In a Downton Abbey episode, beloved housemaid Anna Bates is brutally raped. It was heart-wrenching to watch her try to keep it a secret. The head housekeeper, Mrs. Hughes, found Anna shortly after the assault—bruised, crying, and hiding in a corner. Despite the strong urgings of Mrs. Hughes, Anna told her to tell no one, not even her husband. She was not only afraid he would kill her assailant, but she also felt “dirty” and believed the attack was somehow her fault.
Anna’s feelings and silence are typical and understandable in victims of sexual assault. The shame that victims feel—though undeserved—is beyond words.
The Bible also contains a disturbing story of sexual assault. Tamar, King David’s virgin daughter, was raped by her half-brother Amnon (2 Samuel 13:1-20). But rather than hide what happened, Tamar grieved openly (2 Samuel 13:18-19). Two years after the assault, another of Tamar’s brothers sought revenge. Absalom killed Amnon, throwing King David’s family and kingdom into chaos (2 Samuel 13:23-28).
Some might argue that the royal family’s upheaval could have been averted if Tamar had simply kept quiet. No! Family bitterness and division grew because Amnon acted selfishly and wouldn’t take responsibility for violating Tamar.
To those who are victims of sexual assault or any form of abuse, please know that it’s not your fault! Nor is it God’s desire for you to carry life’s heaviest burdens alone (Galatians 6:2). What’s often worse than the violation(s) itself is a lifetime of suffering alone in the darkness. If you’ve been abused or are the victim of someone else’s selfishness, tell a person who can help you. You can discover that what is shareable slowly becomes more bearable.
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: Acts 21:1-17
More:
Read Galatians 6:2, and see what Paul says about carrying one another’s burdens as a way to be Christ to others.
Next:
What burden of shame have you been carrying alone? Name one person with whom you can open up and share. How can you experience God’s love through that person?
janntee on November 9, 2014 at 4:20 am
I was physically and violently abused in my first marriage. In the 70’s these things were not talked about no one wanted to step forward and help and support me, they expected you to forget. I went to court and to add insult to injury my ex husband told them I injured myself and the court told me to go back to him. I did not for if I had I may have been dead, the police said. Years later I found that my solicitor was not an honest man and I had always suspected he had been paid off. I carry the mental scars even though the physical ones healed, my self esteem is low, I have never fully recovered even with my faith. I cannot tell anyone what it feels like to be sat upon and see such anger in a persons face and for him to get away with it and make me look even worse, I lost trust, that has never returned. So I saw this episode and understood everything. Abuse is indeed more than the act it is the scars that wont heal.
angelinatan25 on November 9, 2014 at 8:20 am
(CONTD)
GENESIS 3: THE FALL OF MAN;
WHO IS THE GREATER SINNER OF ALL MANKIND – THE GENTILES OR THE KNOWLEDGEABLES?
angelinatan25 on November 9, 2014 at 8:25 am
(Cont’d)
DEFINTION OF GENTILES: THE UNEDUCATED AND THOSE AWAY FROM THE WORLD OF KNOWLEDGE!
THE TOWER OF BABEL!!
Sandy on November 9, 2014 at 9:12 am
Jantee, I can’t imagine what terror you experienced. I hope there’s someone (besides the Lord) you can just talk to daily about the pain. Someone who would just listen and not blurt out some stupid things (like Angelinatan 25).
I will be praying for you! Lord bless!
ghchong on November 9, 2014 at 5:34 pm
Is it okay if we would only share our “lostness” or only what we don’t understand (personally for myself I think the answer is no)?
What if in our own questions and answers we already obtain the correct ones? It seems important then (and perhaps that’s the point where) to be prudent about all the information we give of ourselves becomes honestly a necessity.
For an immediately God-being-the-critic kind of verse I can think of it would be like Prov 12:15 (NCV) and many parallel phrases including the one that says “all the ways of a man seem right to him” or something like that.
The more “crazy” verses I seem to be able to find (randomly though!) are like those in Jer 6:27-29 (NLT) and just about everywhere else in the Bible although increasingly I am becoming sure these are just for myself, to use as a mirror for self-reflection, rather than for others to consume—they are indeed to be shared with only relevant individuals who can handle them and do so appropriately. (“Eavesdropping” would be detrimental to the counseling efforts.)
In the verse from the last paragraph, Jeremiah’s of course another prophet of the Bible who just seems right now to resemble my own individual circumstances (or else it is just make-believe again).
janntee on November 10, 2014 at 3:37 am
Thank you Sandy, it is simple kind words that help ease the pain. Someone talking the right compassionate words. Mere sprouting of bible verses do not help. I was fortunate to have a loving family, and my second husband adopted my daughter, so she grew up with no violence, so with hindsight I was lucky. I was refered to a womens group a couple of years ago and I was able to talki it out.it was amazing how back in the day how it was treated like leprosy. I went through some very bad times but it helped my faith. I have been able to witness to so many others who think they must endure this type of abuse. I wondered how to forgive and this has been hard because my abuser never asked to be forgiven, he believed it was his right to beat me if I dared oppose him. I was lucky really my life could have been hell and I had to spare my daughter that. God is good and he helped me when everyone else passed by. That you for your compassion.
Sandy on November 10, 2014 at 9:36 am
Jantee, I am pleased to hear you have friends and family who will just listen. Job’s friends were doing okay ubtil they opened their traps.
Father, be there for Jantee to just listen as I know you do. Show yourself the Shepherd who desires to hold the lamb in silence.
Lord bless!