Renowned Christian writer Dallas Willard wrote: “The aim of God in history is the creation of an all-inclusive community of loving persons, with Himself included in that community as its prime sustainer and most glorious inhabitant.” Marriage is one way God continues to create this community.

Paul commenced his instruction on marriage by affirming a mutuality and oneness between husband and wife: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). The husband’s loving posture toward his wife and the wife’s loving posture toward her husband shouldn’t be primarily movements toward their human partner but acts of worship toward God. Paul is pointing to the reality that God is at the center of real marriage.

With God at the center, however, he understands that the husband and wife surrender themselves to one another in a way that is unique for each. Even with their uniqueness, what should be common between the husband and wife (and in fact common between everyone in every relationship within the kingdom of God) is its cruciform (cross) shape. The husband’s love for the wife and the wife’s love for the husband should reflect the love of Jesus for us. Our lives are to be poured into the mold of His cross.

Paul makes this point most explicit in his instruction to husbands. “Husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up His life for her” (Ephesians 5:25). The husband is to give himself up for the good of his wife, for the good of love. Likewise, wives are called to respect their husbands (Ephesians 5:33). Love, in the way of Jesus, is never a flippant or easy affair. Love will eventually call us to die.

NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: 1 Kings 1:28-53