Sarcasm can cause us to laugh. But it can also become a shield. Why open ourselves to rejection when we can make sure that no one ever knows the real us? Ironically, such insincerity actually leaves us more vulnerable.
Some historians believe that the term sincerity comes from the Latin compound, sine—which means “without,” and cera—which means “wax.” In the ancient world, wax was often used to conceal cracks in pottery and buildings. For example, a poor family that couldn’t afford a perfectly smooth stone to seal their loved one’s grave would fill in the gaps with wax. While this looked fine at first, the wax would melt in the summer sun, providing an opening for creatures to enter and do what creatures do. Wealthy families who could buy the best told their craftsman to chisel a door sincerely, or without wax.
Sincerity seems to be essential for the safety of friendship. Only sincere people can have genuine friends. No one opens his heart to someone he can’t trust, but everyone wants to hang around people who are trustworthy. Paul told the Corinthians to open their hearts to him because he had opened his first. “We have spoken honestly with you, and our hearts are open to you. There is no lack of love on our part” (2 Corinthians 6:11-12).
Has sarcasm cost you friends? Do you need the “love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith”? (1 Timothy 1:5). Let the light of God’s Word reveal the “wax” in your life (Psalm 119:105). Then replace it with the solid substance of sincerity. Real friendship requires that we be real with others. And the Holy Spirit provides what we need to show them “sincere love” (2 Corinthians 6:6).
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: John 6:41-71
More:
Read 1 Thessalonians 2:1-13 to learn how sincerity supplies the foundation for friendship.
Next:
Do your words provide a safe environment for others? What can you do to earn their trust?
ng on July 19, 2016 at 4:18 am
In my devotion time this morning I prayed and asked the Lord for direction and guidance in my life. I was shocked when I read the title of today’s word “Sarcasm & Sincerity” I truly believe this message was especially for me as I am a very sarcastic person. I pray that the Lord changes me. I want to be more sincere and start building true friendships. Sarcasm can also hurt people. Thanks Mike for the devotion. May the Lord continue to use you.
Mike Wittmer on July 19, 2016 at 2:18 pm
Me too, ng. Sarcasm is fun, at least in the moment, but sometimes afterwards I wince with regret. I’m trying to remember to think of other people’s feelings–that helps, but I still need to sometimes ask for forgiveness!
Gary Shultz on July 19, 2016 at 6:28 am
Ok Mike you have the sandpaper out rubbing at the ruff spots. I can relate to “ng” a little, there is nothing like a well placed zinger. As usual I probably do step over the line at times; however, we can not allow our lives to be captured by a sarcastic attitude. The world is filling with more and more acidic peoples, what we do need, as you recommend, is more sincere people engaged in the story of Christ. When life gets real, others need to know we hold them in a safe place, as God holds us. We need to be a warm bodied representative of Jesus. Thanks Mike
Mike Wittmer on July 19, 2016 at 2:20 pm
Amen, Gary. Our hope in Jesus frees us to see the funny side of life, but our hope in Jesus also frees us from going negative. I think there is a line there that healthy people don’t cross. I usually find it right after I have stepped over it.
gagirllive on July 19, 2016 at 8:02 am
Cute pic, Mike. I remember reading that sarcasm is the primary language of the 21st century, and that by the time a child is kindergarten he/she has already learned to use and detect sarcasm. (We’re talking about people who have only been in the world for 5 years!) The article also suggested that if that were not the case, then there was something lacking in the brain and the child would most assuredly be socially inept. Wow. When did insincerity become a necessary virtue for social health? As always, what we know and are instructed from scripture flies in the face of the wisdom of this world. Our relationships are to be “unfeigned”, as the Old English puts it. Without plastic or pretense. True friendship can only flourish in authenticity…and in vulnerability, I believe. We need to be and find safe people that are not afraid to reveal themselves. Sarcasm is just one of many walls that people put up to self-protect, but true to what walls do, while they shut people out, they also shut us in. It’s a hostage situation all around—both captor and captive are closed off. In Christ, we are brought into an open, safe place of love and acceptance. And I, for one, want to give to others what He has so freely and generously given to me. No wax involved. 🙂 Thanks, Mike. Great word for us today.
sandy229 on July 19, 2016 at 10:05 am
Amen gagirl, I’m with you on this one. 🙂
hsnpoor on July 19, 2016 at 12:23 pm
I love the pic, too! Looks like me & my girlfriends….30-40-years ago…:). So very true about sarcasm being a defense mechanism that shuts out the hurt from others out, but also shuts in the sarcastic person. And, working with the wee little ones, I’ve actually encountered sarcastic 3 & 4-year olds and it’s not pretty, even coming from a sweet, baby face. My response has always been to gently let them know that their sarcasm was not appreciated and you would be amazed at how effective that gentle rebuke has been. Not a peep of sarcasm since, at least none levied in my direction. I can also testify that it works with adults, as well. I have a friend, who is a sister in Christ, whose persona is full of sarcasm. Most of the time it’s funny and well received. But, sometimes, folks are not in the mood and she caught me a few months ago when I wasn’t in the mood. Now, I could have just let it pass. But, she really is my friend, so I spoke up. GF (that means girlfriend, lest you think I’ve recently started calling you ladies by a bad name; or have forgotten your names due to my recent illness) didn’t miss a beat…she apologized immediately and sincerely and we kept it moving. I think part of the proliferation of this sarcastic attitude has to do with people not speaking up to stop it when it overflows boundaries where it shouldn’t go or if, like me in this instance, they just aren’t feeling it, which gives it a sense of legitimacy it probably should not have. My, that was wordy. Sorry…:(
sandy229 on July 19, 2016 at 1:02 pm
Better to see you wordy GF than not here at all!! 🙂
gagirllive on July 19, 2016 at 1:13 pm
True that!
gagirllive on July 19, 2016 at 1:13 pm
Good call, Kim. Sometimes I think that people are not really aware of their sarcasm…how it affects a person, so your gentle rebuke to the children as well as your adult friend was spot on, GF! 🙂
Mike Wittmer on July 19, 2016 at 2:22 pm
So true, gagirllive. Sarcasm is a very effective wall, which is why we must treat it like horseradish–a little goes a loooong way.
Tom Felten on July 19, 2016 at 8:57 am
MIke, these words from Paul came to mind as I read your post: “Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them” (Ephesians 4:29). I’m hoping to speak that way to others today!
hsnpoor on July 19, 2016 at 12:24 pm
Me too….
crossman61 on July 19, 2016 at 11:36 am
Mike you convicted me !! I am guilty of having a sense of Humor . Maybe this could be seen as sarcasm ? I do always try to be sincere , but at times I do through in some humor , hoping to make someone laugh , to feel better about the circumstance they may be going through. God please Forgive me if I am doing wrong, in your sight . Thanks Mike .
gagirllive on July 19, 2016 at 11:54 am
crossman61, may I address your concern? There is a difference between straight humor and sarcasm. I think sarcasm is a form of humor that takes a dig toward a person. It doesn’t have the person’s best interest in mind. The motive is to belittle. If your humor is uplifting to the person, it’s ok. It’s not a laugh at someone else’s expense. Like Tom referenced, do your humorous words build up or tear down? Just my humble thoughts on it. 🙂
sandy229 on July 19, 2016 at 12:13 pm
Amen!! That’s exactly right!
crossman61 on July 19, 2016 at 1:47 pm
Thanks gagirlive . No my intentions are not to tear others down with my sense of humor . I do try to build others up Ephesians 4:29 . I do believe laughter is good medicine , as long as it is focused properly.
gagirllive on July 19, 2016 at 1:50 pm
I couldn’t imagine you would do otherwise, crossman61. I’m quite sure you and your humor are a blessing to others.
sandy229 on July 19, 2016 at 12:12 pm
It’s ok to joke about things sometimes as long as your not hurting anyone. Since I have been trying to recover from my hospital visit, I’ve found that joking around helps sometimes, like I told my husband my platelets are too high cuz I have too much on my plate, and my cat was trying to make bread out of me so I told her to stop before I’m toast!! I know these probably are not funny to some people but the point is that sometimes you have to make jokes like these cuz you can be serious all of the time. These are not sarcastic remarks either, but sarcasm hurts people without meaning too like that guy…..hmmmm I can’t seem too remember his name now, but I grew up in his time…..Rodney Dangerfield seems to come to mind…..LOL……but nowadays when everyone is so worried about being politically correct…..they should be more worried how they are protraying themselves as Christians and how they live their lives. I think Mike is spot on with this one!!!
gagirllive on July 19, 2016 at 12:15 pm
Laughter is good medicine, dear sister. You keep making those jokes. I really like that one about your platelets! 🙂
hsnpoor on July 19, 2016 at 12:26 pm
Me too! Good one, Sandy….
crossman61 on July 19, 2016 at 1:50 pm
Yes keep up the joking Sandy229 . I also think Mike is spot on with this too. And so are You !! 🙂
Mike Wittmer on July 19, 2016 at 2:25 pm
Great points, Sandy. I wouldn’t want to live without humor. In fact, no one should enjoy a good laugh like the children of God, because we know not to take ourselves too seriously and we know how this story ends.
godlove on July 19, 2016 at 1:53 pm
I’m with you crossman, I’m probably not the most sarcastic person I know but I must admit that I use sarcasm from time to time, usually in jest. However, I do try to make it clear each time that I’m just joking as I would hate for the recipient to feel offended by my words. Mike is quite right though, we must show sincere love through our words and it’s very difficult (impossible) to be sincere while being sarcastic. Today’s devotional reminds me of Colossians 4:6, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt”. Thanks for calling my attention to this Mike. And Sandy, I do think self-deprecating humour is always much better accepted than humour done at someone else’s expense (very happy to see you back, better than ever, and posting again 🙂 ).
sandy229 on July 19, 2016 at 4:23 pm
Thank you 🙂 It feels good to be back.