The Grant Study has followed the lives of more than 250 Harvard graduates for 70 years to learn what makes people happy. It revealed that positive emotions make us more vulnerable than negative ones—in part because they expose us to rejection and heartbreak. One man had received a box of 100 loving letters from his patients when he retired from practicing medicine. Eight years later he proudly showed the box to a researcher and began to cry, “I don’t know what you’re going to make of this, but I’ve never read [them].”
“Being loved” is hard for many of us. We need courage to open ourselves to receive love from others. Because we—and they—are sinful, misunderstanding and rejection is always a possibility. It’s tempting to retreat into our castle and pull up the drawbridge. There we’ll be safe from the dangers of heartbreak, but we’ll also be distanced from the pleasures of love—how it feels to be fully known and still embraced.
What if true love is found in the very place we most deserve to be rejected? John explains, “God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love . . . that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins” (1 John 4:9-10). God’s love expels fear as light scatters darkness, for “If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love” (1 John 4:18).
The One who knows you best, loves you most. You can trust the God who hung on the cross for you. When you are secure in the grip of His love, you can open yourself to others. “We love each other because he loved us first” (1 John 4:19).
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: Acts 10:24-48
More:
Read Ephesians 3:14-21 to learn what happens when we begin to grasp the infinite wonder of Jesus’ love.
Next:
How might God’s loving embrace enable you to accept the risk of rejection? With whom do you need to take that risk today?
Gary Shultz on October 24, 2014 at 6:59 am
With many of these blogs I like to roll them around and chuck back how it hits me. This one I’ll just let soak in. Thank you.
Tom Felten on October 24, 2014 at 8:54 am
Mike, as I think about the illustration with doctor who found it hard to be affirmed or loved by his patients, I’m reminded of how many times I’ve been unwilling to go deeper in relationships due to busyness, fear, etc. But praise God for His example and the opportunity to grow in His self-sacrificing, perfect love! May we allow that love to flow in us and through us today as we interact with others who desperately need God’s love.
Mike Wittmer on October 24, 2014 at 9:18 am
I just had one of these experiences yesterday. I’m not sure why it’s so scary to go deeper with friends. I bet it starts with going deeper with God. When I know–truly know–that I am unreservedly accepted by Him, I am released to give and receive love to others.
GChoo on October 24, 2014 at 12:20 pm
Totally agree, especially when we had been hurt so many times and been betrayed that our hearts can be hardened. But thanks for reminding us that God can be trusted and He loved us so much that He was willing to sacrifice Himself for us on the cross. Yes, we learn to love others because God showed us what love is all about by His sacrifice.
I become a foster carer in the last couple of years. It is not an easy thing to do because the children and teenagers come to us with different abuses. For me, I realised that if it weren’t for God showing the way, I might not be able to love them as if they are my own. By loving them just as God loves us is not easy, there are moments it doesn’t seem to work. Isn’t it just like our relationship with God? At times we are close to Him and at times we are not. However, God is still with us because He is faithful and true. So, always reminding myself i am just like these children, they may disappoint me but they know we care. Life is not always rosy but the children know what we are there for them – our love for them help to build a trusting relationship with them. Thank you God for His Great Love. Amen!
Mike Wittmer on October 25, 2014 at 12:42 pm
GChoo: It’s hard to imagine a more wonderful example of Christ’s love than foster parenting. You will receive a big reward from God for taking these kids into your home. I’m sure it isn’t easy, especially when these kids test your love to see if you will hang in there or abandon them like their original parents. May God bless you and give you tangible evidence that your love is making a difference.
Ruth O'reilly-smith on October 29, 2014 at 4:34 am
You’re spot on Mike. As a young girl, my mom would often remind me that I am unconditionally loved and accepted by God. I am regularly reminded of her words when I feel the urge to withdraw and close my heart to people who may have hurt me or let me down. A solt, open heart gives God an opportunity to bring out the best in us.
mikan14 on November 1, 2014 at 6:16 pm
Thank you for this blog 🙂
I didn’t understand the essence of 1 John 4:18 before, but through being in processes of loving persons even if they don’t reciprocate the same affections, God let me realize that once I understand what really is being perfect in love, there’s no fear showing or expressing it to others. There’ll be no issue of prejudice.
Winn Collier on November 1, 2014 at 8:45 pm
I can’t get over that story of the fellow not reading the letters…wow…