I recently officiated the marriage of a young couple. After the ceremony, the bridal party headed out for some photos prior to the reception. My wife and I were invited to the bride’s home for some sweet fellowship and treats on the family’s backyard patio. Suddenly, the mother of the bride emerged from the house with tears in her eyes. She held up her daughter’s purity ring and with a choked up voice and tender smile, uttered, “She left this on the kitchen counter.” The decision of the young woman to wear a purity ring had been an outward sign that she had vowed to remain sexually pure until marriage. Now, the ring was no longer needed.
In the poetry of the Song of Solomon, we find the godly virtue of maintaining one’s virginity prior to marriage. In the final chapter, the “young woman” declared her longing for her husband’s embrace (Song of Solomon 8:1-3), and then turned to her friends and said, “Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right” (Song of Solomon 8:4). This was the third time she presented this purity principle (Song of Solomon 2:7, Song of Solomon 3:5). But she wasn’t done, for in Song of Solomon 8:8-9 she described the need for a young girl’s virginity to be defended, stating, “If she is a virgin . . . we will protect her” (Song of Solomon 8:9).
The Song of Solomon is not at all prudish. In fact, it clearly celebrates the joy and ecstasies of sexual intimacy. But the joy of sex is seen in the context of a man and his bride who are deeply in love (Song of Solomon 4:9, Song of Solomon 8:6,13-14).
The apostle Paul later gave us inspired instruction from God regarding staying pure before marriage. He wrote, “God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin” and “live in holiness and honor—not in lustful passion” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5).
Yes, there’s a right time to say “I do” to sexual intimacy. It’s after saying “I do” at the altar.
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: Nehemiah 5:1-19
More:
Read 1 Thessalonians 4:8 and see how God views sex before marriage. Read Ephesians 5:3-9 to see additional sexual-purity instruction from Paul.
Next:
Why does God want you to stay sexually pure before marriage? What are some ways you can strengthen your resolve not to commit sexual sin?
godlove on April 30, 2014 at 6:56 am
Wow! Why is it not really surprising that today’s meditation received such a low rating? Personally, I 5-starred it anyway, but I’d like to know: is the same purity demanded of boys as it is of girls? I’m trying to find Biblical references instructing boys specifically as well about staying pure until marriage.
Tom Felten on April 30, 2014 at 11:17 am
godlove, there are many Scriptures that address sexual purity for male and females, but this passage from Paul should be particularly helpful: 1 Corinthians 6:12-19.
godlove on April 30, 2014 at 12:00 pm
Thanks for that.
I know that passage but see it more as teaching faithfulness in marriage and warning against encountering prostitutes. I have difficulty finding a particular passage to explain the importance of staying chaste until marriage for a Christian young man.
Nelson Tai on May 1, 2014 at 8:37 pm
Guess the question comes to mind whether men should stay chaste before marriage or not. If no, then why women have to stay chaste while men don’t? Is the Lord “bias” in just wanting women to keep themselves sexuality pure while men don’t? Then what about keeping oneself holy to the Lord?
If keeping oneself holy (setting apart) to the Lord means staying away from sexual sin (masturbation, sex before marriage, etc), then I think both men and women are included.
Gene on April 30, 2014 at 7:21 am
You don’t have to look far in these passages to find the word jealousy (Song of Solomon 8:6). This is one big reason to wait and continue to be faithful in marriage. God commands it -that is reason enough, but jealousy is a byproduct of intimacy with another. Accountability to others is important to keeping us all on the right path, but I’ve learned that avoiding situations that lead to sexual immorality is also very important.
Tom Felten on April 30, 2014 at 11:18 am
Good thoughts, Gene. Thanks for sharing! Both accountability and avoidance have been helpful to me as well.
Mike Wittmer on April 30, 2014 at 8:40 am
That is a moving story. I like how understated it was, leaving the ring there in an unassuming way.
Tom Felten on April 30, 2014 at 11:20 am
It was very moving to witness it, Mike. I don’t have a daughter, but I could definitely see what the young woman’s mother was feeling!
gshafer11 on April 30, 2014 at 9:17 am
Dear God, please help my two daughters find loving, faithful, committed, Christian husbands. They are still young and innocent. Please watch after them, protect them, and keep them safe.
In Jesus name. Amen.
Tom Felten on April 30, 2014 at 11:21 am
Beautiful prayer, gshafer!
edgarschuchardt@gmail.com on April 30, 2014 at 12:48 pm
I liked how our Pastor put it. Relationships are like a bandage. Everytime we remove our love from one person to another the adhesive properties weaken. Over time it’s meaning can loose all of it’s strength and vigor, which is why we are called to guard our hearts.