A 60-year-old man, atop a John Deere tractor, charged at his 69-year-old brother-in-law who was harvesting hay astride his own tractor. The collision resulted in a damaged tire and the tractor-crasher’s arrest. One law enforcement official commented, “We’ve responded on prior occasions to calls because of differences between the families.” While it’s a bit unclear what the man hoped to accomplish by confronting and crunching his brother-in-law, the story shows that family feuds can escalate to ridiculous levels if they’re not resolved.
Abram and his nephew Lot needed to settle a family issue regarding farmland because the area where they lived “could not support both [of them]” (Genesis 13:6). Scuffles broke out between their herdsmen. “Finally, Abram said to Lot, ‘Let’s not allow this conflict to come between us’ ” (Genesis 13:8). Abram bravely took the first step toward peace, noting the need for harmony since they were “close relatives.”
Humbly, Abram said to Lot, “Take your choice of any section of the land you want, and we will separate” (Genesis 13:9). This offer showed that family relationships were more important to Abram than satisfying his self-interest. Imagine what might have happened if he had left Lot in a cloud of dust, yelling over his shoulder: Get lost, kid. I’m your elder, and I’ve got dibs on the prime real estate around here! Instead, Abram kept his word and allowed Lot to settle in the lush Jordan Valley, while he set up camp in Canaan (Genesis 13:11-12).
Abram’s actions show how humility, generosity, and selflessness can help us navigate through rough spots with our relatives. Jesus said: “God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God” (Matthew 5:9).
NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: Isaiah 53:1-12
More:
Read Romans 12:16-18 for some pointers on peaceful relationships. Refer to Colossians 3:12-14 to see why God’s grace should compel Christians to be at peace with others.
Next:
Why is it sometimes difficult to make peace with family members? How might a Christian seek peace without becoming a pushover?
mike wittmer on May 23, 2013 at 6:55 am
Imagine Thanksgiving dinner at their house! I think most of our fights happen within families, in part because we’re always together and in part because we stop pretending and let it all hang out. This reminds me that who I truly am is who I am at home, not the image I project in public.
jennifer benson schuldt on May 23, 2013 at 12:06 pm
Mike,
Great points. I think another reason why family quarrels can be so difficult–and so important to resolve–is that family members are the people we “do life with”. These relationships endure, whether they’re troublesome or not. The stakes are high when family is involved. This is great motivation for us to make peace, even when peace doesn’t come easily.
tom felten on May 23, 2013 at 10:40 am
Not dealing with conflicts and the hurts from family members is also a damaging practice. For relationships will not be healthy. May we confront and speak the truth in love, seeking to honor Jesus and pursue relationships that glorify Him (Ephesians 4:15).
jennifer benson schuldt on May 23, 2013 at 12:14 pm
Tom,
This is so true. Stuffing our feelings and emotions can be tempting when we don’t have the energy or will to sort things out. Truly loving someone means taking the time to work our issues out (1 John 3:18). The benefit is that in the long run, healthy relationships come from being honest and loving.
yemiks1 on May 23, 2013 at 2:09 pm
Most problems we face originates from family curses. Noah and Ham, Jacob and Reuben…
Only Christ’s family (Christians) can offer the best love.
jennifer benson schuldt on May 23, 2013 at 8:17 pm
yemiks1,
Thanks for posting a comment today! It is good to know that even when we have difficulty with our flesh-and-blood family relationships, the body of Christ may lend support and help us through those times. Christian brothers and sisters who love like Jesus can show us what genuine, godly love looks like (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
alli on May 23, 2013 at 7:49 pm
Amen. Its best to trust Gods abundance give to who asks of you lest you get imbroiled in strife. In dealing with others its best to take the lower seat.
jennifer benson schuldt on May 23, 2013 at 8:23 pm
Alli,
You comment reminds me of one word: humility. Ephesians 4:2 links patience with humility. It calls us to “make allowance for each other’s faults” in the name of love. Sometimes it’s so easy to go the other way and refuse to be gentle when someone else’s shortcoming makes our life difficult. Having grace with people who offend us, being humble instead of striking back–these are the marks of loving people.