Afriend opened up to me about the sexual abuse he suffered as a boy. Prompted by God to face what he had buried for decades, he courageously began to unpack tragic memories of seduction and exploitation, events that shattered his innocence and left him drowning in an ocean of shame.
For decades my friend mostly kept the abuse a secret. He feared that if people knew the details, they would turn away in utter disgust. Like all victims of abuse, it was in the details that he carried his deepest shame.
As he unfolded his story, the closing line from the book Dangerous Territory by Amy Peterson kept running through my head—“You are loved, you are loved, you are loved.” Later that same day, I emailed him those words. He read them over and over, and wept. Letting someone see his greatest shame allowed love to enter in and begin to touch what it alone can heal.
A woman once opened up to Jesus about where her life was most broken. In her case, it was a string of failed marriages and living with a man who wasn’t her husband (John 4:16-18).
Jesus asked her to “go and get [her] husband” (John 4:16). She initially tried to avoid the pain and disgrace of her past by saying “I don’t have a husband.” Jesus said, “You’re right! You don’t have a husband—for you have had five husbands, and you aren’t even married to the man you’re living with now. You certainly spoke the truth!” (John 4:17-18).
Not the response she expected.
In love, Jesus didn’t turn away in disgust. Instead, He led her to the details of her greatest shame—and it radically changed her life. The love of Christ can heal our shame when we bring it to Him and others who can lovingly help us work through it.
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: Matthew 1:1-25
More:
Read 1 John 1:9 and consider what God does when we bring our sin and shame to Him.
Next:
Do you or someone you know continue to wrestle with shame from past experiences? How can God and mature believers in Jesus provide the love, help, and healing that’s needed?
Gary Shultz on June 9, 2017 at 5:43 am
Hi Jeff: It is always a grieving thing to hear about what has been done toward someone. Someone who was not wanting what others did or put on them. Then there is the one who was the aggressor, the one who was engaged in hurting and crushing others lives. As in the passage today, just poor moral choices and continuing in them. I would expect we could all have the stamp of shame put on us at times, by our own actions. My question is, have we built a “trust wall” that others can see in us as a place to confide. Like Jesus we may have to perceive, and carefully unpack things with someone else. Would someone do that with me? What kind of love and trust relationship do we show to others who hurt. Of course if we are the ambassadors we should be, we should be engaged in life and people, enough to be bumping into people with needs and the Spirit will help stream the conversation or situation. Thanks Jeff, fishing’s good so far.
corgimom on June 9, 2017 at 6:04 am
Jeff, this really hit home. Recently my husband & i met a new pastor & his wife. They told us all about themselves, then asked, “How did you two meet?” Well, it’s not a story I’m proud of so I glossed over it by saying, “Oh, we met at work and we’ve been married 37 year,” successfully turning the conversation away from dangerous territory where someone might judge us by past behavior. But God knows my entire story and yet still loves me. I hope I can demonstrate that unjudgmental love to others, and in the process find personal peace with areas of my past and present that are sensitive. Thanks for this wonderful devotion.
don777 on June 9, 2017 at 8:07 am
We are all the Samaritan lady. Whether we admit it or not. We all fall short. The Grace & Mercy Christ has for us is what puts me on my face. My best works are filthy rags. His Love is amazing. Thank You Jesus. +>i
minkjh on June 9, 2017 at 1:33 pm
You’ve given us much to ponder here, Jeff. The woman at the well, now how would I have handled that chance meeting? The amazing thing about John’s account is that we see both the divine and human Jesus at work here. He’s given us the blueprint but in our fallen state it can be a tough act to follow. I’ve noticed at times that there’s a tendency to give some space to those who are outside one’s immediate family when dealing with controversy or sin. But we seem to zero in on those closest to us with all guns blazing when the opportunity to confront presents itself. Lord, help us speak the truth in love!