During the closing seconds of an American football game, the referee had to make a very difficult, game-deciding call. His decision resulted in one team winning and the other facing the bitter sting of a loss. Furious fans from the losing team ridiculed and threatened the ref for days and weeks. In time he experienced panic attacks and even considered suicide. Doctors diagnosed his condition as post-traumatic stress disorder.
Some of us can relate to this much-maligned referee. We live with a sense of defeat, fueled by the harsh disapproval of others. Thankfully, we can rely on Jesus to help us conquer the power of negative criticism.
Jesus defended His disciples when the Pharisees criticized their behavior. One Sabbath, Jesus’ disciples ate some heads of grain they had found growing in a grain field. The Pharisees asked Jesus, “Look, why are they breaking the law by harvesting grain on the Sabbath?” (Mark 2:24). Jesus said, “The Sabbath was made to meet the needs of the people, and not people to meet the requirements of the Sabbath” (Mark 2:27).
On another occasion, He defended a woman who had been involved in adultery. The Pharisees paraded her sin openly, wanting to know if they should stone her. Jesus ended their antics by saying, “Let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” (John 8:7). The accusers all walked away.
No matter what type of criticism we may face, Jesus never joins in with people who fling careless or calculated remarks. He always stands up for us—even when we wrestle with sin (1 John 2:1). Jesus cares for us and wants to help us, and His love doesn’t depend on a perfect performance of the Christian life.
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: 2 Samuel 15:1-37
More:
Read Galatians 2:11-13 to see how fear of criticism created a problem for Peter. Look up Romans 14:3 to see the root of condemnation for some in the early church.
Next:
Is all criticism destructive? What happens when someone lovingly points out a shortcoming? Read Proverbs 15:31 for some insight on this topic.
Gary Shultz on April 9, 2016 at 6:42 am
I’m glad you kept the level of weekend thoughts challenging. My thoughts would be that you must be ground by the stone of life to begin to get a grip on criticism. (don’t take it so personal) However, it seems like no matter how experienced with life we are, the fur will get rubbed the wrong way. Then there is the old delayed reaction, the pot boils, but as it cools we see truths embedded in what has been said. We never like the finger pointed or the whistle blown at us. The other factor is the criticizer, who is it, and how do they relate to us? We have those who’s presence just make us tense. The profitable criticism comes woven with care or love and we chill to what has been said. In those groups are friends, family, pastors, coaches, bosses, and certainly our Heavenly Father. Thank you Jennifer, you do well, no criticism here.
gagirllive on April 9, 2016 at 9:16 am
I’m with Gary on this one. The what, the why, the how, the who–these all play a major role in the way I process criticism as well as dish it out. If I’m selfish and don’t speak with care, I know that my words will not benefit the hearer. On the receiving end, I do try to look for the truth in what’s been said, especially if I think it was said to wound me. (I have learned over the years that God sends people to help me and to hurt me for my good.) The mother of all sin–PRIDE–seems to be at the root of destructive criticism as reflected in the scripture passages in the post…and that applies to both the critic and the one being criticized. Pride will keep me from having a teachable spirit to receive the correction that I need as well as produce in me a fault-finding spirit to look for conflict. Jesus gives us the perfect example of constructive criticism, and the Pharisees give us the perfect example of destructive criticism, don’t they? Hmm…I know the example I want to follow. 🙂 This is good stuff to think on today, Jennifer. Thanks!
sandy229 on April 9, 2016 at 10:02 am
I think sometimes people criticize us just to see what type of reaction they will get out of us. Just like Gary & gagirllive said, the what, the why, the how, the who—all play a major role in this. I know if I am not careful about what I say to others, it will come back to haunt me. Just like my Mother used to say, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”. There have been times when I wanted to say that to someone else because of the way they criticized me without merit. But I’ve learned that usually it’s because they want to feel better about themselves. Thanks Jennifer for reminding me that I need to stop and think about what one says before I automatically assume someone is out to get me. I know that constructive criticism is good, and I choose to follow the perfect example Jesus gives us instead of the perfect example of destructive criticism the Pharisees give us.
gagirllive on April 9, 2016 at 10:09 am
So true, sandy229. The heart behind it really matters. When the motive is love, it’s easier to swallow, isn’t it? It makes me think of Proverbs 27:6…”faithful are the wounds of a friend…”
samgaskill on April 9, 2016 at 10:15 am
Who hasn’t struggled to justify criticism either given or received. We would serve God well to ponder this insightful devotional today and to ask for forgiveness but also revelation that we can see more and more through the eyes of Jesus. Through the years I have come to see many things as not being personal as Gary also said. Crucial to keep in mind the enemy is not the other guy, but the destroyer of peace, our true enemy satan himself. Think about it, we as Christians have an incredible blessing. We can come to know the will of our Father. Those that hurt us are either without the life giving grace and mercy and ability to forgive of our Lord, or in a moment of weakness, a Christian brother or sister responding hastily and in great need of healing in an area only God knows. In other words, our compassion should run deep for the lost, who will only see any perceived victory here on earth. It is the picture of eternity in the abscence of God that leads me to be stirred to compassion and therefore not retaliate. God will judge in time. As for my family in Christ I can choose grace for them as well, and pray it for myself when I fall. We must gain understanding there is a giant hole meant only for God to fill deep within us all. Imagine that hole empty of God and filled with lies of the enemy. Best left to God to discern what we cannot fully see. How pleasing it is to God, how beneficial to myself, and of course the other guy when I am slow to speak, slow to anger and quick to hear. When I see people arguing, belittling, tearing each other up I choose to not watch, but pray asking for forgiveness for them and for myself if I too have chosen sides in the absence of all the facts or with a judge mental heart. Dear Father in Heaven, please forgive us from our own haughtiness, teach us a better response that we may glorify You and not stir up additional hate. And Lord put in us Your compassion that we too may grieve any lost soul. Thank you for Your Word, for revealing a way unlike the worlds systems. I’m prompted to read through proverbs today. Always good advice there. And lastly I pray for any grieving brother or sister here who is suffering from open wounds. Restore, bring peace that we can be the peacemakers by the power of Your love, grace and mercy. Amen.
gagirllive on April 9, 2016 at 10:33 am
Amen, samgaskill. I love that you brought up the verse in James about being slow to speak. I have learned that I don’t need to speak correction to everything I see as wrong. Many times when I keep quiet and pray about it, God Himself will bring revelation to the person in question. Also, as I look back over negative criticism aimed at me, I can see how God was using it to refine me. The motives of the people involved may not have been pure, but God used their hurtful words to “grow me up”. That’s why I said He sends people to help us and to hurt us. Those who love me and know me best know that I welcome their criticism. They see things in me that I can’t see in myself. My heart is open to that kind of loving correction no matter how much it stings. Ya know?
samgaskill on April 9, 2016 at 1:10 pm
I sure do know!! Feeling blessed as we grow together, grow more and more to resemble our Heavenly Father. How blessed we are as children who are dearly loved and taught, disciplined in love when necessary, and always welcomed to rest in His arms. Have a wonderful weekend friend!
gagirllive on April 9, 2016 at 1:43 pm
Thanks! You, too! I have to tell you this…It wasn’t until your post the other day when you shared about your “husband and son” that I realized you were a “girl”…LOL! All this time I thought “samgaskill” was a guy. I can’t wait to meet all of you wonderful people in glory! I’ll bet we’ll have a few surprises. 🙂
samgaskill on April 9, 2016 at 2:06 pm
I too look forward to being sisters in Heaven!! How cool that we can share even now!!
sandy229 on April 9, 2016 at 2:36 pm
I thought that too. Lol
samgaskill on April 9, 2016 at 2:47 pm
Too funny. SAM stands for Scott, my hubby, A for Andrew our son and I am Mary!
sandy229 on April 9, 2016 at 4:34 pm
Cool
Tom Kopper on April 9, 2016 at 10:33 am
We need to watch the way we critcize. To we do it to draw them to us and more importantly to Jesus, (in love). Or do we do it to blow them away, (in hate)?
gagirllive on April 9, 2016 at 10:37 am
Right, Tom. Our motive should always be love…building up…drawing them to Jesus. It’s hard to put into practice though! We need the Spirit’s help so much with this. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
jim spillane on April 9, 2016 at 11:28 am
Jennifer – I always appreciate the way that many of your devotionals really stir up my thought processes, and I thank you for that talent (gift?). I think that many of our wonderful commenters have already hit on the main problem with criticism when looked at from both sides of the football, both offense and defense. And that problem is the same root of many of our problems (sins) – pride. I think that samgaskill’s use of the penetrating verses of James 1:19-20 are a great teaching point. Let us also remember that there is certainly a reason why our Heavenly Father gave us two ears, but only one mouth. May His blessings be with all here at this forum.
sandy229 on April 9, 2016 at 2:40 pm
You all are such an inspiration to me. I really look forward to reading your comments every day.