can choose to look to my left or my right and compare my life with others or I can face forward and focus on Him. He’s using difficult places to purify my motives, and I’m learning to ask myself some hard questions. It’s all too easy to spiritualize why I invest my time and energy the way I do—both at home and at church. But when the heat turns up in the Potter’s furnace, hidden motives rise to the surface.
So, if you see me sweating, the fire’s getting hot, but I refuse to be left half-baked. The beauty is learning He is as relentless in His love as He is in His lessons. Why get distracted when there’s so much to look forward to?
j marie on March 6, 2009 at 9:59 pm
I often wonder if God looks at me, wishing He didn’t have to keep reminding me to, “keep your focus on Me; don’t worry about what other people are doing; have you spent time with Me today?; look, I’m right here, patiently waiting; or she made that same mistake again.” But then I remember that I’m only that lump of grey clay that He loves and wants to make something quite beautiful. Seeking to stay on the wheel, keep my focus on the Potter, and love Him back.
regina franklin on March 6, 2009 at 11:01 pm
I can relate. Two images come to mind when I wonder if God gets frustrated with my feeble efforts. When our children learned to walk by taking those tenuous first steps, my husband and I didn’t throw our hands up in disgust when they tottered and fell. We placed them back on their feet and cheered them on. I also think about my kids waking up each morning. I don’t want them to face each day wondering if they are going to disappoint me. I want them to embrace each day with great expectation knowing I will be there to live it with them. As they grow, they come to know my heart for them and trust that I will be there to redirect them when they get off course. It’s in these images that I see God’s heart toward me. His love is overwhelming.