According to psychologist Abraham Maslow, man’s basic needs are physiological—oxygen to breathe and food to eat. According to Jesus, man’s basic needs are spiritual—to be forgiven and to forgive.
With the same tenacity and intensity that we ask for God’s provisions (Matthew 6:11), we must also seek His pardon. This means asking Him to forgive us of our sins and to enable us to forgive those who have sinned against us. “Forgive us our sins” is an explicit prayer for God’s forgiveness. “As we have forgiven those who sin against us” is an implicit prayer for a forgiving spirit (Matthew 6:12).
Commenting on this, Bible teacher Haddon Robinson wrote, “Augustine labeled this request for forgiveness ‘the terrible petition,’ because if we harbor an unforgiving spirit while we pray to be forgiven in the same way as we forgive others, we are actually asking God not to forgive us.”
Perhaps that’s why Jesus, immediately after teaching His disciples this prayer, stated clearly what was at stake for those who pray it. In fact, this is the only request He elaborated on. He warned, “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15).
While our salvation is not based on our goodness in forgiving others (Ephesians 2:8-9), our personal fellowship and intimacy with God is dependent on the understanding that we have been forgiven much (Luke 7:40-47). And one who knows that he has been forgiven much will love much (Luke 7:47). Jesus is talking about family forgiveness.
Just as the Father has forgiven us, we should forgive our brothers and sisters. For if we are truly forgiven, we will also be forgiving.
More:
• Matthew 18:21-30
• Colossians 3:12-15
Next:
Why is it hard to forgive certain people? What will you do today to forgive someone based on God’s forgiveness of you?
hollyanna on September 17, 2010 at 12:45 am
How easily we forget how ‘stuck’ we get when we won’t forgive. Thank you for sharing.
caxtell on September 17, 2010 at 2:20 pm
Thank you for this! I know and understand this but seems that I still hold on to some things that keep me from that true right real relationship with him.
Glory on September 17, 2010 at 4:00 am
To be forgiven and to forgive.
Very true we have to forgiven and to forgive. How about we have forgive but the person don’t want to forgive and accept the forgiven?
Hold to the word of God love your enemy as you love yourself.
God have to touch the person.
lindagma on September 17, 2010 at 6:12 am
I find it easier to forgive those who have hurt me… rather than the ones who have hurt the ones I love… especially my grandchildren. You are very right, we must recognize what we have been forgiven much… the superior attitude will get you every time.
edwerd on September 17, 2010 at 9:13 am
I wish I could be more forgiving toward those who seem so wrapped up in traditions we have set up apart from the word of God and then expect me to abide by them. I find myself blaming them for “forcing” me to do things their way (mostly in the areas of directionality – I had to turn my microwave oven upside down to get it to open on the side I wanted because they all open on the right when right side up – and English spelling – which I find to be distastefully unphonetic).
enzadmd on September 17, 2010 at 9:49 am
it is easy to forgive especially those whom you love..but the hardest past is forgetting everything…that sometimes i’m having relapses..feeling the hurt and pain again..so many why’s but no answers are enough to understand why it has to happen…
Lamont on September 17, 2010 at 11:36 am
I try and remember the foul, sinful things that I have done in my past — and present — and how awful it felt/feels to be separated from God.
I remember the grattitude and sense of confident reasurrance I have felt/feel when I have asked God, who loves, is patient and slow to anger, to forgive me.
My adversaries and those who have treated me with ill will, need my foregiveness just as I have needed it from God. I am not better than they. Sometimes I have to work hard to get to this frame of mind.
Forgetting is another matter. I don’t hold grudges but I don’t put myself into a circumstance where I can be hurt again.
EdyCerone on September 17, 2010 at 1:16 pm
Difficult to forgive others that hurt you, but it has put my husband in deep depression. I know it is better to forgive so you can move on. You are doing this for yourself. Ask yourself…what will I gain from holding on to this? What will I get if I let go of this and forgive. I don’t feel forgiveness says you will forget. It just helps you inside to let go of the angry, bad, sad, and scared feelings that you have because someone did something wrong to you. There is nothing that you can do to change that. Is is their fire..so let go of it before it burns you. This is easier said than done, but do you want to allow them to control your feelings everyday? If you don’t forgive them, that is what you are doing. I thought of something this week. No one likes to be betrayed, but even Christ was betrayed. Lots of stories in the Bible are about how unkind others are to them, but their are lessons to be learned from them. Do the forgiveness for yourself to free up all that energy you are giving to someone or something that has already injured you enough. No, it is not easy, but it will be easier on you in if you will start today and just take babysteps. I needed to see this…forgive and forgiveness today. Somedays it is difficult for me not to want to go back. God put this in my path today so that I would be reminded to FORGIVE!
EdyCerone on September 17, 2010 at 1:19 pm
Oh and to the person that said they had relapses…I think we all do, but each time we relapse it gets easier and easier to get away from holding on to the hurt.
Also…there instead of their above and and leave the “in” out in the sentence at the end…please forgive me that I didn’t proof this prior to writing. 🙂
daisymarygoldr on September 17, 2010 at 3:29 pm
K. T. Sim you have a touched a truth that is so very vital to living a victorious Christian life! “Family forgiveness” is not limited to just the biological family but extends even to brothers and sisters within our spiritual family i.e. those who have hurt or wronged us in Church.
Jesus explained this so explicitly in the parable of the unmerciful servant (Matt 18). If we have experienced God’s mercy we will also show mercy to others. If we refuse to forgive others, then our Father will not forgive our sins but will hand us over to tormentors who will then make us pay for our sins!
An unforgiving spirit is from the devil which will bring along other more wicked ones to oppress us—namely guilt, shame, self-condemnation, fear, doubt, confusion, insomnia, and depression due to every other form of mental and emotional stress!
Forgiveness is the key to emotional healing. It is from God who will also enable us to forget.
Regardless of whether an apology was offered, when we forgive, we literally clean the slate of the offender and let go of our hold over that person. Bitterness and pain will then be replaced with God’s unconditional love for those who hurt us.
By readily forgiving we simply stoop to conquer!
tom felten on September 17, 2010 at 10:22 am
JT, it must be very difficult living with a Father who has wounded you and other family members so deeply. I’m praying for you and I’m sure many other ODJ community member will be too. Peter reminds us that we can reveal Jesus to unbelievers by the way we live, and when we do “they will see [our] honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when He judges the world” (1 Peter 2:12). May God give you all you need to live out His reality!