In an online forum, one woman wrote: “I’m single, over 30, and under pressure from parents, friends, and just about everyone around me to get married. Haven’t met the right guy, but still praying to. I’m really looking for ways to cope with this and would really appreciate sound advice.”
Would you advise her to consider nonbelievers in Jesus?
Someone said, “When you have a practical problem, start solving it by getting your theology right!” And that’s exactly what the prophet Malachi did when addressing the issue of marrying nonbelievers. By asking several rhetorical questions, Malachi drove home the point that since God is the Creator and the Redeemer of His people, we have an obligation to honor, love, fear, worship, and obey Him (Malachi 2:10). And what did God call marrying a person who was not one of His own? Unwise? No, He said it was “detestable” (Malachi 2:11).
Why? Because God wants His people to be holy—set apart for Him (Exodus 19:6). Being in a romantic relationship with a person who doesn’t love and obey God will inevitably compromise holiness (Exodus 34:11-16).
But didn’t Paul make provisions for marriage to unbelievers in 1 Corinthians 7:12-16? No! When Paul instructed those who were married to unbelievers in Corinth, he wasn’t endorsing such a union. Rather, he was giving counsel to those who had become believers after marriage. Paul went on to say, “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but only if he loves the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:39).
While marrying a believer won’t guarantee a happily-ever-after marriage, it’s God’s right way for selecting a Mr. or Mrs. Right. True holy matrimony will mirror the holy, loving relationship He has established with us.
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: Revelation 22:1-21
More:
Read Proverbs 3:5-6 for God’s assurance and direction in pursuing a romantic relationship.
Next:
What qualities do you look for in deciding whom to marry? What biblical characteristics can’t be compromised?
tom felten on December 31, 2013 at 9:13 am
Good thoughts, Poh Fang. I love how you ended—focusing on the loving and holy relationship Jesus has established with us. This relationship is reflected in the beauty of the perfect love seen in the relationship between the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Aganos on December 31, 2013 at 12:58 pm
Its God who initiated marriage at the garden of Eden (Gen 2)He chose and prepared a partner for Adam. I belief that for every man/woman who stays in Gods plan,there is a marriage partner He has chosen and preparing for him/her. And in His own time He will make all things beautiful.
fallenone on December 31, 2013 at 6:02 pm
I love the post and would add just one more “thought”. Paul was providing valuable advice to singles in 1 Corithians Chapter 7. It’s okay to be single. Why he makes sure people understood that this was his “advice” and not a commandment from God, it is still good advice. It pains me when well meaning people, to include those in the Church insist on getting people married off. It’s time for Christians to let go and let God. His plan for our lives if far morer interesting and “right” than those around us.
wingshadows on December 31, 2013 at 6:35 pm
My mother always advised me to marry a “nice Christian man”. She didn’t and was miserable many times as my father became an alcoholic. I would add to that: don’t assume that a person is a Christian because he/she says so or they are very involved in a church. Please pray about any relationship and have some mature Christian friends pray with you. I am single and will remain so until or unless my Heavenly Father sends a Christian man my way with a gift tag saying this is the one.
Happy Blessed New Year
flo1 on January 1, 2014 at 3:19 am
““I’m single, over 30, and under pressure from parents, friends, and just about everyone around me to get married.” I agree.
Friends would say, “You won’t be able to have children at your age because it is passed that time to have children.” I would mention that there are interventions today. There are adoptions, single parents, and God’s intervention as in the Bible days. But still I realize that maybe not everyone is suppose to get married. The question is what if God wants me to live as a Godly Christian single woman and serve in various areas. God purpose for me to be a single woman and not compare myself to others. To live for Him until I die or until He comes. I started dating at 30 years old and I am still single, so I will encourage others who are over thirty to stick with Jesus, and know that the critical comments are out there. Stand strong in the Lord and His ways.
LCC on January 2, 2014 at 1:39 am
Hi Flo 1!
I understand what you are going through. I am 41 and still going through this! It is a struggle as we live in this world. Agreed with you, married or not married, let us stick to Jesus.
“Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior”
Habakkuk 3 :17-18
Blessed new year 2014 to you!
tom felten on January 2, 2014 at 9:03 am
Thanks for sharing, LCC. Love your Christ-centered perspectives and the beautiful Scripture you presented. Yes, we can rejoice and be joyful in Jesus as we head into 2014—for He is the source of all joy and fulfillment!
mike wittmer on January 4, 2014 at 2:33 pm
This is wise instruction, Poh. There may not be one “Mr. or Mrs. Right,” but there are many Mr. and Mrs. Wrong!