Rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10: How well do you love God? How well do you love others? Which number is lower?

Many Christians find it harder to love God than to love others because of two concerns: First, it’s difficult to talk to someone we can’t see. Second, we often seem too busy to read our Bible and pray. Who among us can’t sympathize with the mother who confessed that her days are so full of feeding, cleaning, and wiping that she finds little time to stop and sit in the presence of God?

And yet, I wonder if our questions present a false choice. Jesus said that loving God and loving neighbors are two inseparable sides of the same command (Matthew 22:37-39). John wrote that loving others is precisely how we love God, for “if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?” (1 John 4:20). And Paul argued that loving others is our most important job, for “the whole law can be summed up in this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’ ” (Galatians 5:14). Rather than to set loving God against loving others, Scripture declares that we love God by loving others.

Now, let’s bring this point home—literally. Martin Luther once said that our No. 1 neighbor is our spouse (Ephesians 5:21-30). It’s easy to play nice with people we see only occasionally, but how kind are we to those we live with? If we’re generous and patient with family—those we have long ago stopped trying to impress—then we can be confident that we do love God. Every hug and every kissed forehead is noticed by our heavenly Father. For when we love His children, we love Him.