Hey ODJ family! This is Marvin Williams. As a pastor and writer, there are a number of voices that inspire me to walk with Jesus more closely. One of those voices is Julian Newman, lead pastor of Renaissance Church in Sacramento, California. This post, that he wrote today, beautifully describes his own journey with Jesus. I know it describes mine, and I have a sneaky suspicion that it describes yours as well.
Yesterday I wrote of God’s development of my life and character during this decade. And while it is true that God was able to do these things, so much of it was such a back and forth struggle. Me struggling against God’s plan, God’s process, and God’s purpose.
Me working to find a shortcut, an alternate route, or another way. Me negotiating His crystal clear commands into cushy soft compromises.
And at the very same time I have struggled with Him, He’s been struggling with me. Having to corner me, sending me down a dead-end street just to get my attention. Tackling me, tripping me, taking me down when I ran in the wrong direction. Allowing me to feel the pain of the choices that I made, making sure I would never forget.
I struggled because I thought I knew better, He struggled because He knew He did. I struggled because I was a rebel, He struggled because He loved me in spite of it. I struggled because of my lack of faith, He struggled because He is always faithful.
Struggling with God is costly, agonizing, and exhausting. And the crazy thing is, when we struggle with God, we only win when we lose.
This coming decade I don’t want to struggle and wrestle with God. I just want to surrender, believe, and go where He is leading.
Thank you for letting me share this with you. I hope your were moved, challenged, and encouraged by this post as much as I was.
ladybeth366 on December 16, 2009 at 5:30 pm
“I struggled because I thought I knew better, He struggled because He knew He did. I struggled because I was a rebel, He struggled because He loved me in spite of it. I struggled because of my lack of faith, He struggled because He is always faithful. And the crazy thing is, when we struggle with God, we only win when we lose.”
If only I could grasp that He is in control of my future, rather than having to be constantly reminded, over and over.
Every moment I think I’m casting all of my burdens over to Him, I take back the “reigns” just that quickly. My mouth utters the words I trust in Him and Him alone, yet I fear the future, the unknown, and don’t know what to do. How do we overcome the back and forth? I’ve been a “believer” for over 25 years, why do I find myself questioning everything? My circumstances are such that I have absolutely no control (unemployed) now, and where I’ll be living. I have no earthly security in the future. Have I made a wrong decision somewhere along the line, and now He’s really got my attention?
shayskin on December 21, 2009 at 7:14 pm
Thank You for those wonderful words of encouagement. I have been going through so much torment in the last few months since i had a accident at work on Juyly 24 now I am unemployed do to miss trust. God have my attention now because I do not have any income but my bills are being pay every month and I know it is a Blessing from God.
juliannewman on December 16, 2009 at 7:11 pm
Hello lady beth366.
Thanks for commenting on this post. I pray that it has brought a measure of encouragement to your life.
I think it is important to understand that though things are not where you would like them to be, they are not where they could be. You do have Jesus, even if the journey is desperately difficult.
I think all of us wonder why things happen the way they do, but going back to recount and recapture evey past failure or mistake is a lose/lose proposition. The past can’t be changed, but the future can be through the investments we make today. Call out to Jesus in this season of crisis. Fervently and honestly speak to Him about your need.
“If we reach out to Him, we will find Him because He is not far from any one of us.” (Acts 17:27)
Prayerfully speak to those you are in relationship with that could help. But beyond that, make Jesus your hiding place and your refuge. Let His Word fill your mind and your thoughts. In times of challenge, our faith becomes much more than a 5 Letter word.
I will be praying for you ladybeth366. I am praying right now.
Julian
learning2serv on December 17, 2009 at 1:04 pm
“I have a sneaky suspicion that it describes yours as well.” Nothing sneaky about that suspicion, thanks for the manna!
Marvin, your post today and Mike W’s a couple of days ago shows the “growth” of ODJ. I appreciate the sharing of a guest writer (who took the time to reply, a beautiful touch, thank you Julian for sharing), and the inclusion of a video (which was very timely – Mike, I haven’t forgotten).
I stand in awe of the Lord who has done such a great work in the hearts of you all, His servants. Please don’t be falsely modest – your gifts have made room for you.
I thank God for the gift that He has given me in each of you, in the readers that share, in those who work behind the scenes in insuring the “techie stuff” gets done (I’m a techie myself), in the supporters who share their treasure.
My own life has been enriched and encouraged by being allowed to receive and share here.
May all of you continue to Be, Know and Do the peace of God. You have already made this a very Merry Christmas. -Mike Hale
learning2serv on December 17, 2009 at 1:07 pm
A correction: it was Tom Felton not Mike W. on Dec 9 who left the video blog which I saw. Thank you all, again.