In June, my husband and I will celebrate 2 years of marriage, most of which have been complicated by my illness(es). I was sick before we married, but have become a lot worse over the last year and a half, causing me to sometimes fall into deep depressions where I feel sorry for myself… and for HIM, believing he has gotten a “raw deal”. The extent to which I can participate in the life we enjoyed prior to getting married has been greatly diminished.
My doctor visits, hospital stays and medications are beyond our ability to pay – causing me to surmise that I am little more than a tremendous expense and burden. I can’t even help pay these bills because I can’t get a job outside of the home (or find one I can do at home). Still, I try to be thankful that I can, at least, ‘contribute’ SSDI.
My husband has never complained about my medical expenses or done anything to suggest that I am a burden, and he regularly reminds me that he loves me very much, but I often have great difficulty believing him.
This is why your story about the woman with a crooked mouth really hit home for me; and although the woman’s reaction to her husband lovingly contorting his mouth to accommodate hers is not described, I think her example is also important to the story, to marriage, and to me. She could have turned her face away from him in shame and self-pity, but she didn’t – she met his lips. How cool is that? 🙂
Our emotions can create a false reality for us if we let them take the place of God’s reality. I believe we also need to do our part by relying on His strength to avoid succumbing to negative, destructive emotions.
Debi, your husband’s unconditional love for you surely reflects the depth of your love for him. Thank you for touching my heart and other members of the ODJ community with your transparency. Please know that we will be praying for you—that God would heal your body and keep your marriage solidly built on God, our Rock!
Thanks God for the love He has given me it sustain me in my 25 yrs of marriage and mine is not easy one i came across many trials in my marriage. Thanks for His word in I Cor. 10:13, I knew this bible passage by heart that when trouble comes i would remember it and always – God would push me to go on and overcome those obstacles. Praise God for His faithfulness!
hey Tom, I only learn about odj recently so my comments comes late but still your post really helps me and let me reflects on the all the blessing God has given me.
You really think that God’s love is like the guy in the video says. I don’t know how to gage it based on marraige. Mine will be coming to a close after over twenty years. I’ve never felt loved, not really. If your marraige can’t survive will Gods love remain the same for you?
Debi on March 20, 2010 at 3:44 pm
You made me cry… in a good way 🙂
In June, my husband and I will celebrate 2 years of marriage, most of which have been complicated by my illness(es). I was sick before we married, but have become a lot worse over the last year and a half, causing me to sometimes fall into deep depressions where I feel sorry for myself… and for HIM, believing he has gotten a “raw deal”. The extent to which I can participate in the life we enjoyed prior to getting married has been greatly diminished.
My doctor visits, hospital stays and medications are beyond our ability to pay – causing me to surmise that I am little more than a tremendous expense and burden. I can’t even help pay these bills because I can’t get a job outside of the home (or find one I can do at home). Still, I try to be thankful that I can, at least, ‘contribute’ SSDI.
My husband has never complained about my medical expenses or done anything to suggest that I am a burden, and he regularly reminds me that he loves me very much, but I often have great difficulty believing him.
This is why your story about the woman with a crooked mouth really hit home for me; and although the woman’s reaction to her husband lovingly contorting his mouth to accommodate hers is not described, I think her example is also important to the story, to marriage, and to me. She could have turned her face away from him in shame and self-pity, but she didn’t – she met his lips. How cool is that? 🙂
Our emotions can create a false reality for us if we let them take the place of God’s reality. I believe we also need to do our part by relying on His strength to avoid succumbing to negative, destructive emotions.
Thank you for another touching message.
tom felten on March 21, 2010 at 8:54 pm
Debi, your husband’s unconditional love for you surely reflects the depth of your love for him. Thank you for touching my heart and other members of the ODJ community with your transparency. Please know that we will be praying for you—that God would heal your body and keep your marriage solidly built on God, our Rock!
Debi on March 26, 2010 at 9:32 am
Thank you, Tom.
I need – and appreciate – any and all prayers on my behalf.
r. panahon on July 3, 2010 at 6:25 pm
Thanks God for the love He has given me it sustain me in my 25 yrs of marriage and mine is not easy one i came across many trials in my marriage. Thanks for His word in I Cor. 10:13, I knew this bible passage by heart that when trouble comes i would remember it and always – God would push me to go on and overcome those obstacles. Praise God for His faithfulness!
r. panahon on July 3, 2010 at 6:32 pm
hey Tom, I only learn about odj recently so my comments comes late but still your post really helps me and let me reflects on the all the blessing God has given me.
Zion..Dee on September 21, 2010 at 12:03 pm
Tom, you are blessed with this video. please , can i use it as one of my references in the new book i’m writing on marriage?
tom felten on September 21, 2010 at 1:24 pm
Zion..Dee, yes, feel free to reference the video in your book. I trust your writing is going well!
Invisible on September 21, 2010 at 5:02 pm
You really think that God’s love is like the guy in the video says. I don’t know how to gage it based on marraige. Mine will be coming to a close after over twenty years. I’ve never felt loved, not really. If your marraige can’t survive will Gods love remain the same for you?
tom felten on March 22, 2010 at 8:02 am
riri, it’s actually a video post (vlog). Simply click in the image above and it should play. Peace.