She glanced at him with a tender smile and began reading the carefully crafted words held in her trembling hands. The vows revealed a deep love for the young man standing before her. Toward the end of her lyrical, beautiful expressions, she said, “I promise to love you under all circumstances, the good times and the hard times—whatever it may be—for the rest of my days.”
A few minutes later, I had the privilege of turning the couple to face those in attendance and announce their new status as husband and wife.
The Song of Songs celebrates the passionate, intimate love of a married couple (Song of Songs 4:8-12). In a telling statement, the “Young Woman” declared, “I am my lover’s, and he claims me as his own” (Song of Songs 7:10). Her statement presents the joys of being in a covenantal, monogamous relationship with another person. It means giving all of oneself to the one you love: I am my lover’s. It means knowing that you belong to just one lover in marriage: He claims me as his own. It’s the beauty of being able to say, “I am my lover’s, and my lover is mine” (Song of Songs 6:3).
When a man and woman united in marriage and in Jesus share spiritual and emotional intimacy, physical pleasures can be experienced with joy and freedom. The young woman said, “Come, my love, let us go out to the fields. . . . There I will give you my love” (Song of Songs 7:11-12). The physical delights of intimacy are to be “saved” and shared only with one’s spouse (Song of Songs 7:13).
“I promise to do my best to love you as Christ first loved us,” said the groom on the day I married the young couple. His words were simple but profound. For love that’s pure, passionate, and true is best established and strengthened by Christ. That’s where love flourishes.
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: Matthew 26:57-75
More:
Read Genesis 2:24 and consider the fact that God designed sexual intimacy to be reserved for marriage.
Next:
How can spiritual and emotional intimacy in marriage lead to a healthy, flourishing sexual relationship? How does the love of a man and woman united in Christ reflect the love God has for us?
BearPair on September 22, 2016 at 1:10 am
Beautiful! ‘nuf said ;o)
Tom Felten on September 22, 2016 at 8:17 am
BearPair, I’ve seen many beautiful marriages during my life. None were perfect, but all were based in the both the man and woman seeking to love God with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength.
Gary Shultz on September 22, 2016 at 6:52 am
Hi Tom, I would probably want to lean more toward the BearPair comment. We have really not done well with that gift even in the church. In many places it has “overflow into the streets”. We would do well to keep our promises to God and man. Thanks Tom, WBP
Tom Felten on September 22, 2016 at 8:20 am
So true, Gary. By God’s grace alone can we love Him well and love a spouse well!
gagirllive on September 22, 2016 at 7:29 am
Tom, I echo BearPair: this is beautiful. Of course, all that God designs is. Our triune God has created us in His image as triune beings—body, soul, and spirit. Is it any wonder that He would design the marriage relationship in such a way to reflect tHis glory too? His design for a man and a woman is that intimacy be found within the inner chambers of their persons (soul and spirit) before their committed love is expressed physically in the consummation of the marriage bed. Because of the Fall, God’s beautiful design has been perverted, and sexual intimacy is now the starting point for too many relationships—sadly, even within the Church. Unlike the bride and groom in your devotional whom I assume saved themselves for marriage, I have gone to quite a few weddings where the ceremony was just a formality. It is quite remarkable, however, to witness a relationship done right. It is then that the picture of Christ and His Bride is made evident in the ceremony. Like the courtship, He woos us to Himself. With loving-kindness He draws us to His side. He pursues us in the inner chamber of our soul and spirit until He possesses us fully in marriage. I know this is my flowery (and wordy) way of saying that intimacy in marriage doesn’t BEGIN but rather ENDS with the sexual relationship. It’s exactly what God designed and desires for relationship with us. He works from the inside out— intimacy which begins inwardly before being expressed outwardly. And that’s truly a beautiful thing. Thank you for this today, Tom. Blessings to all.
Tom Felten on September 22, 2016 at 8:23 am
Thanks for sharing this gagirl. You’re right, God pursues a love relationship with us. And, as Francis Lisa Chan detail in their book “You and Me Forever,” our marriages are designed to present to those who don’t know Jesus the greatness and beauty of His love.
godlove on September 22, 2016 at 9:21 am
And I echo your thoughts as well, gagirl, concerning the sadness at the current state of affairs in the fact that sexual intimacy has become the starting point (or thereabouts) of most love relationships, even right within the Church. With my very strict views on chastity (thanks to my parental upbringing), I sometimes wonder whether it’s ever going to be possible for me to find the same sort of pure, loving relationship as what we read in the Song of Songs. And I’m beginning to be resigned to the fact that I might not. Being a male thirty-something and still holding such “retrograde” views is sort of a handicap in finding love where I live. Well, at least I know I can rest in Christ’s Love… which is far from being the least! Blessings to you, gagirl and blessed day to all. Thank you for this beautiful devotional, Tom.
gagirllive on September 22, 2016 at 9:44 am
You know, godlove, as a mom to a twenty-something year old daughter who expresses your same concerns, I am wanting to hook y’all up, dude!…LOL
godlove on September 23, 2016 at 2:28 am
Haha thanks! You really do sound so much like my own mum; obviously she won’t use the same words but has a quite similar way of thinking 🙂
Tom Felten on September 22, 2016 at 3:54 pm
You’re so welcome, godlove. Your love for Jesus is a beautiful thing.
twincitiesjim on September 22, 2016 at 9:12 am
I have been reading these devotionals for a long time now and never really felt compelled to write until today. The timing of your devotional and the content just hit me deep inside. I comment today out of a place of deep pain. Two days ago I signed the papers agreeing to the settlement conditions for the divorce of my wife of 19 years. 7-10 days from that day I will be divorced in the eyes of man. I always desired the kind of love, between my wife and I, that you discussed in your article. I said those vows and I meant them. I still do mean them and it breaks my heart that my wife does not. Unfortunately, when we met neither of us were believers and we gave ourselves to each other early in our relationship. We became believers 13 years ago partly due to things God did in our lives during a time of some marital discord and pain as we dealt with infertility and miscarriages. I was not the man I needed to be. Although I loved my wife dearly, my love was not unconditional. My example of the Christian life was not what God desired and my wife fell away from the faith. In May of 2015 she said she was done. For the last 16 months, I have done all I can to be obedient to God’s will in my life. He gave me many messages and signs that pointed to reconciliation, but I never had any hints from her side that anything was happening. He has done some amazing things in my life not related to the marriage, so I know he is there and supporting me, but I always had hope that he would also save the marriage. Believing that he would do so has been harder, but deep down I really believed that he would. I guess I do not know now what my point is in all of this. I still have hope that God will reconcile and restore us. I have hope that My wife will accept Christ as her savior and will be able to experience the kind of love that only God can provide. I love God with all of my heart. I want to make him proud and do his will. If that means I have to let the love of my earthly life go, than I accept that. However, I cling to his original plan for marriage and the love that he intends for us in that union. Thank You for your timely reminder of God’s intention for the marital union.
gagirllive on September 22, 2016 at 9:36 am
Oh, twincitiesjim, my heart hurts for you. I will pray for you and hope with you, dear one. When all seems lost, I like to remind myself that “it ain’t over until God says it’s over”. He really does have the final say so, and He specializes in resurrecting what is dead. I don’t know what the future holds for you and your wife, but God does. She may be done, but God is not done. He can take all the brokenness between you two and restore it to its intended beauty. If that does not happen, He is still God and He will redeem what has been lost for good in both your lives. Just to spark hope in your heart, my husband and I have good friends who have been married twice—to one another! Theirs is a beautiful story of God’s redeeming grace to recover what seemed utterly hopeless. I pray that it will be your story too. In the meantime, go forward with God and be the man that He has called you to be. Thank you for sharing your burden with us today, brother. We take joy in helping you carry it. Be encouraged.
twincitiesjim on September 22, 2016 at 9:47 am
Thank you so much gagirllive! Your response said all of the things I needed to hear and I am crying as I write this. This morning on the way to work I heard the song move by Toby Mac which says to move and keep walking because it ain’t over yet. So your choice of words was quite interesting. I stand on God’s word in Daniel. I know our God can heal this marriage, but even if he doesn’t I will still hold fast to my belief in him and be obedient to his will in my life. Thank you!
gagirllive on September 22, 2016 at 9:59 am
Amen, brother! I’m believing with you! 🙂
gagirllive on September 22, 2016 at 10:26 am
Twincitiesjim, I can’t help but grieve for your wife as well. From what you shared, she must hold a lot of hurt and disappointment in her heart. It sounds like she has experienced loss on so many levels. It’s no wonder why she has closed off her heart. BUT GOD can open it. Lord Jesus, please heal her wounded heart. Draw her into Your healing embrace where she will find all the unconditional love she needs. Open her eyes to see Your nail-scarred hand reaching out to her. Bind up her wounds and create a place in her heart where love can flourish again. In Your mighty name I pray. Amen.
twincitiesjim on September 22, 2016 at 1:45 pm
Yes she has hurt and disappointment in her heart – from sources you cannot know about, but also cause for joy and celebration. Despite those miscarriages and infertility problems, we had two more children after becoming Christians and we have a wonderful family of 3 children now that we are both so proud of. One of them had cancer and was completely healed when she was a baby. God has done miraculous things in our lives, but she refuses to see that and sometimes I blame myself because of my issues and lack of unconditional love. Thank you for being sensitive to her. She needs God so much in her life, but she doesn’t see it. She doesn’t see the deeper reasons for her unhappiness. She honestly thinks we will all be happier apart. It appears that she is happier for now at least, but I suspect that will not last. Thanks for your thoughts and concern! You have been wonderful.
Tom Felten on September 22, 2016 at 4:01 pm
twincitiesjim, as gagirl has shared, there is always hope in Jesus. I’m praying that God will meet your deepest needs and those of your estranged wife as well. As you seek Him with all your heart, may you find the healing, joy, and fulfillment only He can provide!
kauai143 on September 22, 2016 at 11:59 am
Twincitiesjim, having gone through an unwanted divorce, I know how you feel. I don’t know what God has planned for you but I would encourage you to focus totally on God, stay committed to the vows you made and trust God. After 9 years apart, God reconciled me and my husband. Marriage is hard but I know from expierance that God has used every hard thing I have gone through to deepen my faith and draw me closer to Him. Don’t give up…..He is a big God!!!
twincitiesjim on September 22, 2016 at 1:53 pm
Kauai143, Thank you! I cannot imagine waiting 9 years for reconciliation. I just do not see how that could be what is best for our children. Despite those thoughts, I think it is an amazing testimony and it encourages me to know that God can work those miracles even after such a long time. I just want to be obedient to his will. If that means reconciliation or not. I hope it means reconciliation and I certainly hope that if it does, it doesn’t take even a fraction of that amount of time. 😉 Thanks for your words of encouragement.
Tom Felten on September 22, 2016 at 4:05 pm
kauai143, thanks so much for sharing your amazing story of reconciliation and restored love. What a reminder of the fact that what may seem impossible to us is possible for God to do!
sim jing ying on September 22, 2016 at 9:23 am
Spiritual and emotional intimacy in marriage lead to a healthy, flourishing sexual relationship is achieved by the leading spiritual power of the Holy Spirit. The love of a man and woman united in Christ reflect the love God has for us because God loves us first and God also is love so the transmission of the love of God is felt when loving others.
gagirllive on September 22, 2016 at 9:58 am
Amen, sim jing ying. You make a great point. I was thinking how, in our relationship with God, He is the Initiator and we are the Responders. He has set this pattern in the marriage relationship as well. The verse in Song of Solomon says “he claims me as his own”, or in the NKJV, “his desire is toward me”. As a wife, I enjoy the fact that my husband desires me (on all levels) and initiates the expression of that. So very much like the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives! Thanks for joining in the conversation today, friend.
Tom Felten on September 22, 2016 at 4:11 pm
Great insight, sim jing ying. God pursues us and showed His love by means of the ultimate sacrifice. As a man who loves God and loves my wife, I pray that I will love her more and more the way Paul describes: “Husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault” (Ephesians 5:25-27).
jjw2855 on September 22, 2016 at 8:23 pm
2016/09/22 Thursday.
Today we went to a 60th Wedding Anniversary of a beautiful elderly couple from our church. They looked as radiant and very much in love like they were on their wedding day 60 years ago. It was wonderful to see their children, grandchildren, and great grand children thanking them for their Christian example encouragement in their lives.
gagirllive on September 22, 2016 at 9:05 pm
How lovely, jjw2855! What a perfect ending to our conversation today— by God’s grace, 60 years of flourishing love! Thank you so much for sharing. And a very happy anniversary to that special couple!
Tom Felten on September 23, 2016 at 9:57 am
Amen!