When one of my sons was a young boy, he carved some words into a pristine piece of wood. Unfortunately, the beautiful board was part of our baby grand piano. Needless to say, my wife and I were not delighted with his newly honed woodworking “skills.” He soon discovered that the destruction of another person’s property leads to being disciplined. You might say he had to “face the music” for defacing our music maker!
God’s Word plainly states that to discipline a child is vital for their growth and maturation: “Those who love their children care enough to discipline them” (Proverbs 13:24). We also read that God disciplines us for our own good and because of His love for us (Deuteronomy 8:5; Hebrews 12:6). To imitate His example means that the disciplining of our children isn’t an option—it’s required.
So how can we do it in a way that honors God and provides the right kind of correction for our kids? The apostle Paul provides some great insight with a little negative and positive “reinforcement” found in Ephesians 6:4:
The Negative. “Do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them.” This teaching was radical for the patria potestas (absolute father authority) society of Paul’s day. It called for fathers to be considerate of their children’s feelings. “Provoking” children leads them to become resentful and unwilling to receive correction. A Christlike parent will encourage and discipline in love.
The Positive. “Bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” Children should be tenderly corrected and instructed at home—being brought up in ways that reflect the way our loving God delights and disciplines us.
Children need discipline. They need to face the music. Just make sure you’re providing loving correction, not provoking them to destruction.
More:
Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged (Colossians 3:21)
Next:
What does godly discipline accomplish? How does God discipline you in love?
GiGi on April 2, 2010 at 7:13 am
Working with adolescents and their families, there is a constant need for this reminder. I find that not only do children need discipline, but they want discipline and structure. Instinctively, they know this is proof of their parent’s love.
tom felten on April 2, 2010 at 7:41 am
GiGi, this is so true. Without boundaries, kids are lost. It’s a lot like adults who try to make it in life without submitting to God’s instruction and discipline. We’re lost without it. I’m thankful that we can trust God and His Word. We don’t have to try and make up the rules for us and our kids (playing God). Instead, we have the joy of following God’s perfect commands that lead to life!
Gary4orphans on April 2, 2010 at 9:53 am
Tom: So true. And it isn’t only when they are little. One of my adult kids, raised to know better, is living in a way he shouldn’t and he knows it. I can’t send him to his room and take away video games anymore but his mother and I have told him we do not accept what he is doing and our conduct toward him is consistent with that stand. We are civil toward him but that’s all. We don’t fellowship with him because we are not going to empower his sin by making it seem that his sin OK with his mother and me. It isn’t! He is slowly beginning to recognize that. At first he told us we were unloving toward him, he now understands it is BECAUSE we love him that we can’t embrace what he is doing. They never get too old to need some guidance.