What are the dangers of dating someone who is not a believer in Jesus?
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What are the dangers of dating someone who is not a believer in Jesus?
royaelty on November 1, 2010 at 7:58 am
u b placin ur rel’zhip wiv da LORD on da lyn n a rel’zhip wiv an unblyva wiv da hope of u changin da pazon iz lyk tryin 2 katch da wind,itz nt pozible 4 a human 2 change anoda…only da HOLY ZPIRIT kn du dat…da rel’zhip kud ztat n may end up a dizazta!
humility on November 1, 2010 at 9:18 am
for me,,its hard,,,and it is actually,,standing against the will of our Father,,take note His “perfect will” for us,, remenber 2Corinthians6v14
Do not keep company with those who have not faith: for what is there in common between righteousness and evil, or between light and dark?…
bstewart126 on November 1, 2010 at 9:44 am
God gave us these instructions for a reason. I’m a living testimony of marrying into this type of relationship and you will suffer and go through unspeakable heartache. It even caused me to stray away from God for many years in an attempt to make this type of relationship work. My husband claimed to be christian too (that’s not for me to judge though). If nothing else comes from the death of my marriage, I would like to at least seriously encourage people to seek god’s will. Peace, tranquility and harmony is there. God bless!
humility on November 1, 2010 at 10:41 am
i do agree with you bstewart126, i had once a bf for more than a year and he’s a muslim..it was really hard for me,,to choose between my Love with Christ and for him…i cant just choose,,it took a couple of months before i finally ended the relationship,,after God revealed to me what is His Will is for me,,i would not settle for anything that is less than my Father wants for me,,<3 <3
AManofGod on November 1, 2010 at 11:24 am
God puts us in the lives of different people for many different reasons. Humility maybe God wanted to test your faith or let you lead your mate to him. Bstewart126 maybe God wanted to show you that you should never stray away from him. Maybe your mate is a Christian….but maybe you didn’t seek God before you married him. Either way God has your hearts and will direct your lives. I don’t know much about Muslims but even they need to know the love of the Living God. Maybe your mates know it and maybe they don’t….but just as God saved and kept you he can reach and save and keep them. Be Blessed!
humility on November 1, 2010 at 2:35 pm
i did try leading my ex to Him but to no avail,it wasn;t really His will..after i broke up with him and then back again and then broke up,,,i finally just let him go,,for you AManofGod you are right He was testing my faith,..and now im very glad i choose Him..
AMFrett on November 1, 2010 at 5:26 pm
All of the above are good responses. I, too, was married to an unbeliever. I hoped he would change, but it never happened. You risk backsliding when you are unequally yoked. I choose this time to wait on God. He knows the hearts of all men and He knows who is right for you.
AManofGod on November 1, 2010 at 4:51 pm
Humility keep in mind that maybe God is preparing you and your ex for a possible reunion. If your ex turns to God and away from his ways maybe you can have a marriage that God would ordain. I have learned that when you do things out of God’s will even with the best intentions your plans will fail! Let God come in FIRST.,,,,then you follow! Just be sure to keep God’s will above your own.
silky333 on November 1, 2010 at 11:08 pm
I believe that the biggest danger would be the possibility of falling back into a sinful lifestyle. Also an obstacle or a non believer can stunt your own spiritual growth, and hinder your relationship with God. By the way I am new here, God Bless everyone and their relationships, both casual and personal.
lindagma on November 2, 2010 at 6:41 am
A mate that does not commit to Christ before you marry is highly likely to never make that change. If they do not before the marriage… when they want to do everything to please you… why would they do so later. You’ve already told them it’s not important to you by marrying them anyway. There are so many complications with being unequally yoked. Your own walk will suffer in an effort to please your mate. Your fellowship with other believers will be stifled… and there will be great conflict when it comes to how your children are raised. Marrying someone out of the faith is a pit you don’t want to jump into. Look to God for wisdom, be faithful to His word and He will bring you the right mate.
humility on November 2, 2010 at 2:32 pm
lindagma i say Amen to that 🙂
Invisible on November 2, 2010 at 7:18 am
The over whelming theme here seems to be that any unbeliever is not fit to marry a holy believer. That hurts. I’m the unbeliever who married the believer. He has done more to break and stomp on my heart than any unbeliever I was ever with.
I certainly haven’t been perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but neither did I bring him down or make him turn away from his faith. Two weeks before our wedding I nearly walked away because of a niggling feeling that something wasn’t quite right. He said he would let me go and not try to convince me to stay with him but begged me to believe because he was deeply concerned with my “spiritual state.” What he cared most about was my finding Jesus and “being saved.” The niggling doubts remained but two weeks later we were married. The lure? How unselfish that this man was willing to graciously let me go but he desperately cared about my soul regardless. It didn’t even take a week for that deeply loving and caring believer to begin stomping out any draw I might have previously felt to his faith and his God.
Yet I was the evil one because I didn’t buy into the God is love story? All unbelievers of the god of the bible are not depraived evildoers who will cause you to lose your faith. Sometimes the individual who cloakes themselves in the faith, tears down the ones who haven’t “made it yet.”
AManofGod on November 2, 2010 at 8:51 am
Invisible I hope you didn’t misunderstand my comments. The Bible teaches us to marry those we are equally yoked to but if you marry an unbeliever it does not say “get a divorce”! A Godly wife can be a blessing to an unbelieving husband. And it is well documented that Jesus walked with and taugh many people who were not saved when He met them. Consider this fact, Jesus came to reach and teach the unsaved. The saved people already have their names written in The Book of Life so Jesus wants to get MORE names in that book! I am sorry if you felt as though people made it sound EVIL to be an unbeliever…..maybe you just were not informed of all Jesus had done for you and WANTS to do for you! The good thing is that NOW you do KNOW and now you can ACT on that knowledge. It is better to learn while you are alive than to die without knowing Jesus!
humility on November 2, 2010 at 3:40 pm
my dear Invinsible, have you ever asked your better half why you got married anyways? have you thought that it was God’s Will to be married to your better half so that he/she can lead you to Him..? 🙂 ISAIAH 55:9 For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so My ways are higher than your ways and My thoughts higher than your thoughts.
humility on November 2, 2010 at 2:30 pm
AMAN OF GOD,you are certainly right with that,,our Father had said it,,it was His words,though that even when we dont listen,,its still is gonna be His will,,the Bible is teaching us to do the right decisions,and Divorcing a non believer is not hat it says,,the bible said it beforehand,,do not be unequally yoked with an Unbeliever,this is to make our life pleasing to GOd,,because HE himself is a Jealous God..
yup,i do agree right intentions but not the Father’s Will is still not pleasing to Him..reunion to my ex maybe possible by God’s Will,, now im praying to God that He will give me a man that loves Him more than me,,,cause if that man loves GOd more than me then it means he is the man,the perfect mate God planned for me,,, 🙂
Prisoner on November 3, 2010 at 4:21 am
Praise God! am new to this site. I have for along time desired to engage in a christian social newtwork like this and i thank the Lord i’ve found one. I’m already enjoying this conversation and getting some inspirational lessons. looking forward to participate later, may God bless you all.
thrsknndy on November 3, 2010 at 8:38 am
Dear Invisible,
I sincerely apologize if any christian has made you to feel inferior in any way. That would not be the will of our Lord at all. You see He loved me before I became His child and never once did He make me feel inferior or hurt my feelings. Instead He spoke to my heart with a gentleness that a mere mortal cannot and through that gentleness He won me to Him.
To explain the unequally yoked analogy, In the day this scripture was written oxen were used to do much of the heavy pulling and plowing. Sometimes mules, horses, donkeys and othe beasts were used to do the heavy work. As long as they were yoked together with one of their own kind they worked well understanding the same commands from the person holding the reins. For a christian this of course would be the Lord. But can you imagine the chaos that would happen if you yoked an oxen and a donkey together? One being much stronger than the other would certainly pull in it’s direction and the other would not be useful in pulling and actually be another weight for the stronger to pull. Two people who work together but speak 2 different languages without an interpreter, how much will they accomplish?
I own a Pit Bulldog that is very strong. They can be trained to pull sleds with weights on them. Yoked with another Pit Bulldog they can pull even more weight and work well together. But can you imagine the Pit Bull yoked with a cat? Somethings are readily visible.
I can tell you that I ran into a similar situation in a church that I started attending about 18 years ago. One of the leaders there was the most narcissistic people I have ever met. We finally came to a huge disagreement. I was hurt by this person more that I was ever hurt by anyone outside the chrch. Had I not had my eyes on Christ instead of people I would have left the church and never came back. Thankfully the Lord opened the doors to another church for me and I have never looked back. That time still crosses my mind but I do not dwell on it because I know that the Lord will deal with her about what she has done just as He will deal with me about what I have done. People will fail you but Christ will not.
I had a pastor once who said “The devil knows where your goat’s tied”. For us women it’s ususlly in matters of the heart. The devil is heartless and will attack us through those we care about wether they are christian or not.
I did not see in your post that you have become a believer. If not then your presence on this network leads me to believe that you are still searching. I will be praying for you.
womanof god on November 3, 2010 at 9:56 pm
I once had an experienced a relationship with someone who didn’t have the same faith. It was real hard. I tried to take him to the church. He wanted to go but I didn’t know how his true feeling to God. After a few months, I ended up our relationship. And after that, I have a relationship with my church friend
Emdyey on November 4, 2010 at 2:01 am
Wow..God is really amazing….. I have an experienced too before, because of wrong relationship little by little i didnt notice that im too far away from God..and the time came i need to choose between her and God, its not easy to let go of someone you love and been together for 3yrs, but still God is good, He never let me fall into deeper trouble, what if we already married??? Still God made a way to reach me, and i Know i made the right decision of Choosing God and letting her go…im still single at 29 but im happy brcause of HIM…
im in on November 4, 2010 at 11:52 am
thank God for this post. I’m currently facing same situation on this. it’s so tough and i found out that i was strayed away from God. I cant accept this kind of feeling. I cant even imagine how it is going to be in the future if we were together.
I am not sure is this concept correct or not “you are what you choose”. i choose to believe that if im a true believer, im sure i could hardly accept a non-believer. Is there any exceptions such as leading the non-believer to God? God’s instruction is clear. CANNOT company with them. but the question is why do we give non-believer a chance, which is over the relationship of being as a casual friend?
I remembered a pastor did told me that being patient is important, it’s to wait for the right mate on the right time which is God’s timing.
We have to protect our heart. We need a pure heart from God. Be persevere. May God bless all who seek for His faithfulness and His everlasting endure love!
adeola on November 8, 2010 at 2:32 am
These are all very practical responses. I do appreciate how everyone chose to share their experiences.
Funny enough, it is easier to criticise other believers when you see then in such relationships.
Earlier in my life, I never understood what it was like to be involved with an unbeliver. I used to think, that once you define your relationship, you are to a large extent secured.
However, I had a close friend who was an unbeliever. Although I defined the relationship, as time went on, i realised I that I had deep emotions and feelings for him. I wanted more than friendship. Deep down inside me, I knew we could never get married and I also made this clear to him.
At some point in my life, I evaluated myself and realised that I had strayed away farther than I ever knew. I would not say I was bold enough to end the relationship because I wasnt, and each time my weakness was presented to me, I prayed to God to help me out of the situation I had gotten myself into.
Now, he has travelled out of the country and of course that has created a great distance between us. A welcomed distance that I am using to the fullest. I am gradually finding my way back to having a relationship with Christ.
So my friends, when the Bible tells us something, let us all save ourselves the stress and pain by complying. Obedience, is really better than sacrifice.
pmexinia on December 11, 2010 at 10:37 am
I married young and divorced young, single parent of two kids. I always tired to lead my ex husband to Christ and believed it for a while, but then he just couldn’t leave the worldly things. After the divorce I dated, but never asked God because I believed all men were the same. A few yrs passed met a Catholic man, great in every way, but I was in College and my kids lived with my parents so I could finish my last semester in school. When my kids came to live with me we had so many problems, we never married, but tried living together and it didn’t work. I am not saying he is to blame, but I was asking God to show me and he did. I moved to Wyoming to try to not think of him. It didn’t happen so then I went to Texas and visit him in September and thought it was perfect, but once I came back we ended it again. I prayed and being that I felt that I needed a man started dating again, and again he doesn’t want church part of his life, he said he believes in God and has faith, but when going to a christianbook store he said he wouldn’t go with me because its boring. I have turned to God for guidance to bring me the man he wants because I want to be loved and my kids to be loved too. They do not see their dad, but once a year. I am tired of hurting so been praying for a man of God! Bless all you for your comments.
AManofGod on December 11, 2010 at 7:46 pm
Pmexinia if you look to a man to give you joy and happiness I can guarantee you that you always be disappointed! ALWAYS!
Look to God for the joy and happiness that you so richly desire. I married and sought the same things from my wife and when she could not give them to me I was devasted! Only God can give us that fulfilling feeling of completenes that we seek. God may bring you a mate to provide companionship but only He can give you never ending joy!
AManofGod