My husband and I are cautious when it comes to our kids. We diligently try to find the balance between having appropriate boundaries without being outright control freaks. Friends, media, and social events have become powerful means of helping our kids learn discernment and character. I noted, however, that my prayers for our 6th grader increased when she went away on a school trip for 3 days, for she was beyond my reach. It made me realize that I often think I have things under control simply because my kids are within my sight.
The histories of both Judah and Israel prove that a nation that doesn’t teach the next generation the truth becomes a nation enslaved. Likewise, the training of our children isn’t something to be left for a day when we have more time or feel more capable. Without godly direction (which comes through the investment of our time and energy), our children become sheep without a shepherd (Zechariah 10:2).
Instead, we need to grasp tightly the importance of repeatedly telling them “again and again” the truths found in God’s Word (Deuteronomy 6:7). They won’t discover the truth found in Jesus simply by doing what we tell them to do or by remaining within the bounds of our control. They walk confidently and free when they know the One who sets them free. So as parents, we should:
• Follow Jesus and encourage our children to do the same (1 Cor. 11:1).
• Give our children room to learn from their mistakes as God disciplines them (Hebrews 12:7-11).
• Realize God will deal individually with our children (Ezekiel 18:20, 30).
Parenting can be downright scary some days. But even when our kids are beyond our view, they’re never beyond God’s reach.
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: John 6:22-40
More:
Read Deuteronomy 6:1-9 to see how we’re to make spiritual training a part of our everyday family life.
Next:
What is your greatest fear as a parent? How does God’s Word speak to your fear?
mike wittmer on July 18, 2011 at 7:31 am
This is the scariest part of my world. I desperately want my children to grow up and love Jesus, but I realize this is beyond my control. Thanks for this reminder to trust God. By the way, I went with my son on his sixth grade camp. You made a wise decision by staying at home!
regina franklin on July 18, 2011 at 1:24 pm
Dear Mike,
Thanks for letting me know I am not alone. Frequently the Lord reminds me that He loves them far beyond what I ever could.
Going to pass on the school trip again this year–I just spent the weekend with forty plus middle school kids at our church (my husband is a full time youth pastor). I am definitely feeling my age!
levikahn on July 18, 2011 at 10:38 am
We as parents are responsibile for the input to our children. Teaching our children Gods principles, commendments, & statutes is our responsibility. However the output from them is their choice and in Gods hands.
regina franklin on July 18, 2011 at 1:26 pm
Dear levikahn,
You give a good visual–that of input and output. Unlike a computer, though, our kids must come to a place of ownership in what they believe. While I have wished many times over for a formula for parenting, I have learned (and continue to learn) that relationships are rarely, if ever, a finished work.
daisymarygoldr on July 18, 2011 at 3:14 pm
Good post, Regina! We felt the same way when our fifth grader went away for three days to have an outdoor school experience. The Bible tells us to train our children in the ways of the Lord—so when they are older they will not depart from it. And even if some may stray away, they will eventually come back to the father’s house just like the prodigal son.
God our heavenly father is the best example to follow when it comes to training our children. He nurtures us like a gardener cultivating trees. The Psalmist describes children as olive trees (Psalm 128:3). Young children are like tender saplings. They need to be fertilized with God’s Word, watered by His Spirit, protected within a fence, and pruned frequently to form the right shape.
Then as our children develop deep roots to grow up tall and straight, we need not fear when they are beyond our reach. Now, they can no longer bend to make wrong choices but can flourish even in a culture with its negative influences. And like a large tree, they can protect the destitute; their fruits will refresh the needy, and the shade of their leafy branches will comfort the weary.
When we are dead and gone, our children will carry on the baton to serve God in their generation. Given this huge responsibility of molding the future, parenting can be scary… but it is encouraging to remember how the divine Gardener trains His children. My heart’s prayer for all our children is: “May our sons flourish in their youth like well-nurtured plants. May our daughters be like graceful pillars, carved to beautify a palace.” Psalm 144:12
winn collier on July 18, 2011 at 9:01 pm
Today, for the first time, I watched our nine year old boy walk alone back from a neighbor’s house a few blocks away. It was the first time we’ve let him do this. I thought about how quickly our influence over him and types of instruction for him are changing…