I don’t remember exactly how old I was, but it was a moment I’ve never forgotten. Cooling off after a hot summer day, my family had gone swimming at a friend’s house. Because I didn’t know how to swim, I was trying to maneuver the water by wearing a life jacket that awkwardly grazed my chin. Looking for security, I lunged for my mom as she swam by. When my fearful grasps took her under, she pushed me away to catch her breath. Upset, I didn’t understand what she knew—the life jacket would keep me afloat.

As the body of Christ, we’re called to be in relationship with one another. Galatians 6:2 tells us, “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.” But, in our humanity, we often reach for the tangible person next to us rather than depending on God—our Creator—to sustain us. An unhealthy dependence on another person can stifle us spiritually.

We may convince ourselves that we can’t go forward without others—always needing someone with us or needing another person’s approval. But this leads to a spiral of hopelessness and away from our security in God. For when we seek ultimate safety in another person, we’re trusting in someone just as full of faults as we are. Psalm 146:3 states: “Don’t put your confidence in powerful people; there is no help for you there.”

We won’t fully depend on Jesus when we’re holding on to others. Proverbs 29:25 says, “Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety.” Restoring our relationship with God, Jesus was “beaten so we could be whole” (Isaiah 53:5). When it comes to finding our sense of security, the cross should be the first and only place we look.