Checking the texting inbox on my phone, I understood my friend’s frustration when I read her message: “I am sick of unresolved conflict!! I can’t take it anymore!” Ironically, our Bible study the night before had been on peace. As I thought about her situation—and some of my own—I was reminded how easily conflict can arise and how difficult resolution can be.
In a world full of conflict, God’s Word stands in stark contrast with its reminders that “God blesses those who work for peace” (Matthew 5:9), and ”those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness” (James 3:18). Peter told his audience to be humble and loving, choosing to end conflicts by paying people “back with a blessing” (1 Peter 3:8-9). Peacekeeping and peacemaking are similar in many ways, and yet different. The primary emphasis in keeping peace is to maintain it by enforcement or supervision (v.11; Hebrews 12:14).
Making peace, however, means getting to the root of the issue. Colossians 1:20 teaches that for us to be reconciled to God, our sin can be removed only through the work of the cross (1 Peter 3:18). Peace comes with a price. To make peace also means we have to be content to lose control. Isaiah 26:3 reminds us, “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on You.” We can’t always make our circumstances or relationships peaceful, but we can find personal peace by:
• Recognizing that our peace is not measured by others’ choices, but by our own (Romans 12:18).
• Growing in our relationship with the God of all peace (2 Peter 1:2).
Peace will not be found in what we can maneuver to bring us comfort, but in what we surrender to God.
More:
Read John 14:26-27 to find out the role of the Holy Spirit in bringing real peace to your heart.
Next:
In what area of your life are you attempting to keep peace or make peace? Thinking of a conflict you are currently facing, what can you do to “live in peace”? Do you trust God to work out the conflict or are you relying on your own efforts?
jstabel on February 4, 2011 at 6:19 am
Like Jesus said,’in this world you will have trouble’-which makes us(christians) the ones who will always make and pursue peace but we would not be able to achieve this unless we allow the Holy Spirit to give us peace,only then can we ‘follow peace with all men’.
eppistle on February 4, 2011 at 9:30 am
I’m reminded of a “THOT” from the Daily Bread that was read to me when I was a child: “When you give a piece of your mind, you lose your peace of mind.” Pop psychology teaches to vent whatever is on our mind. The Bible teaches us “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29). So in other words, it’s not only important what we say, but how we say it. We should speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Love without truth is hollow sentimentality. Truth without love is a sounding gong (I Corinthians 13:1).
Elyza on February 4, 2011 at 7:05 pm
Aren’t these two statements somewhat contradictory?
Recognizing that our peace is not measured by others’ choices, but by our own (Romans 12:18).
&
Do you trust God to work out the conflict or are you relying on your own efforts?
regina franklin on February 5, 2011 at 10:28 pm
Dear Elyza,
Good question. I hope this explanation helps. When we look at the passage in Romans 12:18 (and the surrounding verses), we see that Paul demonstrates that when it comes to our relationships with others, we have a choice as to how we respond.
Finding Christ’s peace means my willingness to submit to His authority and respond with grace to those around me, even when their responses might evoke hurt or frustration.
As far as our efforts, scripture speaks to the issue of our willingness to extend grace and forgiveness to others, even so far as to seek reconciliation with those who are offended with us before bringing our offering of worship to the Lord (Matthew 5:23-24). God is the One who does the work, but He is seeking those who will respond. We can’t expect God to work out the conflict, if we are unwilling to forgive, respond with love, and even sometimes hold our tongue.
When it comes to conflict in a relationship, its very easy for us to see things from our perspective and to respond from that place. The Holy Spirit in us, however, enables us to see things from His view and respond with His heart.
5stars077 on February 9, 2011 at 5:06 pm
i am learning more and more with each passing day that how i deliver my thoughts have such a impact on those who are listening and that truly forgiving others seems to mean really forgiving myself and praying for others because god is the only one that can really forgive sins it is truly not my busniss what someone says or thinks of me or others but by allowing the holy spirt to give me courage to say what is kind and loving it seems conflict and anger just deslolve. in the past you could not have convinced me of this but i have to tell you its really is cool!! to see what happens when you give it to god !!!!!!!!!!
regina franklin on February 9, 2011 at 8:00 pm
Dear 5stars077–you make a great point about forgiving ourselves! Sometimes we’re so blinded by our anger at others that we have difficulty seeing that we might also be angry at ourselves.
Tonight, I came across this scripture in a study–1 Peter 3:8-9 which says, “To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing” (NASB). Interestingly, this follows a passage on marriage relationships. Family relationships (or those like family) can be some of the toughest to work through. But if God calls us not to return evil for evil or insult for insult, then He will equip us to do so.