Her voice shook as she told me about the problem she was having with her daughter. The concerned mother was worried that her teenager was mixing in with bad company, so she confiscated her daughter’s mobile phone and now chaperones her everywhere. But their relationship has now gone from bad to worse. So what should this mother do?
When I talked to the daughter recently, I discovered that she loves her mom dearly, but feels like she’s suffocating under an iron fist of love. She longs to break free. So what should this daughter do?
In 2 John 1:1-13, the apostle John wrote about walking in both love and truth. This vital balance is important in all interpersonal relationships. John told his readers that there are things that love includes and things that love excludes.
How do we know which is which? That’s where truth comes in. Because of our fall into sin, our love is limited and often distorted. We need God’s truth to instruct us in what to do and how to do it. Similarly, we need love to help us put those truths into action!
And to help us see love as more than simply mushy sentimentality, John defines it for us: “Love means doing what God has commanded us, and he has commanded us to love one another” (2 John 1:6). In other words, we love each other best when we obey His Word.
Both the mother and daughter I’ve been striving to help need to know God’s love and God’s truth. John reminds us that “Christ—the Son of the Father—will continue to be with us who live in truth and love” (2 John 1:3). Isn’t that encouraging?
As we learn to walk with Jesus, God’s Word shapes our thinking and affects our emotions. May it guide us to love well in all of our relationships!
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: Matthew 13:44-52
More:
Read Romans 13:8-10 and 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. What should love do, and what should it not do?
Next:
What verse from 2 John 1:1-13 can you apply to one of your difficult relationships? How could this relationship change as you walk in truth and love?
Sandy on July 11, 2014 at 6:14 am
What happened to the website? It’s almost all orange.
Tom Felten on July 11, 2014 at 9:16 am
Hi Sandy, I’m not sure what you’re seeing . . . just looked at the website in two different browsers and it appears to be working well. Perhaps you could try reloading the page. Hope this helps!
Gene on July 11, 2014 at 7:31 am
I’m also a parent of a teenage daughter. I can relate to the worry and tendency to hold on tightly. No easy answers here, but seeking God’s truth and obeying him in our own lives is a great start in balancing our relationship with our family. Praying for the kids and then seeing them make good decisions is such an encouragement.
Tom Felten on July 11, 2014 at 9:19 am
Good thoughts, Gene. Truly living the life in Christ before children can be our greatest contribution to their lives. As has been said, “more is caught than taught.”
jessie1 on July 11, 2014 at 8:08 am
My children are now in their mid-twenties, but when they were teenagers I had the common worries all parents have. They were raised in a Christian household, and all we could do as parents was pray that what we taught them had sunk in. Once your children are out of sight, it is up to them to do the right thing. While we set guidelines and rules for them, we also gave them a fair amount of freedom to make their own decisions. We felt if they knew that we trusted them to do the right thing, they would not let us down. We were rewarded by having two kids with pretty good heads on their shoulders. I think the secret to it all is genuine trust. Much in the same way Jesus taught us to trust God, and you would be rewarded. And we certainly were. You cannot tell a young person you have faith in them and then go behind their back and constantly check up on them. It breeds mistrust and frustration. It all has to be built on a foundation of faith in God, and as a result, faith in your fellow man.
Tom Felten on July 11, 2014 at 9:25 am
Thanks for sharing, Jessie. I once heard a pastor share that he gave his young children greater freedoms and responsibility as they displayed growing obedience and diligence. The desired outcome was their willingness to follow God in obedience as they grew in maturity.
poohpity on July 12, 2014 at 11:26 am
I wonder if at times we parent our children based on what we did as teenagers rather than on what they have done. If the teen has done something to break that trust then I could see treating them as their behavior presents. Has the parent even spent the time to get to know the teens she has judged as undesirable? I would ask my teen to bring them over for a family gathering they may just need the touch of the Savior like all of us.
The parenting is almost over by the teen years, the foundation is laid and with good listening and communication lay out the consequences and begin to let them go with boundaries in place. The daughter may surprise the mom, she may be just loving the unlovable.