In a recent email, a woman named Renee told me how she and her husband had unsuccessfully spent years trying to start a family. After numerous rounds of in vitro fertilization treatment and several years waiting to adopt, they were exhausted from the ordeal and considering bringing the journey to an end. Knowing that my wife and I had walked a similar path, Renee asked a question. “How do you give up on a dream of parenthood without regretting what might have been?”
As I started to share some advice, I realized something else was lurking behind Renee’s question. I told her that her fear could be summed up this way: “If we make the wrong decision, will our lives be ruined?”
I think that’s what we all fear when making a major life decision. We give way to worry, and “what if” questions haunt us: “What if a call from the adoption agency was only another day away?” “What if another potential spouse never comes along?” “What if I choose the wrong career?” We fear our lives will be ruined if we don’t make the perfect decision.
I shared with Renee the liberating news that the answer to her fearful questions was a resounding “No!” If we head in the wrong direction, God can still turn us around (Proverbs 3:5-6). If the dream dies before God chooses to act, He can resurrect it (John 11:23-44). Paul says that in this imperfect world “God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God” (Romans 8:28; see also Romans 8:18-23). If we love Him, He can make even a poor decision fit into the tapestry of our lives.
“Your life will not be over if you choose to end your search for a family,” I told Renee. “Trust Him to take you somewhere new; whatever you decide.”
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: Joshua 2:1-24
More:
Read James 1:5 to see God’s promise of wisdom, Philippians 4:6-7 to learn about God’s peace, and Proverbs 11:14 to understand the need to consult others.
Next:
How do you make decisions? How can you trust God even when things don’t go according to your plans?
LCC on February 28, 2015 at 12:26 am
Shalom. Thanks Sheridan for your article that came so timely as I am going through a season of making major decisions in my life. The many “what ifs” can cause lots of confusions, no peace and hinder us from actually hearing what He wants to say. God bless!
Sheridan Voysey on February 28, 2015 at 12:24 pm
I’m so glad this was timely for you, LCC. You’re right, those ‘What if?’ questions can be debilitating. Thank God he’s big enough to redirect us when we keep walking with him.
Mike Wittmer on February 28, 2015 at 8:46 am
Thank you for this wise, biblical counsel, Sheridan. God gives us more freedom than we’d sometimes like. As long as we obey his moral will, revealed in Scripture, we are free to marry and work and live wherever we want, without fear of missing a “best.”
Sheridan Voysey on February 28, 2015 at 12:27 pm
How many times have I tied myself up in knots by forgetting this, Mike. When God doesn’t guide us specifically following his general moral will gives us freedom to make any choice. Thanks.
Marlena Graves on February 28, 2015 at 8:53 am
This is really encouraging. Sometimes we make decisions to the best of our ability and still wonder if they are poor decisions. I do appreciate you say God can use our poor decisions. Yes, he can. And sometimes we make them knowing they are poor only to regret it later. God can still use it all!
Sheridan Voysey on February 28, 2015 at 12:27 pm
So true. Thanks Marlena.
gary1schelvan on February 28, 2015 at 9:47 am
Thank you Sheridan for this greatly beneficial posting of yours. I am going to share it with my younger brother Duane, who at 58 yrs of age is facing some major life decisions. He just recently took an early retirement from Lockheed Martin, has separated from his wife Monique of some 27 yrs of marriage and is having struggles with his alcohol drinking, alcoholism runs in our family. I’m sure your counsel will be a comfort to him. Thanks so much, blessings to you.
Sheridan Voysey on February 28, 2015 at 12:28 pm
I’ll be praying for Duane tonight, Gary. Hope this is helpful for him to move forward with God into freedom.
floyd on February 28, 2015 at 10:27 am
Friends of our adopted two boys but still wanted a third child, a daughter. The Adoption Agency did not respond to the request for a third child for just over twenty years. Then she came. Our friends admitted they were totally speechless when the official papers for adoption of their daughter was given to them. It is true, God’s plans never fail to come true.
Sheridan Voysey on February 28, 2015 at 12:29 pm
Twenty years! I bet your friends thought the dream had died a long time ago. Astounding.
Winn Collier on February 28, 2015 at 5:25 pm
What a great story.
nattykins on February 28, 2015 at 12:06 pm
Thank you for this devotional. I’m on the midst of making major decisions in my life. I love how God works like this. God Bless. 🙂
Sheridan Voysey on February 28, 2015 at 12:30 pm
These timely encouragements are a little reminder of God’s for us, nattykins.
Winn Collier on February 28, 2015 at 5:24 pm
I’ve just had an extensive conversation with someone paralyzed of ‘getting it wrong.’ The grace of God truly can set us loose from this trap.