A young woman wrote: “I’ve fallen in love with an unbeliever, but I know it’s wrong. What should I do?” One of our authors posted her question and his answer on the ODJ website.
Three months later, the young woman made a comment in the same post. She said that even though unbelieving family and friends condemned her for not marrying the young man, she chose to break up with him due to her love for Jesus. She described the persecution she’d endured, but also the joy in doing what pleased God. Then—get this—she wrote that the young man had recently become a believer! She closed by writing, “Let us come to God with a pure heart, willing to obey.”
The apostle Paul wrote to his protégé Timothy, instructing him in what it takes to have a “pure heart” and to “keep [himself] pure” (1 Timothy 1:5; 2 Timothy 2:21). Paul knew that the heart decisions that led to purity before God were hard ones. Yet he implored Timothy to realize that “soldiers don’t get tied up in the affairs of civilian life, for then they cannot please the officer who enlisted them” (2 Timothy 2:4). In other words, doing what’s contrary to God’s commands (including marrying an unbeliever) is disobedience and sin that breaks God’s heart and leads to personal heartache.
Paul called Timothy to make heart decisions that might lead to suffering, but would also “bring salvation and eternal glory in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 2:10). For if we “endure hardship, we will reign with [God]. If we deny him, he will deny us” (2 Timothy 2:12-13).
The young woman who wrote to ODJ made the hard decision. The result? A young man has now received Jesus as his Savior. May we follow her example in all our heart decisions.
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: 1 Kings 22:29-40
More:
Read Philippians 1:12-14 and see the results of Paul’s choice to live for Jesus despite the persecution he faced.
Next:
What heart decisions have you been wrestling with? How do Paul’s words and actions give you hope as you seek to live a pure life for Jesus?
satscout on April 22, 2014 at 12:15 am
That reminds me so much of what happened to my sister – when she met my brother-in-law, he was not yet a believer. She and he were clearly attracted to one another, but she wouldn’t date him… I still remember the night he told her he got saved. She called me in near panic, saying what do I do now that he is eligible? Grin. They have been married 14 years now. God truly has a sense of humor!
Tom Felten on April 22, 2014 at 9:07 am
satscout, what a cool story! Thanks for sharing your sister’s story and how she chose to follow God instead of her heart.
ryann on April 22, 2014 at 12:51 am
To marry or not to marry a non-believer is a sensitive topic for me and my wife. I am a believer and my wife WAS not when I proposed to her. 2 months before our wedding she decided (I never asked her… I just prayed silently) to be saved because she felt that it was the right thing to do.
We believer sometimes forget that we have a GREAT God to does great things if we just -out of pure heart, ask Him.
For me, I did not regret that I decided to marry a non-believer. If your faith is strong, and your desire is good for the non-believer partner or partner-to-be, to marry or not to marry him/her should not be a question.
Tom Felten on April 22, 2014 at 9:13 am
ryann, thanks for sharing. I’m so glad you and your wife are experiencing a loving marriage based in Jesus. I believe Scripture is clear, however, in God’s desire for us to not date or marry unbelievers. This helpful post from ODJ author Jeff Olson presents the biblical case well. Thanks for carefully considering the Scriptures contained in the post.
Gene on April 22, 2014 at 10:29 am
My wife and I were both growing Christians when we met and I still needed to break things off for several months to get a better idea of where God was leading me. Although difficult, it was time well spent and we felt even more blessed as we drew together. This is something we are praying for our children as they date. Thanks, Tom, for writing on this.
Mike Wittmer on April 22, 2014 at 10:39 am
I remember that story. Thank God when he rewards our obedience. I love happy endings!
I’m also challenged by the example of the three friends in Daniel 3. They also had a happy ending, but they were resolved no matter what. They told Nebuchadnezzar in Daniel 3:17-18, “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty. But even if he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.”
jessie1 on April 22, 2014 at 11:02 am
I think the two most important things my then fiancee’ and I discussed while on the subject of marriage was religion and children. At the time I was not as devout a Christian as I am today, but it was still important to me that my mate be a believer. And as I stated, I could not marry someone who did not want children. My wife had a stronger faith than I at the time, and over the years it kept me “in line” when I at times started to wander off the path of God’s desires. I attribute the fact that we both are Christian to being able to say that we have spent 28 tears together. It was instrumental in being able to survive the trials of life. There were tough times indeed, but our Christian wedding vows kept us working as a team when things seemed hopeless. We stayed by each others sides because we believed that is what God wanted. To think that I am allowed to spend the rest of my earthly life with her, then eternity in heaven, makes day to day life easier. I cannot imagine feeling this way about anyone who does not see the Truth of God’s love for us. There would definitely be a major part of life missing to be with a non-believer. God Bless, Jessie
BearPair on April 22, 2014 at 8:36 pm
Amen. Thanks for sharing this vital topic!